Comments from FLT3

Yet Another New Beginning...

2010-01-22T08:35:00.000-08:00

"A shark bite a Howell? He wouldn't dare!"
-Thurston Howell III

Happy New Year to all of my readers! I do hope my recent lapse in posting has not cost me any of my admittedly few followers. As is often the case, I open this little missive with a renewed vow to blog daily. (After the less-than-stellar shelf life of last year's "Julie and Julia"-esqe effort, I will refrain from placing any real promises here...I'll just try to write more and more often.)

I am now in week three of my long-term sub job at McAdory High School. (Actually, as I write, my Advanced Theatre kids are here with me in the library researching their period duet scenes.) So far so good...some of my classes are more enthusiastic about theatre than others, but for the most part I have a very good group. I am particularly fond of my advanced kids...so much talent and such good attitudes! I will definitely miss them come April.

The holidays were delightful, capped off by a week in London with my very good friend, Goldstein. We saw a few shows, a few of the touristy spots (we had both been before, so we didn't feel the need to see all the first-time attractions) and the inside of enough pubs to keep everything interesting...as always, just breathing the air of The Motherland was good for my soul. :-) God Save The Queen!

Upon return, I worked for a week and then missed a week due to Vertigo/Inner Ear trouble. I had never suffered from such before and hope never to again. Imagine spending a week on a Tilt-A-Whirl, or of being extremely drunk without any of the fun associated with that particular endeavour. Yeah, it's bad...

At any rate, Yours Faithfully is back at the helm and feeling much better, if not 100%.

On the theatre front, I am looking forward to getting started on IT'S A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING, which I am directing in April. I think I am also going to perform, which will be fun. As an audience member, I am seeing both JEWTOPIA and BUDDY HOLLY:THE MUSICAL this weekend, so much entertainment awaits me...I am helping out with SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK at MHS, while Melissa directs (no joke) THE PRINCESS AND THE PEE at Hueytown. We are doing our best to spread a love of the arts to the younger generation, which is a good thing. I am going to let my advanced kids watch CenterStage's THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE next week for a critique, which should be fun. I told them that they would get extra credit for praising my performance. Just kidding. Maybe. ;-)

That should bring my readership up to speed. Perhaps 2010 will be my most prolific year to date...we shall see...

In today's News From The Motherland...fewer eels in the Thames...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8473965.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

DAMES In Dock...

2009-11-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

Day 53: "Nobody can pull the wool over my eyes! Cashmere, maybe, but wool? Never!"
-Thurston Howell III

The last two nights have brought successful performances of DAMES AT SEA, and tonight concludes our all-to-brief run. I love doing shows at Hoover Library, but three performances just aren't always enough. C'est la vie...we still have one left tonight.

This afternoon I return to A CHRISTMAS STORY, with a 2pm rehearsal. Paul has done a tremendous amount of work during my time at sea, and I am excited about seeing all the progress that has been made. Who knows...maybe Ralphie will actually get that Red Ryder 200 shot carbine action range model air rifle...but the sunzabitchin Bumpuses will still let their mangy hounds run wild and that no good ding blang fuzzlewhizzin furnace will keep producing clinkers...

I love that show. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...an issue with the BBC website. Will post two links next time...

Cheers!
FLT3

DAMES Sets Sail...

2009-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

Day 52: "Of course, we'll be rescued! You don't expect Thurston Howell III to spend the rest of his life on an island without a stock ticker, do you? Not to mention a fox hunting season!"
-Thurston Howell III

Once again, I am attempting, dear readers, to resume daily blogging. Oh, to have a dollar for every time I have sworn to be more diligent with these scribblings...

Last night was final dress rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, with a small invited audience of about 35 or 40 people. I am happy to report that all went very well, with the exception of two costume changes (both mine) that have to take place with lightning speed. Although I made it onstage, to call me anything but bedraggled and rumpled would be obscenely generous. I do believe the problem(s) have been solved, however, so tonight's opening should be quite successful.

SANTA IN SPACE is going well. The kids should love it, and there is enough cheeky humor in the script to keep the adults from falling asleep.

I have been very philosophical lately...the concept of sadness has been on my mind as I have been fighting off a bit of a funk. There are those among us (good and learned people, all) who view sadness as a chance for growth, inner knowledge, a greater texture of being, etc. I respect this outlook intellectually, but it is not for me.

My view on sadness is that it is a cancer on the soul and must be wiped out. Our lives are so short...to waste a moment of the truly precious time we have been given is a sin, and sadness absolutely destroys the quality of the time we have on Earth. With apologies for the shallow philosophy, I have to quote the great philosopher Sally Bowles..."start by admitting from cradle to tomb isn't that long a stay..."

If sadness means growth, I'll stay ungrown. Take me to the island, strike up the orchestra, and bring on the dancing girls, falling coconuts, and spiffily-dressed upper-crust Englishmen (and women) singing about the Ascot Opening Race or histrionic Ohioan parents wondering what's the matter with kids today...I'm here to be happy.

And there it is. Feel free to disagree, but that's my viewpoint.

In today's News From The Motherland... a push to legalize...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8357082.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Dance With Me...Or Not...

2009-11-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

Day 51: "Cesar Romero would attend the opening of a napkin."
-Jim Backus

Well, once again, I have missed a day or two of blogging. C'est la vie, I suppose, but I do need to resume my daily scribblings. Now that my readership is in the low double-digits, I suppose I have an obligation to The Thinking Public. ;-)

Lots of fun things going on..."Dames At Sea" opens one week from yesterday, and last night we did a full run through without stopping, which is great. We now have time to polish and refine. If anyone is interested in seeing it (no pressure, just FYI) tickets are almost completely sold out for the (admittedly short) 3-performance run.

I am, despite my overall good feelings about the show, terribly concerned that my dancing abilities (or lack thereof) will be the one tiny flaw in an otherwise excellent production. Jack and Kim (my director and choreographer, respectively) keep insisting that I am making great improvement, they can tell that I am working, etc. etc. etc.... but let's be honest, friends. I have the coordination and physical grace of a drunken moose. George Wallace was a better dancer than I am. If a role calls for singing and acting, I'm your man...if the words "dance break," "second act ballet," or "anything more than a box step or a grapevine" are applicable to a given part, it's most likely going to be above my skill set...

Oh well, maybe The Captain was wounded in the Boer War and has a shattered fetlock or something. Perhaps that can be part of my back-story...

I also learned a lesson in stage combat safety this week...basically, if you're six feet tall and someone five-foot-two is throwing a punch at you, leaning in to her as she does it is not a good idea. Yes, for most people with the sense God gave a turnip, this would be obvious, but yours faithfully has never claimed an excess of common sense...

In today's News From The Motherland...one does so hate to hear of head-butting at a wedding...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/south_west/8346279.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Our First Milestone!

2009-11-03T09:56:00.000-08:00

Day 50: "Ah, the bar-room! A place of good cheer and conviviality!"
-Jim Backus (as Mr. Magoo)

Well, dear readers, we have hit day 50 in our "year of daily blogging." Okay, so a few days have been missed...well, more than a few, but there you are...the spirit is true and the goal clearly stated, so if we stumble, so be it. Our marathon started on 19 August, which was...a few days longer ago than 50, but still we persevere... ;-)

So far this has been a fairly productive morning...things have been accomplished, goals achieved, deadlines met, and generally all done well. Let's hope that this trend continues...

This afternoon I must pay a visit to the local "Doc In A Box" to get a TB test, which will hopefully complete all my requirements for subbing in the Jefferson County system. I do believe one could get married, buy a home, and perhaps even bring home slightly rotten fruits and vegetables from Haiti with less paperwork. Quel dommage to be sure, but at least I am almost done...

I bought a new computer this weekend, and after tomorrow's visit from the Bright House Cable service rep, it will actually work! For months, my cable has been a bit fuzzy, but I don't watch much TV, so I never bothered to have it fixed...however, the same snowy reception seems to be preventing the whatsit in the cable wires to get through the thingmabob and make connection to the doohickey that makes the thingy work.

Am I being too technical for anyone?

On other fronts, it has recently come to light that in the recent unpleasantness regarding Larry Langford's unfortunate turn of fortune he was actually offered a plea deal that would have only presented him with a few years in prison. LaLa rejected the deal, and now faces up to 800 years. Probably not his wisest decision. Oh, Larry, Larry, Larry...

In today's News From The Motherland...banking changes at Lloyd's and RBS...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8340627.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Stage Update and LaLa...

2009-11-02T08:27:00.000-08:00

Day 49: ...and we're back!

Again, apologies for the missed days of blogging. I suppose my resolve to mirror "Julie and Julia" has been somewhat less than successful thus far, but the effort continues. Once we hit day 365, dear readers, we can have fun seeing how many actual days have passed... I am, as the saying goes, a flawed man, but my efforts will not cease...

The various shows with which I am involved are going swimmingly. Dames At Sea sets sail in two weeks, and it is coming together extremely well. We are under the direction of The Great (and I do not exaggerate) Jack Mann who can, as far as I am concerned, do no wrong. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was actually DIRECTED to play my 2nd act role as Jim Backus...oh what a treat, but when the eye-rolling commences, I hope anyone with that knowledge will explain that I was only following my director's instructions...by George! The rest of the cast is doing a great job, and the show will be a success...even more so if I can somehow get through the dance numbers without utterly embarassing myself...which may or may not be possible...

A Christmas Story, as of last night, is completely blocked and now we can really start the fun work. (A special shout-out to my dear friend and Assistant Director, Paul McCracken, who has been as good as gold from running rehearsal when I have been at Dames, to helping organize everything from props to publicity, and generally helping the train run smoothly.) I won't bore the reader with a list of names (for there are many) of those who are making A Christmas Story a joy...let it suffice to say that everyone involved is adding immeasurably to the warmth and high quality of the experience. Sonsabitchen Bumpuses... ;-)

Santa In Space begins rehearsal next week at BCT. More as it develops, but I have read the script and it is charming, funny, and cute...perfect fare for the kids at Christmas time.

Larry remains free. Long may he wave. Although I still mourn the departure of quite possibly the most amusing political figure in Birmingham history (and that's saying quite a lot) I have launched my own Facebook "campaign" for mayor...so I don't live in the city limits? Who cares? That never stopped Larry...

In today's News From The Motherland...Trouble at The Tower...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8337367.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

The Color Purple (my feet)

2009-10-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

Day 48: "I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance...and I find the moment that I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical."
-Henry Higgins on the relationship between the sexes in My Fair Lady.

Well, now that Professor Higgins has brightened the day with his thoughts on love, let's take a look at something I truly adore...IRONING!!!!

I will pause for laughter here.

This week brings a fun little gig ironing costumes for the national tour of "The Color Purple." The money is quite good and my co-workers most congenial, but Sweet Mother of God, they certainly do have a lot of clothes! MY FEET ARE KILLING ME after standing and ironing all day.

I know...bitch, bitch, bitch, as they say... I may not revel in the work itself, but I look forward to the paycheck, and hey...I'm working in the arts...sort of... ;-)

The Trial Of Larry Langford continues with no real fireworks thus far. This is sure to change.

In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown encourages compromise...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8319679.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

More Noel Coward...

2009-10-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

Day 47: Another day, another dollar.

Today I am subbing at Hueytown High School, which is my first job in the Jefferson County system. So far, so good...my classes are all listening to "To Kill A Mockingbird" on CD, which is quite pleasant. It has been years since I last read the book, yet I find myself mentally reciting along with the narrative voice whenever a favorite passage arrives. Good writing stays with one for a while...and excellent writing for a lifetime. At present, the reprehensible Bob Ewell offers his testimony.

Well, The Trial Of Larry Langford is underway, and since I have a little time on my hands, I have decided to have another go at lyric composition in the style of Noel Coward...

"Lucky Larry"
By FLT3 (with apologies to NC)

Though 'tis true that Larry would not turn up his nose
At a gift of cash or (for style and dash)
A swell new suit of clothes,
To accuse him of malfeasance, see,
Would lack a common decency,
A lapse his counsel surely would oppose.

With a strong defense in hand, which
Will set him free (most gloriously)
He'll celebrate with a fried egg sandwich
And (not to belabor it)
A Grapico (his personal favorite)
And laugh at the sentencing of Blount (the grand snitch.)

Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap, you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor
From your flagon of chicanery we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.

LaPierre made a bargain to quite sell you out,
He's a cad and a bounder, a rogue and a rounder,
With a mouth like a chasm and nose like a snout.
Though ugly and scary
He can't harm our Larry.
LaLa's followers all remain strong and devout.

To the land of Bear Bryant the trial relocated
Where publicity grew and (as everyone knew)
The ensuing enthusiasm ne'er once abated.
Larry's every caper
Made the daily newspaper
And acquittal is fervently anticipated...

Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor.
From your flagon of chicanery, we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.

In today's News From The Motherland...a clean Amy Winehouse...?
(For some reason "Copy/Paste" isn't working...will add link ASAP.)

Cheers!
FLT3

A Certain Perspective...

2009-10-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Day 46: "I can't believe I'm saying this...but can you make him a little more Thurston Howell?"
-Jack Mann, uttering a very rare statement to FLT3 at "Dames At Sea" rehearsal.

I hope this post sparks conversation, but not any arguments...I have been thinking a lot today about the perspective one brings to an artistic evaluation. I must, unfortunately, repeat a small amount of gossip to illustrate my point. Names will be scrupulously witheld to protect friendships and feelings.

Yesterday I saw an outstanding performance of a musical revue. I went mainly to be supportive of several friends who performed in it, and to be honest, I was not sure what to expect. Several other friends (all of whom are in the Bham theatre community) had told me it was "cute," "okay," and "not bad." Nobody trashed it, but the endorsements were somewhat lukewarm. Therefore, with glad heart but moderate expectations, I bought my ticket and took my seat...

Without exaggerating, I will say that the performance I saw was on par with most of what I have seen in NYC and London. The musicianship was first-rate, the performers were energetic and committed to the choreography, and the direction was sparkling and lighthearted when appropriate, and quite touching at times. I would not have felt cheated had I paid twice the ticket price or more. It was, in a word, delightful. (Incidentally, the theatre was all but sold out, and the crowd was quite enthusiastic.)

Do I think the tepid praise I heard in advance was mean-spirited? Absolutely not. I just think that we (performers in the arts community) are sometimes less than objective when evaluating the work of our friends. This does not make anyone a bad person...it's just a fact.

There is an old saying that I love..."when you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you." (Try it...it's true...) I will admit that I have been guilty of this tendency myself. I have sometimes been a bit more harsh about performances than (in retrospect) I should have been. It just makes for an interesting point to ponder...does an artistic inclination rob one of some objectivity? As much as we all love our friends who are also our fellow performers, do we tend to hold them to a higher standard than the average audience member would?

At any rate, I was thoroughly entertained and got much more than my money's worth...and I am going to do my very best not to view the work of others from beneath an arched eybrow, so to speak...

On other subjects, I am looking forward to subbing with a new school system tomorrow. (I will continue to sub for Vestavia and Mtn. Brook, but have now added Jefferson County Schools to my list.) There is hopefully a very substantial job forthcoming...more on that as it develops...

"Dames At Sea" continues her voyage towards the stage. Tickets are going fast, so make reservations now if you are interested in seeing the show. We have only three performances, November 12, 13, and 14.

In today's News From The Motherland...Firefighters On Strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/south_yorkshire/8315417.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

From The Deck Of The Ship...

2009-10-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

Day 45: I remember Pensacola...
-From the musical Dames At Sea.

As I write, the cheerful tones of "Choo Choo Honeymoon" are being played and sung behind me. Yes, I am at rehearsal, and so glad of it. Dames At Sea is a musical so happy it makes Anything Goes look like an Ibsen drama...well, that's an exaggeration, but you get the point. We perform November 12-14 at Hoover Library Theatre, for those who may be interested.

Well, the Trial Of The Century begins next week, assuming Larry doesn't cop a plea. (The Larry in reference is Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford, for those who do not follow our local politics.) As blatantly guilty as he appears to be of all sorts of malfeasance, I can't help admiring (albeit with a shake of my head) a pure charlatan showman, which describes Larry to a T. He is a real-life Harold Hill, but zanier. His trial is sure to be a circus, and he may well emerge as ringmaster. More on this as it develops...

In today's News From The Motherland...shark bites man.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8312805.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Remembering Jack Parrish

2009-10-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

Day 44: Requiem In Terra Pax

It isn't often (well, this is the first time actually) that I will give over my blog to another writer, but today I feel compelled to share the news of the passing of a good friend and fine actor. I met Jack Parrish when we were both performing in "The Lost Colony" in Manteo, NC, in 1994. He was a true gentleman, both onstage and off. I had not seen him for years, but was quite saddened to hear of his death via a mutual friend, who posted the memoriam below. (Our mutual friend, for the record, was not the author...I have never met Bruce Miller, but I thank him for a wonderful remembrance.) RIP, Jack Parrish. You will be missed.

The following is written by Bruce:

Sharing the sadness that so many in the Richmond theatre community are feeling this evening, I’m sorry to report on the passing of Jack Parrish (pictured to the right with Cathy Shaffner standing and Jan Guarino in Money Matters). Jack was an outstanding Richmond theatre artist and a longtime friend to many of us who’ve been walking these boards for a while. After a lengthy battle with lung cancer, Jack only recently went into hospice care and died this afternoon.I met Jack in the early 70s when I was rising in the ranks of the theatre program at U of R and Jack was similarly placed in the theatre program at VCU. One of my favorite Jack memories from those early days was when he starred in a wonderful VCU production of As You Like It, I think during one of the FanFare summers. FanFare was VCU’s erstwhile summer theatre operation.Jack moved out of town after graduating from VCU, worked a few years in New York, landed some soap opera work, and then worked mainly in regional theatre. He played Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story, Uncle Ernie in The Who’s Tommy, Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew, and many other dashing roles (Jack was good at dashing). He appeared at prestigious professional theatres including The Alabama Shakespeare Festival, Asolo Theatre in Florida, and Mill Mountain Playhouse in Roanoke.Jack returned to Richmond in the late 80s, maybe early 90s, to star at Theatre IV as the dashing spy in the classic Civil War melodrama, Secret Service. His other major Theatre IV roles were as The Man in the Yellow Suit in Tuck Everlasting, and as an unforgettable Captain Hook in Peter Pan.At Barksdale, Jack starred in Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Little Foxes, The Crucible, James Joyce’s The Dead, Scapino!, the world premiere of Money Matters, and Anything Goes.Shortly after his foray into Cole Porter, Jack moved to Lexington KY to share a city with his great friend, Rick St. Peter, and to lead the theatre program at a local university. He returned to Richmond during the summers to star in the Henry plays at Richmond Shakespeare, having to leave his role two summers ago when he was first diagnosed and began chemotherapy.Jack also was an acclaimed director, rallying the forces of several of Theatre IV's touring productions. His contributions to Richmond theatre are immeasurable, and he will be greatly missed. Our deepest sympathies go out to Jack’s wife, Kathy, their son, Clay, and the rest of his family.With love and respect, Barksdale will dedicate The Grapes of Wrath, our upcoming co-production with TheatreVCU, to Jack’s abiding memory.--Bruce Miller

In today's News From The Motherland...Tories push for re-opening murder case...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8310722.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Hello, Again...

2009-10-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

Day 43: Sorry I missed a week. I thought it was leap year.
-FLT3

Well, I have once again slacked off a bit in re my daily postings, but with the renewed vigor which I always bring apres-vacances I resume today. This "year" of writing may turn out to contain 500 or so days...

Rehearsal is underway for both Dames At Sea and A Christmas Story, and all is "so far so good." I took a few rehearsal photos of Dames rehearsal last night, and if I can ever figure out how to get them from cell phone to computer, I will post them.

The weather is slate grey and wet, as usual. As depressing as it may sound, I have actually been quite enjoying it. After the nuclear-hot summers we have had of late, the cool semi-darkness of a hydrated autumn is delightful.

If I am already reduced to a discussion of the weather by paragraph three, one might assume that I had little to say today. Perhaps one would be correct...

In today's News From The Motherland...a yogurt advert stirs controversy...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8305918.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Brief Hello

2009-10-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

Day 42: Come dancing...
-The Kinks

The above quote merely points out the fact that I like the song. It has nothing to do with actual dancing, which is not my strongest talent, to put it mildly...

Tonight brought another rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which has left the "Echo Waltz" as well as the title number playing on a semi-perpetual loop inside my head. This time last year it was providing GREASE tunes, which were ever so slowly transforming into the WWII-era tunes of THE 1940's RADIO HOUR. Such is the soundtrack of my life...

Nothing terribly interesting or unusual today. This is not a bad thing.

In today's News From The Motherland...Royal Mail workers strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8296660.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Dames At Sea and BCT

2009-10-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

Day 41: HINES: I told you once...I'm not jealous!
GLADYS: I didn't say you were jealous, Vernon, I said you were drunk!
HINES: Well, you can't have everything...
-From the musical The Pajama Game.

Tonight brought the second rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which shows a great deal of promise. The cast is small (only 6 actors) and everyone in it (with due modesty) is extremely talented and the show itself is delightful. We perform in November at Hoover Library Theatre...only three performances...get your tickets now...

I am playing a dual role, which is always fun. In the first act, I am Hennesey, the highly stressed theatrical producer, and in the second act, the clueless/befuddled ship's captain. Both roles are going to be very enjoyable to play, but at first glance, The Captain is my favorite.

Today also brings a costume fitting for the previously-heralded SANTA IN SPACE at Bham Children's Theatre. I have no idea how the playwright has managed to launch Pere Noel into the ionosphere, but I am sure it will be a show the kids will enjoy. We perform in the "Wee Folks" theatre, which is an intimate space, to say the least. Having done Wee Folks shows before, I feel qualified to state that there is no theatrical venue (at least not in my experience) that provides such...shall we say...immediate feedback on one's performance. Playing in a very small space is sometimes a bit claustrophobic under any circumstances, but when the average audience member is six years old...believe me, you know pretty quickly when they have lost their focus.

As silly as it may sound, children's shows sometimes force the best and most considered acting. Adults will usually politely accept a decent but not brilliant performance. With kids, you have to stay on your game from entrance to exit. ;-)

Onward, onward...

In today's News From The Motherland... a new role for a Tory leader...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8294670.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Redefining Age

2009-10-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

Day 40: If they say I'm too old for you,
Then I shall answer "Why, sir!
One never drinks the wine that's new...
The old ones taste much nicer!
-From the musical "The Boy Friend."

This evening after rehearsal, I was talking to my good friend Goldstein about the concept of age. He and I agreed that while we are (as they say) "eyballing forty," we really don't feel much older than we did in college. This is not the first time I have had this conversation, and it seems that most people within my demographic do not truly view themselves as "middle aged." When we were teenagers, forty seemed (to paraphrase Garrison Keillor) unspeakably ancient, old, degenerate...and now it seems about my age.

I distinctly remember when Dear Old Dad turned forty...I was about eight years old, and could not comprehend why he chose to spend a sparkling, cheerful, two-weeks-before-Christmas weekend just lying on the couch and looking morose. I seem to recall going into the den and poking him with a stick or doing something comparably horrible...to which his only response was something along the lines of "enjoy being young while you can." After a few days of delicious self-pity, he pulled himself out of the ashes and soldiered on, regaining a good 98% of his former cheerfulness, which was still quite ample. In a typical moment of wisdom and insight, he assured me that there would be no more gloomy birthdays for him. Each of us has that one natal anniversary circled in black, and once it has passed, no others can harm us. At the time I was mystified by the concept of depression following a birthday.

My personal bete noir was thirty-five. It knocked me down for the count, and I followed my paternal example and wallowed in my decrepitude for a few days, and then rejoined the world with joie de vivre relatively intact. As forty approaches, I scoff at it. I thumb my nose. I guffaw in the visage of my fortieth year. I might even work up a respectable chortle.

I will neither belabor the point nor dredge up an old discussion, but I must admit that I keep returning to the "Cougar Town" posting of a couple of weeks ago. Again, I am finding levels of inaccuracy heretofore undiscovered. If so many people in my age group are either miserable, desperate, sexually frustrated beyond redemption, or over-the-hill, I have mercifully been spared their company. May that blessing continue.

One final point to share here, and I must give credit where it is due...this is Goldsteinian philosophy. It is not entirely applicable to age, but it holds at least a tangential connection. I have dubbed it "Stein's Theory of Relativity" and I expect it to overtake Einstein's any day now...

When people say how much faster time passes with age, they are correct from a certain point of view. When one is ten years old, a year is one tenth of one's life. When one is forty, one year is one fortieth of the life lived so far. Time DOES move faster when measured against one's entire life to date. It's all perspective.

In today's News From The Motherland...tougher gun laws?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8292525.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

My Man Godfrey

2009-10-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

Day 39: "Where we used to have grocery stores, we now have liquor stores on every corner."
-Mentioned in a local politician's pitch for election. I wonder if that is good or bad...

I watched an old favorite this evening...MY MAN GODFREY with William Powell and Carole Lombard. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it highly. Yes, it's old, the acting is stilted, the script is far-fetched, and the glimpse into the inner workings of a moneyed but eccentric family is completely cartoonish.

It's wonderful. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...Happy Birthday, Monty Python!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/montypython/

Cheers!
FLT3

Smarties

2009-10-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

Day 39: Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker
-Anonymous and oft-quoted.

Today's post is about candy. My sister and I have been discussing those sweet treats of childhood that still cling to the memory...my personal favorite to this day is called "Bottle Caps," and offers a series of soda-esque flavored discs in the shape of (you guessed it) a bottle cap. Her confection of choice is called "Smarties" and is quite comparable...small, sugar-constituted discs of joy, but not shaped like bottle caps.

"Candy" in the vernacular of ma soeur et moi, is applied only to sugary, most likely fruit-flavored, non-dairy sweets. A chocolate bar is "chocolate," and while delightful, has little in common with "candy." By the same token, an offer of a "Coke" is purely for a soft drink, with "Coke" being the cognomen for all things fizzy, sweet, and sold in bottles or cans.

Enough of this. Enjoy the sweet of your choice today. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...a shot in the dark, so to speak...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8289474.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Song For Kim D...

2009-10-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

Day 38: The optimist wakes up and says "Good Morning, God." The pessimist says "Good God, Morning." I don't recall where I heard that, but I've always liked it...

This morning on FaceBook, my good friend/adopted sister Kim D was bemoaning her fate...working retail. We've all been there before, and we all know it can be rather trying. I thought a little something in the style of Noel Coward might amuse her and make the day a bit brighter... :-)

"Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand"
(by FLT3 with apologies to NC)

When ringing the clothes
Or hankies for the nose
Of the lady with the charge plate in hand,
I often reinforce myself
More specifically, re-course myself
Towards the oldest respite in the land...

A slug of gin
Will quite do in
Any of the workaday blues.
And a beer surreptitious
Is always delicious
While dealing with the afternoon to-do's.

From dustman to surgeon
They all must submerge in
The claret from time to time,
And be not perjorative
Re the powers restorative
Of a lightly chilled vodka and lime...

Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand
Is what maintains civility
To the best of ability
Throughout this sceptered land.
'Tis no jest or joke,
That a bourbon and coke
Keeps a smile on the face and a pistol out of hand.

When an elderly matron is shouting with anger
And you wish she were bludgeoned or banned...
Don't bother to ask,
Take a nip from your flask,
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand...

In today's News From The Motherland...a new direction for The Evening Standard...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8286660.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Garment Thoughts...

2009-10-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Day 37: Be an example to your sex,
Give your boot a dapper strap,
And it's smarter if your garter has some snap!
Cravats should be flounced about our necks,
Draw your breeches in quite tight.
Even more so and your torso will ignite!
Now drape your cape and fluff your cuff,
And let your waistcoat swing,
Then the jungle will bow to it's king...
La! But someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes...
That is why the Lord created man...
- from The Scarlet Pimpernel:The Musical

As anyone who read my status today knows, I just purchased a new white dinner jacket online. (Well, it's actually not brand new, but new to me...) I have owned several throughout the years, as much for real life wear as for costume/stage purposes, and they never cease to fascinate me.

There's something about a white dinner jacket that transcends the effect of any other formal garment. A traditional evening outfit is classic and delightful, and I always feel spiffy in a tuxedo. A morning suit is even better...charcoal pinstripes, a cutaway and a cravat can not be underestimated.

But then...there's a crisply pressed pair of black pants, a starched white dress shirt and a black bow tie, topped off with the aforementioned white dinner jacket... It's hard not to feel good about one's self when so attired. It may sound odd, but it's true (at least from my perspective.)

Obviously, the Thurston Howell III imagery is there...but it also brings to mind the thought of an Edwardian dinner dance in a grand London ballroom...or an outdoor reception in the springtime...or even an intimate dinner party with friends, where a touch of playful overdressing seems in order.

I've just now realized that a white dinner jacket represents happiness to me. Plain and simple...if you're wearing one, you're most likely going to attend some sort of festive, happy event with more than a dash of playfulness about it. One does not wear such a garment to funerals, arraignments, or to have a root canal. (Although it might make a visit to the dentist much more fun.)

Clothing is quite powerful when one stops to consider... I have several "I look and feel good about myself" outfits. These include:

. Khakis and either a white or blue button-down shirt. I sometimes jokingly refer to this as my "uniform," and that's really sort of true. This is a basic look, but one that will go almost anywhere...dress it up with a blue blazer or just roll up the sleeves for a more casual look.

. Grey suit. Traditional cut, fresh from the cleaners. Add a regimental tie (green and blue is a particular fave) with French cuff shirt and newly polished shoes. It's impossible not to feel important in a nice suit, even if you're only going to church or dinner.

.Hawiian shirts. Everyone needs to cut loose every now and then.

.Brown tweed jacket and bow tie. If I feel particularly whimsical, I might even add a pair of tortoise-shell glasses just for fun. Add tweed driving cap if it's a particularly British day (and what day isn't?)

...and the list goes on. While clothing was originally intended for warmth alone, one has to wonder if some Paleolithic Adolphe Menjou or Beau Brummell added dinosaur teeth to his fur cassock to make himself feel good. (Yes, I know the history is unsound, but that's not the point...)

Again, time for a reader's poll...what garment(s) do you have that make YOU feel pretty, handsome, full of life, etc.? I will look forward to your answers.

In today's News From The Motherland...UK charities rise to the cause...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8285409.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Musings...

2009-09-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

Day 36: To everything, turn,turn,turn...there is a season, turn,turn,turn...

I have been reflective today. Somewhat melancholy (which I will try and spare my readers) yet hopeful (which I will do my best to share.) I have been pondering the general arc of life, and the strange turns it can take...nothing that will change the nature of man...just personal musings...

Each day is a crapshoot. You never know when you wake up in the morning if today is the day you get hit by a bus or hit the lottery...sometimes the worst morning can bring joy with the setting of the sun, while at other times you can really feel like it's all smooth sailing through calm seas...until the raft sinks unexpectedly (yes, that was a Gilligan reference...bonus points for anyone who can name the episode... ;-)

I suppose that's what makes the world interesting. I remember reading one of those little books of questions that make plane travel and jury duty bearable...you know the kind I mean...and one of the questions was "Would you rather have a flat, predictable, but relatively dull life or one filled with great successes and amazing failures?" Well, anyone who has known me for more than six minutes would quickly realize that the former, while perfect for some, would not be my first choice. Granted, NEITHER is ideal...they are both on the fringes of extreme. They do, however, make for an interesting point to ponder.

There's a marvelous little song in Lerner & Loewe's Gigi called "It's A Bore." In the song, bon vivant Honore Lachailles is trying to cheer up his nephew, Gaston, who is much more staid of nature than his uncle. A quote:

HONORE: Look at Paris in the spring,
When each solitary thing
Is more beautiful than ever before...
You can hear every tree almost saying "look at me!"

GASTON: What color are the trees?

HONORE: Green!

GASTON: What color were they last year?

HONORE: Green!

GASTON: And next year?

HONORE: Green!

GASTON: It's a bore...

(My apologies for the above quote which I thought would round out the discussion, but upon refelction it doesn't exactly apply. However, it's still a nice little tune. It will be in my head today :-)

Enough prattling on my part. I may have had a point, but it has gotten off-track.

In today's News From The Motherland...a Welsh politician calls it quits...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/wales_politics/8283538.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Film Comments...

2009-09-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Day 35: Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors,
Coming home across the briny sea!
When the anchor's weighed and the journey's made,
Then we'll start the party with a "Heave-Ho Me Hearty!"
Forty-Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us!
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors!
-British novelty song, circa 1910.

I have missed a couple of days. Apologies.

I usually begin my post closest to Sidewalk with a quote from Aaron White... "Oh, I had me a time at the Sidewalk..." This year was delightful, but I only actually attended one film, given Lovey's illness and the weather. It was, however, a good one...

We saw a documentary on the world of role-playing games. (The kind with people around a card table rolling dice to see what the knight or spaceman does next...not the sexy kind.) I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse at this little world that exists far beyond what I imagined to be a somewhat silly game played by chubby teenagers and nerdy college students. These people take their gaming very seriously.

I won't go into a lot of detail here, but the film was immensely entertaining and a bit tragic at times. All the cliches were there...the not-so-pretty girl who paints herself solid black to get into character as a dark elf, the overgrown geeky guy who slaves away over a most-likely-less-than-wonderful novel while schlepping through life, and the quirky nudist (yes, I said nudist) who takes an almost unhealthy delight in "killing" other characters. Odd to a (wo)man, but each with some sort of endearing quality...not quite pathos, but close...they were the sort of people you just wanted to hug and take in hand.

But would you really? Are these strange folks basically happy? Do we allow their daily travails (normal ones, mostly) to appear more tragic because of their gamer/nerd-dom? On the other hand, do we see their travails because they are so plentiful? Is a Dungeons And Dragons game the gateway to escape for these socially awkward people? (I'm not being mean, nor am I implying that everyone who plays these games is socially inept...but the three individuals in the film definitely were.)

Like everyone else, I assume they are a mixture of every point along the continuum of human emotion. Here endeth the observation.

In today's News From The Motherland...a giant fish emperiled...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8269000/8269414.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Telling The Truth

2009-09-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

Day 34: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
- Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

Today's topic is the truth. As in, I am not telling the truth when I date this post for Saturday. It is being written and back-dated on Sunday. Now that the pesky disclaimers are out of the way, I can talk about Saturday and use the word "yesterday" instead of "today," and Sunday will not have to be called "tomorrow." That's just too much trouble for a ruse that is neither amusing nor profitable...

Yesterday (Saturday) seemed to bear out the theory that I am simply not destined to grace the interior of a college football arena. As with last week's cancelled trip to the old alma mater, my weekend excursion to Auburn was scotched at the semi-last minute. Flu-like symptoms from Lovey prevented her going, I asked another friend but did not hear back, and then my prospective hosts sent me a text saying that while I was still certainly invited, the weather forecast was for a 100% chance of rain at kickoff.

God and The Universe do not have to beat me about the head.

After all was said and done, Lovey recovered somewhat and we enjoyed a small outing to the Sidewalk Film Festival and took in a movie (which I will discuss in greater detail in Sunday's post) and stopped by the Greek Food Festival for a bite to eat. A low-key, early evening seems to have put her back in the pink of health, and the only casualty was what would have been a delightful visit with good friends. I have great faith that many such visits lie ahead, however...

Our read-through for Dames At Sea went extremely well, and I am looking forward to playing the dual role of Hennesey/Captain. The cast is extremely talented, and we are in the hands of a first-rate production staff, so I forsee a total success.

In today's News From The Motherland...Madonna tops the charts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277463.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Won't You Take Me To (Or Away From) Cougar Town?

2009-09-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

Day 33: Everybody's working for the weekend...

I have been following a discussion on Facebook about the tv show "Cougar Town," starring Courtney Cox. (With a particular nod to Lovey for her very insightful thoughts.) After commenting on the subject on FB, it struck me that "Cougar Town" might be a good topic for today's post...

Without getting too repetitive for those who may have seen my earlier comment, I will admit to having found it amusing. Is it great literature? Will it be remembered for ages to come? Will Courtney even list it on her resume? A resounding and emphatic "hell, no" to all three. It's a fun little diversion best served with a couple of drinks and some popcorn.

Probing deeper, however, I do completely understand how it could be off-putting and even offensive to women, particularly those in the age group represented by the main character. From a male perspective, however, my main argument is with the completely erroneous image it projects about 40-something women. To portray them as desperate, grasping hags-on-the-rise who are so starved for affection they resort to chasing high school students is absurd. Unless I have been injected with some sort of sight-altering potion, there are about a bajillion extremely sexy, desirable, any-man-would-be-lucky-to-have-them 40-and-older women out there. Courtney Cox, for example, is (in my opinion) infinitely more attractive than she was in the "Friends" era.

Our national obsession with youth is creating a culture which blindly accepts 40 as "old." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I do not pretend to speak for my gender, but I would be very shocked if most men with the brains God gave a turnip would disagree. Yes, the 22-year-old cupcake in Maxim is pretty, but would you REALLY be attracted to her in person? Wouldn't a grown woman with life experience and an IQ be much sexier? I certainly think so.

Sexy, like so many other qualities is completely subjective. The writers of "Cougar Town" could accept this and open up the storyline to include a much broader base of experiences, while still staying true to the show's title. Sure, have the occasional fling with a boy toy, if it works for the character. Why not, however, add a plotline with a couple-of-a-certain-age working well and loving each other? I know that isn't as exciting to some, but it would add some much-needed texture to the show. Retread "Sex And The City" jokes are only going to carry them so far.

Yes, it's completely off-base and insular with respect (or lack thereof) to adult women who can actually buy alcohol and vote. That view will eventually wreck the show if a broader vision is not included soon. A one-trick pony show won't run after everyone in town has seen the trick, especially if the trick isn't remotely accurate. (OK, the metaphor broke down, but you get the point...)

I did find the libidinous teenager stealing the signs hysterical.

In today's News From The Motherland...an impromptu drive in window.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/8274635.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Second Attempt...

2009-09-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

Day 32: C is for cookie...and I am trying to resist that temptation.

Well, for all my readers who were disappointed that I did not make it to the UA game last weekend, take heart...tomorrow brings an exodus (well, if Lovey and I count as an exodus...perhaps an exodette?) to Auburn to watch them defeat...whoever it is they are playing...

Perhaps a bit of back-story is due here. One of my very best friends is a strong Auburn alum, and has kindly invited us down for the game and post-game festivities, which sound like great fun. Obviously, the universe is telling me that once every 20 years, I must attend a football match. Who am I to argue? I am sure the game will be enjoyable, the company delightful, and best of all, as I have observed in the past, football gives one an opportunity to drink in the morning and not appear trashy.

Not much else to report. Rehearsals are about to commence for Dames At Sea (in which I am performing) and A Christmas Story (which I am directing.) In about a month, rehearsal will kick off for Santa In Space at BCT (in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony.) I am sure there will be many updates on all three as they wind their respective ways towards the stage.

In today's News From The Motherland...more new ideas from British Airways.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8274200.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Rebellion Redux...?

2009-09-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

Day 31: The Sun Has Got His Hat On! Hip, Hip, Hip Hooray!
- from the musical, Me And My Girl

I have been doing more subbing lately, which has put me into close contact with lots of teenagers. As all of us who have lived through those years are well aware, adolescence is a time for testing boundaries and finding one's own way. This instinct is alive and well in the younger generation. Over the past few days I have seen pink(ish) hair, newsprint-style shirts extoling the virtues of various musical groups, rubber bracelets galore, and an increasingly large number of young people who look like my friends and I did in 1986. It looks like a pop culture retrospective once in a while...I even saw a kid with a Rubik's Cube a few days ago.

In the '80s, we teenagers were rebelling against the staid conservatism of the Reagan era, yet a young, vital, charismatic president was on the horizon. We embraced the materialism offered by our cozy middle-class environment, yet we railed against the heartlessness of a greed-based culture. Female rock stars used sexuality when the talent failed, and the 40-ish crowd benignly chuckled and reflected upon their own similar rebellion in the 1960's.

What is the point of all this? Basically that everything, even styles of rebellion and individuality seem to follow a common (and repetitive) arc. Is that good or bad? Probably neither...just a fact.

In today's News From The Motherland...a Baroness has servant trouble...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8273241.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

For Your Approval...

2009-09-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

Day 30: The ground goes "squish."

Today brings a fairly long post, but one that I hope will be entertaining. I am submitting some writing to a local comedy troupe for (hopeful) performance. Whether or not any of what I write will wind up on stage remains to be seen. At any rate, below is one of the skits I submitted to the group, which I hereby submit for my readers' approval. (If it gets performed and you see the show, please refrain from shouting out the dialogue a la "Rocky Horror." :-)

Any comments will be welcomed...and if you don't keep up with Birmingham politics, it might be a bit difficult to follow...

"CELL BLOCK JACKPOT"

Characters:
Richard Scrushy
Antwon Brown
Bettye Fine Collins
That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars
Showgirl

SCRUSHY: (Entering in prison jumpsuit) Hi, there, everyone! I'm prisoner # 74452, but my friends call me Richard M. Scrushy! You may have heard of me. I'm the guy who was smart enough to create a multi-billion dollar empire, yet I expect you to believe I was dumb enough to let the people working for me commit a multi-billion dollar fraud. Don't you hate it when that happens? I mean...WHO KNEW!!??
Well, I find myself with a little time on my hands these days...7 to 10 years to be precise...and I have decided to pass that time doing what I do best...making money! That's why I am inviting you to play my new game show... RICHARD SCRUSHY'S CELL BLOCK JACKPOT!!!
(Game Show Music, SHOWGIRL enters with Applause sign.)
That's right! It's time to play the game that all the better correctional facilities are buzzing about, where YOU TOO can make a fortune - and possibly lose it without warning - hosted by me, Richard Scrushy, convicted felon, criminal mastermind, amateur rock star and ordained minister! Praise Jesus! (SHOWGIRL holds up applause sign)
Now let's meet our contestants for today! First, hailing from CousinEffer Alabama, a three-time assistant part-time employee of the month at Ray-Ray's Kwiky Mart and former Birmingham City Council Candidate...a man who enjoys fiction writing and getting creative with the English language...Antwon Brown! (ANTWON enters)

ANTWON: It's very splendumerous to be here, Richard.

SCRUSHY: Next, the darling of the Jefferson County Commission, a lady whose mind is always in the sewer, the lovely and controversial...Bettye Fine Collins! (BETTYE enters)

BETTYE: Hmmmmmmm...Hello.

SCRUSHY: And finally...an individual who needs no introduction, which is good because nobody really knows his name...the celebrated man about town we all know and love...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!

GUY: Aaaaaaaaargh!

SCRUSHY: Well said, as always, Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars. Now, who's ready to win some potentially worthless stock options and allegedly stolen cash?
(SHOWGIRL raises applause sign)
Now remember the rules! The first one to hit the buzzer can answer the question, but if that person misses the answer, the other two contestants can give it a try. Everyone understand? Great! Let's begin...Question Number One...What was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial cuts?

(ANTWON hits buzzer - sound effect)

ANTWON: Uuuuuuh...would that be literatics and arithmatation, Richard?

SCRUSHY: No, I'm afraid literatics and arithmatation would be incorrect, Antwon. Bettye...?

BETTYE: Well, Dick...

SCRUSHY: RIchard.

BETTYE: Whatever. I have studied this issue for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that without more funding and a subsidiary tax, I can not fully address or adequately contemplate this issue. Once the school board approves my newly proposed tax on pimple cream, rap albums and unused condoms that sit in some kid's wallet for six years, the high school students of Birmingham should be able to provide sufficient revenue to maintain viability.

SCRUSHY: Thank you, Bettye, but that did not address the question.

BETTYE: There was a question?

SCRUSHY: Never mind. Contestant number three, That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, what was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial crisis?

GUY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

SCRUSHY: That's right! ART! Our first round winner...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!

(SHOWGIRL displays applause sign)

SCRUSHY: Question number two...for five thousand dollars worth of seized computers and a slightly used Flora-Bama t-shirt...and remember it's still anyone's game here...question number two...what is the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama?

GUY: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh!

SCRUSHY: No, I'm sorry! "Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrgh" is the name of Rep. John Rogers' boat, but it is NOT the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama.

GUY: Grrrrrrrrrmph!

SCRUSHY: Yes, indeed. Antwon?

ANTWON: I have used my mentalitics very ardutiously, Richard, and I am going to predillate a guesstation. Is it City Stages?

SCRUSHY: Oh, I'm afraid not...there haven't been enough people at City Stages over the past few years to fill a medium-sized Hefty bag with garbage.

ANTWON: Cursidos and rappletrap!

SCRUSHY: Yeah, what you said...Now Bettye, for the round, what is the fastest-growing waste disposal facility in Alabama?

BETTYE: John Katapodis?

SCRUSHY: That's right!!!! (SHOWGIRL displays applause sign.) Jabba The Katapodis, who enjoys threatening witnesses and trying out new recipies in the prison kitchen, is the correct answer!

BETTYE: Yeah. Good. Nice. Hmmmm-mmmmm.

(Sound effect-bell rings)

SCRUSHY: Oh ho! You all know what that bell means! It's time for our final round!!! With one win each for Bettye Fine Collins and That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, the outcome of this game is still very much up in the air!

SHOWGIRL: Free The Hops!

SCRUSHY: Sweetie, not only is that joke almost a year out of date, if anyone is going to get freed around here, it's me!

SHOWGIRL: Don't bet on it, Richard...

SCRUSHY: Cute. Now, for our final round, this is sort of a personal question, therefore I will judge which answer is best. The question is...what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent financial crisis? Bettye, we'll start with you...

BETTYE: I haven't been to the beauty parlor in months.

SCRUSHY: (Deadpan) No shit? (ALTERNATE LINE: "You don't say...)

BETTYE: Up yours, Richard. You've been in jail long enough to know what I mean.

SCRUSHY: Ouch! Sorry, Bitter Bettye! Better luck next time! Antwon?

ANTWON: I have feduciaciously leetailed my monetarialism in the expendations of financeosity, Richard.

SCRUSHY: Antwon, I have no idea what the hell you just said.

(SCRUSHY looks at SHOWGIRL. SHOWGIRL shrugs.)
(SCRUSHY looks at BETTYE and GUY who shrug.)
(ALL look at ANTWON, who shrugs.)

SCRUSHY: That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, for the game, what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent economic crisis?

GUY: (Suddenly eloquent) Well, Richard, I have found that by using the skills I developed in acting class...Yale School of Drama '98, by the way...I have secured quite gainful employment impersonating a local eccentric and simply holding out my hand, swathed in filth though it may be...Plus, I bought a boatload of HealthSouth when it was at 10 cents a share and sold when it hit twelve dollars.

SCRUSHY: (Slipping him some cash) I'm sorry, can you repeat that...?

GUY: Oh, sorry old boy...YAAAAAAARGGGH!

SCRUSHY: And that's the winning answer!!!!

BETTYE: What the hell?

ANTWON: I'm inpestulated!

SHOWGIRL: What a load of crap!

SCRUSHY: Unfortunately we're all out of time for today, so we'll see you next time! Meanwhile, don't forget the new album I just cut with featured soloist Bernie Madoff, titled "TWO OLD WHITE GUYS SINGIN' CHAIN GANG SONGS."
(SHOWGIRL displays record cover)
From "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to "Freedom Ride," you'll enjoy hearing the classic tunes of incarceration as only The Richard Scrushy Band can present them! Until next time, take care, and hold on tight to the soap! I'm Richard Scrushy saying bye for now!

(Music swells as lights fade.)

In today's News From The Motherland...British Airways goes green...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8268078.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Still Seeking The Loop

2009-09-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Day 29: Woman, I'm troubled. I be all worried of mind.
-Muddy Waters

The loop referenced in today's heading is the one out of which I have fallen lately. I thought about posting two little posts and back-dating them for Saturday and Sunday, but that would be pushing the You-know-I-do-it-and-I-know-you-know-but-we-sort-of-ignore-it factor a bit far, even for me...as usual, I will vow to be back on task from this day forward. Believe that as you will...

The positive side of my having been a slacker for a couple of days is that I actually have a few experiences about which to write. Saturday was supposed to bring my presence at what would have been the first UA football game I had attended since my old fraternity days over 20 years ago. However, the day dawned rainy and grey, and my good friend Goldstein (who was providing the tickets) suggested that we stay in Birmingham and simply watch the game in the comfort of a cozy sports bar. I heartily agreed with this idea.

We went to The Tilted Kilt, a cheeky sports pub which blends English, Scottish, and Irish culture with moderate success. The waitresses are clad in very skimpy tartan wear, which gives one a fair idea of what a strip club in Brigadoon may have resembled. It's all in good fun, and the waitresses seem to be pretty good sports about the whole thing. I can also report that while the fish & chips don't rival those of The Motherland, they are quite tasty.

This week also brings pre-production work on A Christmas Story, which will be CenterStage's big "yes, we're back" production in December. While we have very little money, I have some ideas that will be inexpensive but effective...thank God that most theatre companies are usually on the ragged edge of financial disaster...we've all learned how to do a lot with little money. Also, the script is a cozy, intimate one, which relies on the acting and the story more than great spectacle, which is good...'cause we can only afford a very small spectacle. More like a monocle, truth be told...

Today I subbed at VHHS for a Science class, which was actually lots of fun. The kids were to watch a movie on Earth Science, and by the fourth viewing, I was really starting to enjoy it. Another day, another dollar...

I am still hoping to hear more form the readers who supposedly lurk in the shadows. Feel free to say hello! :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...a rooftop dispute.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/8267763.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Noblesse Oblige and Corn Dogs

2009-09-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Day 28: Frank Thompson is very off-put by the Alabama State Fair's advertisement for "Monkeys Riding Dogs." The monkeys deserve more dignity, and the dogs less physical exertion. Why not offer "Toothless Rednecks Riding Obese Women In Polyester?" There is sure to be a surfeit of both on the premises...
(Today's facebook status.)

I remember going to the fair a few times as a child. (This was, for the record, in the mid-to-late 1970's.) It was always fun, but vaguely unsettling. Even at the age of eight, I realized that the chap covered with grammatically inaccurate tattoos and axle grease was most likely not the sort of fellow one meets at Easter brunch. (This was also one of the first times I realized the inaccuracy of some of the old homilies with which we all grew up...perhaps one can't judge every book by it's cover, but a good look at the cover can usually provide a fairly good idea as to the contents.)

My parents were never huge fair fans, but they indulged me for a while. I finally had to pitch a minor hissy one year, followed by several years of being purchased the new toy of my choice as a payoff for NOT being taken to the fair. I quickly figured out that the new Star Wars spaceship (or whatever was hot at the time) was a better jackpot than a series of rides on the Tilt-A-Whirl (nausea-inducing) and a syrupy grape sno-cone and a mystery meat hot dog (ditto.) Come to think of it, perhaps the binge-drinking of the college years is just an attempt to recapture the youthful folly of fair-going...swirling around...getting sick...eating bad, greasy, food...could be Alabama State Fair circa '78 or University of Alabama circa '91...hmmm...

As for the noblesse oblige...well, we never tossed hot soapy water on the fair workers, nor did we mention the miracle of electrolysis to the woman (I think) selling foam-rubber teddy bears and "Man Of The Year" frosted bathroom mirrors. We were a kind lot, my family and I...

Joking apart, I am very unhappy (see above) with the "Monkeys Riding Dogs" advert. I would like to think that the animals are well-treated and adequately looked after. Yes, I would really REALLY like to think that...but I have my doubts. I console myself with the knowledge that monkeys and dogs are among the best biters in the animal kingdom, and can most likely chomp a chunk out of any human who starts trouble. I would imagine the bouquet de carny is a bit sub-standard...most likely a Schlitz/Spam combo...

Oh hell, I will say it. Don't go to the fair. The monkeys can't be proud of their work, and why add to their embarassment? Why also add to the coffers of a company that would exploit innocent animals in such a degrading way? Perhaps if the public does NOT flood the gates, the mystic "they" will realize just how distateful this type of "entertainment" is to the thinking populace.

I'll even buy you a new toy if you don't go. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...lap-dancing tax break endangered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8263284.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Reader Responses...And More!

2009-09-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

Day 27: FELIX: (After seeing his leading lady heavily drugged) Doc! Will she be able to work?
IRVING: Is Batman a transvestite? Who knows? I was specifically requested to
alleviate her anxiety. Work was never mentioned...
(Another classic from S.O.B., Blake Edwards' brilliant hollywood satire.)

Today brings a big shout-out to two of my good friends and readers...Darrell, who added his memories of The Andy Griffith Show and Thelma Lou's smooching-in-church adventures (shameless floozy!) And Kristi, who posted a reply that somehow got lost in the great swirl of cyberspace...hopefully it will surface soon. At any rate, big thanks to both of you for responding...it's nice to know you're out there reading... :-)

Today brought a return to subbing at VHHS, and I am happy to say that I had an absolute blast! I was in for yet another good friend, Alan, who was kind enough to leave me in charge of his theatre classes for the day. As the kids are just getting started on improv, we played a series of "Whose Line Is It Anyway" type games, which all seemed to enjoy. I got my greatest pleasure of the day out of watching the handful of kids who were most reluctant to get onstage...and then realized how much fun improv can be...as is always the case, the current events of the day influenced the scenes, and Taylor Swift/Kanye were frequently invoked. All in all, a great day with a really wonderful group of kids.

In today's News From The Motherland...spending cuts announced...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8262168.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

With The Mail...A Treasure!

2009-09-16T16:38:00.001-07:00

Day 26: Now listen to this story that we will tell to you...
The story of The Minnow, five passengers, and crew...

If those lyrics seem familiar but not...there's a reason. They are the intro lines for the theme song to The New Adventures Of Gilligan, a cartoon series based on everyone's (well, at least my) favorite fictitious castaways. This series aired in the early 1970's, and is extremely difficult to find...but today, I struck gold. In the mail, I received a 4-DVD set of the entire animated series, purchased online from a collectables shop somewhere in Illinois. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. This is damn nigh the Holy Grail of Gilligania...

After viewing one episode, it is, as I recalled from childhood, basically an extended collection of episodes featuring Gilligan, The Skipper too, The Millionaire...and you know the rest... (pun intended. ;-) Five of the original cast provided the voices for their cartoon counterparts, with Jane Edwards voicing Ginger and Jane Webb giving speech to Mary Ann. Tina Louise wanted to distance herself from the series, and Dawn Wells had prior touring commitments in a stage play, so they were unwilling and unable to participate, respectively.

The other addition to the group is Snubby, Gilligan's monkey friend. Obviously, training a real chimp would have been difficult, but hey...animation allows for anything! :-) It has been pointed out to me that the original series was pretty much a cartoon with live actors, and I agree. That's what made it so delightful!

I suppose today's post won't mean much to anyone except me and a few other die-hard Gilligan nuts, but to us, this is like striking oil...which happens in one of the cartoons, according to the episode guide...I have great faith that the cartoon Thurston Howell III will find some way to gain control of the oil well, only to get his come-uppance in the last five minutes...or else he will soften towards the end and share with the others. Even as much as I love the show and the characters, I can't pretend that they aren't predictable.

So...I pose a question to my readers (audience participation time! :-) What was YOUR favorite TV show/toy/book/etc. from childhood which you still enjoy? Come on...admit it...you still have that Brady Bunch lunchbox in the attic, don't you? How about the Strawberry Shortcake dolls, the Red Ryder BB gun, the Rock-Em Sock-Em robots, the Lassie coloring book, the Star Trek videos, or any other of the bajillion entertainment-based items aimed at the under-18 market? We were raised as pop culture consumers, you know...

Looking forward to some good answers...

In today's News From The Motherland...a possible postal strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8259867.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Pimp Of The Year?

2009-09-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

Day 25: Brands belong on cattle, and that ain't what we're sellin' at Miss Mona's.
- from the Broadway musical "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"

I have been following with some interest the recent foofaraw and kerfuffle (sp? who knows?) over the undercover "pimp and whore" who applied for ACORN assistance and were somewhat cryptically instructed on how to receive a subsidy. While I firmly belive that such commerce between two consenting adults is completely their business, even I have to suggest that perhaps this is not exactly the sort of free enterprise that warrants governmental support. Lest my readers think I have fallen victim to some trumped-up bluenose morality, fear not...it just seems a senseless waste of money. I mean, beyond the hotel expense (which one can reasonably assume will be included in the fee quoted by Jasmine/Dakota/Stormee-With-Two-Ees,) the weekly case of condoms, and the occasional bottle of drugstore perfume, how many business expenses can legitimately be associated with this endeavor? When one stops to consider...it truly is one of the most low-overhead enterprises around. (And yes, I know the use of "overhead" in this context can easily inspire Beavis And Butthead levels of giggling. Feel free to indulge. I certainly did.)

One also has to wonder how the application was approached. Did the applicant list himself and his partner as "Mr Cleavon Velveteen Jones and Cherry Poptart, The Celebrated Courtesan To The Masses?" or did he express himself with the more earthy, understated sort of "JoJo Washington and Ho" patois so favored by inner-city hooligans and Kanye West? One does indeed wonder...

Are purple zebra-print miniskirts considered deductable business expenses? How about herpes medication? Heroin spoons? Lime-green Cadillacs? These are questions which must be answered if we are to legitimize this oldest of professions. What of unionization? Perhaps a political action group...I propose CROTCH (Credentialed Registered Order of Theraputic Caressing and Handling) as a catchy acronym. I think it could catch on.

This could quickly hit the gutter (too late, you say?) so I suppose I will quit while I'm ahead. (Yes, feel free to have another Beavis And Butthead moment now.)

In today's News From The Motherland...a singing star helps out...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8259388.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Back To The Grind...

2009-09-14T23:42:00.000-07:00

Day 24: Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

This week represents a much-needed return to what passes for normalcy in my life. Tomorrow I have two performances of Anything Is Possible at Vulcan museum, and Thursday I return to VHHS for a day of subbing.

So...there it is. Tomorrow's post will be longer, I promise. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown promises budget cuts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8255938.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

TV

2009-09-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

Day 23: Singin' In The Rain...Again...

When flipping through channels, as I usually, do, I am consistently amazed at how many people apparently think that someone with the secrets to making billions of dollars (while doing nothing) would actually sell that knowledge for three easy payments of $29.95. If I had that secret, I wouldn't tell a soul, and I would quietly and without fanfare, become disgustingly wealthy.

It also amazes me at how horribly most networks butcher old movies to make room for these commercials...but that's another rant for another time.

In today's News From The Motherland...Tokyo cracks down on subway groping...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8254389.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Beer, Beer, Beer

2009-09-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

Day 22: A long time ago, way back in history,
When all there was to drink was nothin' but cups o' tea,
Along came a man by the name of Charley Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops...
(From the English drinking song, Beer Beer Beer.)

I like beer. No, scratch that...I love beer. I love the smell, the taste, and the sensation of holding a frosty mug/can/bottle in my hand. I like expensive foo-foo beer, and I like cheap PBR or Schaeffer. I like imports, and I like domestic. I am a fan of (in the words of my good friend and philosopher Brian "Skippy" Kidd) of an ice-cold barley pop.

A beer buzz is different from the feeling one gets from wine or a cocktail (both of which I hold in high regard, of course.) It brings to mind the tiddly feeling enjoyed on a chilly Christmastime evening in college, strolling the campus with one's true love (of the week) after quaffing a few at a holiday party. At other times, it conjures memories of lazy summer afternoons fishing or sitting at an outdoor concert. Beer is arguably the most sociable of all adult beverages. While I am sure I have enjoyed a beer solo on more than one occasion, the mere mention of it suggests conviviality and a jocularly communal spirit. When a 12-pack and ice chest meet, a gathering of friends is likely to follow...

I prefer draft beer, but bottled/canned is also quite good.

When I was in my early twenties, I spent a delightful summer in Manteo, North Carolina, performing in the outdoor drama The Lost Colony. Manteo is a cozy little town, one of two nestled on tiny Roanoake Island, on NC's Outer Banks. (Just for the record, the other town is called Wanchese, named, as was Manteo, for a famous Native American tribal leader.) One of the delights of Manteo was (and I suppose remains) The Weeping Radish Brewery, which served up gargantuan steins of freshly-brewed beer that was about as tasty as any I have ever sampled. The Weeping Radish was a popular place, particularly around payday.

There was once a rather inexpensive and (presumably) indelicate little brew known as Frothingslosh, which was quite popular in the early 1960's, if memory serves. My hero, the great Jim Backus, provided the voice-over for a series of commercials which happily observed "Oh my gosh! It's Frothingslosh!" It was also marketed as the only beer "with the foam on the bottom," which simply meant that the labels were applied upside down to the bottles and cans. Marketing is a fine thing...

This essay must now draw to a close, as the beer I was drinking whilst writing has oddly evaporated, leaving me with an empty can. Steps must be taken to remedy this ghastly turn of events...

In today's News From The Motherland...a forgotten treasure uncovered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8252978.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Rainy Look At Art

2009-09-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

Day 21: Singin' In The Rain...

Well, the plan for Lovey and me this evening is to have dinner with the Von Redlichs, (good friends from Tuscaloosa) and then to hit ArtWalk, which is a sort of art show/street fair here in Bham. So far, the weather has been capricious at best. I started the day in jeans, switched to shorts, went back to jeans and a jacket, and am now hot again...yes, we have gone from hot to cool to hot to cool and now back to hot, all in one day. No wonder everyone is sick. 'Tis the season to be contagious...

I do hope ArtWalk is not rained out. I also think the asshole senator who yelled at the president is an asshole, just in case you were wondering. It is his constitutional right to be a walking talking rectum, and I resepect that right, but it does not alter his basic constitution...

In today's News From The Motherland...pig races!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8251527.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Back On Track

2009-09-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

Day 20: I have the best friends in the world.

Having taken another (hopefully understandable to my readers) two-day hiatus, I am now completely back on track. I had assumed after Monday's posting, all would be back to semi-normal, but how mistaken I was! As unpleasant as it may sound, I would encourage everyone to make as many funeral plans as possible while still living. I had no idea it took so much planning and decision-making in an extremely short time.

At any rate, my dad's funeral was extremely nice, if such an adjective can be applied. The clergy and florist and all the dozens of others who helped were outstanding, and it was well-attended. He was given a first-class sendoff, which is exactly what he would have wanted. Many many thanks to all my friends who called, emailed, came to the viewing and/or funeral, and just generally rallied around. I love you all, and thank you.

Now...looking ahead, I am eager to get started on rehearsal for Dames At Sea, which will begin in a couple of weeks. There is also Santa In Space at BCT, in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony. Toss in a couple of Vulcan performances and an installment or two of Politically Incorrect Cabaret, and it looks like the fall will be pretty full theatrically.

Speaking of theatrics, The Trial Of Larry Langford begs to be musicalized, and I think my friend Debbie Buie is working on it right now. I do hope Sherman Helmsley will be available for the title role. If the guy who played the prosecuting attorney in My Cousin Vinny is still alive, he would make a good Jim Parkman...perhaps the Jabba The Hutt puppet for John Katapodis?

In today's News From The Motherland...continued debate over global warming...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8249668.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Food, Glorious Food...

2009-09-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

Day 19: "Anyone's entitled to be ugly but some people abuse the privilege." - Benny Hill

Today has been a day of huge feasting, which is to be expected, I suppose. There have been SO many sweet and wonderful people bringing food to my mother's house, and I don't want to insult anyone by omission, so I will just say THANK YOU to everyone who has come. It has been most appreciated.

I have been contemplating the motivation behind bringing food when someone dies. I suppose the basic goal is to save the family from having to worry about cooking or going out to eat...but I wonder if it doesn't go deeper than that. Food is symbolic, of course, of life. Is the unspoken message "life must go on?" Is there some spiritual "feeding the body feeds the soul" philosophy here? Or is it simply one of those kindnesses that have become so ritualized that nobody really knows the origin?

...or are people just essentially nice, good, and caring?

I'm opting for the latter. Any cynicsm I ever had about the basic goodness of Man (capital deliberate) has evaporated over the past few days.

In today's News From The Motherland...Sudan shows a remarkable moment of sanity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8244339.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Hail To The Chief

2009-09-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

Day 18: Please, don't squeeze the Charmin.

I wish I had fifty kids today, so I could sign fifty permission forms allowing my children to hear the president's speech. The actions of the reactionary right continue to mystify me...and no, I am not being a hypocrite. If George W. Bush had prepared an address to the children of America, I would have said that the kids should hear it. Politics aside, no reasonable person can honestly think that a sitting president would say something inappropriate in a speech being broadcast to millions of schoolchildren. (Cue the sigh and eye roll...)

Not much else to report. Just a short political rant today.

In today's News From The Motherland...Venice lauds Pixar.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8241282.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Wet And Squishy

2009-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

Day 17: Life goes on.

Today's title sounded more like an advertisement for a family-themed water park or a pair of secondary mischeif-making characters in a 70's sitcom...but, alas, it was simply a reference to the weather. It has been rainy today, but it's been pleasant. I sometimes enjoy a couple of days of steady, constant light rainfall. A crashing thunderstorm is exciting, but generally short-lived, whereas a heavy sprinkle may go on for hours and days. It's excellent napping weather.

My mother, my sister and I have gone into full-swing preparation mode for my dad's funeral. I have, of course, heard countless people talk about how complicated and involved the planning process is, but I always assumed that to be some sort of situational hyperbole...I mean come on, how difficult can it be to make a couple of phone calls and simple decisions?

Needless to say, my uppance has come for that little touch of hauteur.

It will certainly all get done, but I am now among the countless who will nod sympathetically at the recently bereaved and mumble some vague comment about how tough it is to make all the required arrangements. We have played divide and conquer on the event, and my main task has been handling things with the church. While everyone there has been wonderfully helpful and kind, it's just the sheer magnitude of the information one has to collect in such a short time that seems overwhelming....what's the last name of his friend who agreed to be a pallbearer?...what scripture reading would we like?...how many pews will be required for the family?...Sweet Mother Of God, I don't usually ponder this many questions in an hour, and now they all need to be answered on the spot in rapid succession... at one point I thought about simply shouting out random nonsense answers...orange! Seventeen! Photosynthesis! Henry V! It would have given the church staff something to talk about at lunch, at least... (btw, everything did get handled, and painlessly. If you ever have to execute a complicated task at a sad time, you couldn't be in better hands than those at Cathedral Church of the Advent. My fondest thanks to them.)

On other subjects, I have noticed that football season seems to have begun. I am sure I will go to a few parties this season, but I truly couldn't care less about the game. As a southern male, I am supposed to have the sports gene, but I just don't. Even stranger is the fact that I am a southern male who is also a graduate of The University Of Alabama, that football-mad elysium for those whose greatest dream is to attend a four-year sports bacchanal with an occasional class tossed in. Don't get me wrong...I love my alma mater, and I got an excellent education and had lots of fun. I just never understood the thrill behind sitting and watching 22 people lining up and crashing into each other in contest over the ability to run with a small ball across a grassy lawn towards an oddly-shaped giant fork.

I am, however, in a very tiny minority, and I am aware of that. ;-)

An irony of not complete insignificance dwells in the fact that aside from the game (or match or meet or whatever) I usually very much enjoy most of the activity surrounding a sporting event. I love football parties, provided there are enough party-goers rotating into the kitchen or bar area to talk to me. I love tailgate parties, especially if the weather is cool. I have been to one professional baseball game, and I felt like I was at a huge amusement park, which was delightful. I even like the sound of a football game being broadcast over the radio, which reminds me of Saturday afternoons in the fall when my parents would listen to the radio broadcasts of those UA games that were not televised. Sports stadium food? Love it! Slightly mushy hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts and beer...what's not to like? I love the feeling of togetherness that comes with visiting good friends during a televised game and sitting together around the tv. Above all, I love an excuse to drink at 11am and not look trashy. It's just watching the event itself that puts me to sleep. Oh well, it's not like I've never been the odd one before... ;-)

In today's News From The Motherland...a quest for truth in cigarette branding.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8239028.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Non-Depressing Retrospective

2009-09-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

Day 16: Not the happiest of days. This, however, is a happy post.

If there are any among my handful of readers who are keeping up with the dates of postings, I will confess to them that I did, indeed, skip a day of posting on my 365-day marathon. Given the circumstances, I think you will all give me a pass this once.

My dad passed away early this morning, just after midnight. My mother and sister were with him when he died, and assured me that it was peaceful, relaxed, and all the other things one seeks in a "good" death. While we are all very sad, of course, all of the cliches about relief at the end of great suffering can and must be applied. He had been basically immobile for a couple of months, the result of which was tremendous discomfort. He was (due to a combination of ever-lessening oxygen to the brain and massive painkillers) either somewhat disoriented or asleep for the last couple of weeks of his life. We will miss him, but he was ready to go.

I sincerely hope that it does not seem disrespectful or cold to compose a blog post on a day like this, but it just seems like the thing to do. A wonderful, loving, funny, delightful soul is gone, and if I can communicate just a bit of his essence to even one person...well, I will have done a good thing.

For those who never met my dad (called "Bud" by his children, his wife, and everyone who knew him...a slightly truncated version of his childhood nickname, "Buddy Boy,") he was an extremely warm person. While almost a bit shy, he genuinely enjoyed getting to know people, particularly my and my sister's friends. He wasn't just polite and detatched...he asked them questions, honestly listened to the answers, and remembered a little point of reference for everyone he met. Even if he was only able to toss in something along the lines of "your mother is a nurse, right?" or "I remember you...you like baseball," he was always able to personalize any subsequent meeting with a new acquaintance. I am happy to say that my friends always liked him.

Guests brought home to my parents' house always left slightly fatter, a fact that always delighted my dad. For some bizarre reason he took great interest in what people ate. If you were around him more than once or twice, chances are you were asked what you had for breakfast or lunch that day, dinner the night before, etc. Again,this was no mere courtesy question. He was, for whatever reason, honestly fascinated with the subject. He might just nod and say a word or two of admiration/approval, or he may ask detailed questions about how whatever it was tasted/was prepared/etc. I was simultaneously delighted and perplexed by this.

Kids were important to my dad, and he had a very soft and tender heart when it came to them. Although he was definitely thrifty by nature, the one cause that would always have him reaching for his wallet was needy children. He gave to Toys For Tots, The Salvation Army's Christmas efforts, and that sort of thing, but more telling still were the numerous times I would see him slip a few bills to one of his employees who may have been having a tough go of it, telling them to "get a little surprise for Jimmy" (or Suzie, or Billy, or Vladimir, or whatever the child's name happened to be.) After the recipient walked away, he would usually say something very vague along the lines of "they don't have much, and that little kid needs some toys" or "bless his heart, that poor fellow works like a horse, and they don't have much, but they have a little girl at home and she needs something nice." That's the kind of person he was. (Incidentally, if he said "bless his heart," it wasn't southern shorthand for "as soon as I say this, I can say something hateful." He really wished blessings upon the subject in reference.)

While certainly intelligent and educated, Bud never stopped being himself. I have always thought of my dad as a cross between Buddy Ebsen and Andy Griffith. He was smart, but slightly folksy, with a quick wit that dwelled comfortably within a soft-spoken, gently drawling ease. He was always the perfect gentleman, never once losing his manners (he would sooner have died than to have taken a bite of food before my mother started eating) but never made those around him feel anything but completely relaxed. If I can ever be half as genteel as he was, I will be just fine.

My dad also had a splendid sense of humor. We usually found the same things funny...we were both great fans of Are You Being Served, the 1970's British sitcom set in a department store (clearly meant to depict Harrod's.) It seems so ridiculous to remember this right now, but there was one particular moment where one character told another to "hold himself in readiness" which made us both laugh uncontrollably. (Yes, I came by my eccentricity honestly...) The Three Stooges, Larry McMurtry novels, Soap, and any movie starring Richard Pryor would always crack us up. He also shared my love of comedy arising from the completely random or misplaced. One of his (and my) favorite musicals, Oliver!, tells the story of the cruelly mistreated Oliver Twist. Whenever Oliver asked for more gruel, one or both (usually both) of us would say "greedy little bastard." Laughter would always follow, each of us as amused as we were the 50 times preceeding.

My dad was an outdoorsman, and he loved to fish (a passion which I share) and to hunt (which I do not.) He also enjoyed sports, which I don't. In so many cases, this would be a perfect setup for a bad relationship. In my case, not so...Bud never pushed his interests onto me, nor did he express anything less than a sincere interest in mine. (While I never got him onstage, I did get him into the audience about a bajillion times. :-) He frequently said that you don't "raise" your children as much as you "let them unfold." This was a civilized man.

We both appreciated and enjoyed election years, and my dad had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of 20th century American politics. This shared enthusiasm gave birth to some of the best conversations we ever had. I remember driving home after seeing A Christmas Carol at ASF. Bud had driven from Birmingham to Tuscaloosa (where I lived,) where we had dinner and then rode down to Montgomery together. Driving back in a thick fog, we had to drive very slowly for safety. Somehow we started talking about the Nixon White House, Nixon's pre-Watergate accomplishments, and his (Nixon's) grasp on foreign policy. It was a discussion straight out of Firing Line or McNeil-Lehrer...completely cerebral/intellectual, and with a hint of look-how-smart-we-are.

Five minutes later, we were both laughing at my imitation of a drunken, foul-mouthed Bob Dole cursing out a crowd of reporters. God, his sense of humor...

Bud was a very cautious, calm, "let's think this out clearly" sort of fellow. This quality made his few massive blunders perfectly marvelous. The one which comes immediately to mind is the never-ending backyard fence. Two summers ago, he decided to erect a fence so that his dog could play in the backyard. Fine. Good. So far, normal. Ever the devoted son, I agreed to dig "a little trench" along one side of the yard to level off the ground so that the top of the fence would be level. This was originally sold to me as a two-days-at-the-most project...

Two years later, and still no fence. There is a huge, gaping gash in my parents' backyard. Seriously, it looks like baby Superman's rocket skidded to a halt behind the house. I have moved the square-foot equivalent of Rhode Island in dirt. Three refineries' worth of fence posts have disappeared into the abyss...and the dog still lives in the basement. Oh well, he seems happy there...

I could go on and on, but I won't. If you've read this far, you've gotten the point. My dad is gone, and I am going to miss him like hell, but I am truly grateful for the 39 years I had with him. They were fun, they were happy, and they were interesting. Most of all, I never doubted for one second that I was completely, totally, and unconditionally loved.

No News From The Motherland today. This is Father's Day. :-)

Cheers!
FLT3

Wal-Mart Dreams And Stranger Things...

2009-09-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

Day 15: Fancy Wedgwood can fit in with casual cousins...or so says the newspaper.

Last night I found myself once again at Wal-Mart, the great mecca of all commerce. It was, as usual, a pleasant enough experience. As much as one can point to Wal-Mart as an example of all that is excessive about American culture, I must confess that I, like everyone else, would be lost without it.

Wal-Mart (along with it's upscale cousin, Target) has truly redefined the concept of shopping over the past 25 years or so. While convenience stores and department stores certainly existed in the pre-WM era, Sam Walton's brainchild was one of the first megamart shopping arenas. For the first time, one could buy groceries, housewares, plants and automotive supplies under one roof, and at affordable prices. Now that the roster of services offered has expanded to include an optical clinic, various fast-food emporiums (emporii?) and a beauty salon, all Wal-Mart really needs to be a self-contained community is a school system and a hospital. One could arguably live an entire lifetime without leaving Wal-Mart, much like the Chinese boat people who never touch dry land.

When I was a kid, I remember the Saturday shopping trips I used to take with my mother and sister. These were all-day events, which included (usually) a trip to Loveman's (a department store which no longer exists,) Rich's (ditto,) Pizitz (are you spotting a pattern? Perhaps we inadvertently cursed these places somehow) and at least one or two other department stores. We would usually make a pass through the bookstore and sometimes a music shop. There was always a break for lunch somewhere, followed by a visit to the (yes) now-defunct Pizitz Bake Shop for pastries for Sunday morning. All of this can now be accomplished for the most part at Wal-Mart, with the exception of higer-end clothing...but can it really be too long before a couture boutique and/or Brooks Brothers outlet opens in WM? I wouldn't be surprised...

Which begs the question: has the convenience of the Wal-Mart/Target (et al) era homogenized some of the fun out of a shopping trip? As is usually the case, has efficiency and order somehow robbed the experience of a certain charm? The family dinner table has given way to microwave and/or takeout food eaten whenever the individual's schedule will allow, and the daily newspaper gasps out a dying breath at the hands of up-to-the-minute internet news feeds...can shopping as recreation be on the decline? I certainly hope not.

On the other hand, as long as there are people who need dog food, Liz Taylor cologne and/or a John Grisham novel at 3am, Wal-Mart will ever serve a purpose.

In today's News From The Motherland...the Mini provides jobs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8235025.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

When Will The Madness End...?

2009-09-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

Day 14: Fish don't fry in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill.

Well, friends, the news is out. Those bastions of fertility and right-wing thought, The Duggars, are having another baby. Say it ain't so, I know...as wild as it sounds, the tv reality show that was once called 17 Kids And Counting, and then 18 Kids And Counting, will soon have to add 19 to the title.

Patriarch (and clearly randy old bastard) Jim Bob Duggar just can't keep his hands off the luscious Michelle, with her fundamentalist hair and ankle-length skirts. Then again, what man could resist? There's just something about her, I suppose...maybe it's her rapier wit and intellect...

The Duggars have several children who are clearly destined to go bad (including a daughter who's on the fast train to slutsville and a son who looks as if he might enjoy starting fires,) a few that may or may not be brain-damaged, and at least one that is already pretty blatantly homosexual. These are the fun, entertaining ones who will most likely grow up to become adults you would want to invite to a party.

On the other end of the spectrum, several of the litter have obviously upended the Kool-Aid glass and come back asking for more. Holy-rolly fundamentalism seems to appeal to them, and they look and act like the mealy little prats who always made hall monitor. These are the uptight, priggish ones you really want to slap.

I have been gently reprimanded on more than one occasion for my attitude surrounding this circus of procreative arts, and I really don't mean to be unkind. I obviously watch the show (even if it is largely to make fun of it) and I must confess...I enjoy it. Yes, it may be akin to the enjoyment one gets from watching a car crash, but still...

Just for the record, The Duggars DO seem happy, and Jim Bob clearly rules with a velvet glove around the iron fist. He reminds you of the goofy but well-meaning hick at work who really wants to be liked, so you begrudgingly become his friend...and then realize that he is oddly likeable. Michelle is just too damn exhausted from shooting out kids to be much more than vaguely complacent, and most of the kids are amusing in one way or another.

I think what bothers me is the whole "Quiverfull" concept, to which the Duggars clearly subscribe. In short, it is a movement (popularized by appalachian fundamentalists,) which basically says to have as many kids as possible so they (the kids) can all grow up and vote Republican. No, I'm not kidding. If the Duggars keep going at this rate, they can influence Arkansas politics for years to come...

Oh well, they seem to be able to afford a houseful of kids, so good for them...it just seems contra naturam to have children younger than one's grandchildren. What's sad is that this is not the weirdest thing about these people...they condemn dancing as sinful, but mom and dad are clearly lust-driven sex maniacs with an Aqua Net fetish. It's amusing yet unsettling...and by the way, they are cerebral sophisticates compared to their friends, the Bates Family. I won't say the Bateses are inbred, but they missed a good chance. Imagine an Amish family without the old-world charm and more irritating accents.

Tune in next time...

In today's News From The Motherland...no cell phones in the pub.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/8232798.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Circle Completed

2009-08-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

Day 13: Mad Dogs And Englishmen Go Out In The Noonday Sun.

A disclaimer for anyone who might read this. IT IS NOT DEPRESSING, I PROMISE. The way today's reflection starts out might lead one to believe that a tear-jerker approaches, but that's not the case.

Today I spent a great deal of time at my parents' house. Many of you know that my dad is in terrible health, and has been for some time. Well over a year ago, his doctor said he only had a couple of months left, so we have had him much longer than anticipated, which is truly a gift from God. At any rate, his condition is quite bad, and he's basically bedridden.

One of the challenges we face in dealing with dad is his unwillingness to eat. He seldom takes more than a bite or two of anything, and eating half a bowl of soup is cause for celebration. Today, out of nowhere, he said he thought he would eat some boiled shrimp. I beat a hasty path to The Fish Market, and said shrimp were procured. By the time I got back, he was a little groggy but still slightly hungry. To facilitate matters, I told him I would peel them and all he had to do was enjoy his lunch. Here's where the flashback begins...

When I was maybe 7 or 8, I remember dad coming home from work one day with a large plastic bag full of boiled shrimp he had bought at some sort of fund-raiser (Lion's Club, maybe?) and asking me if I would like to have some. At this point in my life I was a fan of fried shrimp, but boiled...not so sure. After a little coaxing, I agreed to try one, and was immediately a fan.

Never having been the most dextrous of kids, I soon found myself struggling with the peeeling process. Ever indulgent, dad got a little white bowl that I used to eat cereal from (wow, the things you remember) and peeled about a dozen, dropping the ready-to-eat bites into the bowl for me. I can't tell you a single thing we discussed, but I remember realizing(even at such a young age) that this was one of those really sweet and special moments in life. I can still see the crackers, tobasco, and cocktail sauce on the table, surrounded by newspaper and shrimp peelings, a large lemon slice dominating the center of the table. I can still smell the pungent scent of crab boil. I can still hear the wind blowing in the trees. (We had to eat on the patio, as my mother is violently "allergic" to the smell of anything that once swam. :-)

This little tableau dominated my thoughts as I made dad's meal easy to eat today. Now, if this was a tear-jerky "movie of the week" scenario, I would have left the room, leaned against the wall and cried piteously. However, the exact opposite took place. I felt happy.

Yes, believe it or not, I felt happy.

Those of us who are lucky enough to have long-lived parents will eventually face the role of caretaker to they who once took care. It's natural, appropriate, and the way of things. My parents have done a tremendous amount for my sister and me, and we're all too glad to give something back. Is it fun? No. Do I wish my dad could be the same funny, vibrant, happy, playful guy he was even 10 years ago? Absolutely.

Do I gladly and happily give back what little I can to a person who, patriarchy aside, was also one of my very best friends? Without a doubt.

Enough of that...I promised it wasn't sad, and I think that promise was accurate. If you found it sad, send in a refund request and you can have your money back. ;-)

In today's News From The Motherland...drunken teens run wild.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8227443.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Rainy Sunday

2009-08-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

Day 12:
IRVING: Now, I may need your assistance in giving this shot. Are you by any chance a registered nurse?
LILA: No...but I used to be a junkie.
IRVING: Would it endanger your amateur status if I asked you to use a sterilized needle?
(from Blake Edwards' brilliant Hollywood spoof, S.O.B.)

Today has been wet, rainy and grey. While that might be a perfect prescription for depression if it happened every day, it has actually been quite cozy and cheerful. I always feel close to The Motherland when it rains, although I have spent quite a few beautiful, sunny days in Mother England. Motivated by the gloom as well as my anglophilia, I have had Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd on a constant loop while I have done various things such as cleaning the kitchen, folding clothes, etc. It's been quite nice to hear songs about murder and cannibalism while doing domestic chores.

In today's News From The Motherland...a well-attended art show.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/bristol/somerset/8230301.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Randomness Redux

2009-08-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

Day 11: Mind The Gap.

I am passingly certain that I have titled at least one previous post "Randomness," hence the title of today's post, which I can already tell will be somewhat...well...random.

It is good to let the mind wander sometimes. While I can't say that I have created any great works of literature whilst (I know, it's affected, but I love the word "whilst") just letting my focus roam, I do believe that it has helped nurture my creativity. Free-flowing rambling can do that...

Today's newspaper has the usual assortment of cute pet photos in the LifeStyle section. Every Sunday the sweet little animals are there. There's something comforting in that.

Speaking of the newspaper, the crossword puzzles are getting too simple. I don't require a Sunday New York Times level of challenge, but neither do I want to finish in five minutes.

While (ok, I'll indulge myself) whilst still a huge fan of Jim & Nick's, I have been slightly disappointed in my last couple of trips to the bbq mecca. They appear to be getting a bit lax in re the basting of the meat in sauce while it cooks, leaving the meal as simply smoked pork with sauce poured on at serving time. REAL bbq afficionados know that the slow-cooked process involves much application of sauce during the process. The little scorched bits of end meat and caramelized sauce add immeasurably to the flavor. For the record, however, the coconut cream pie remains brilliant.

When I strike my fortune (however that may come to pass) I would love to have a driver. I know that sounds ridiculously self-indulgent, and will most likely never happen, but one of the greatest luxuries of which I can conceive is to have someone to drive me wherever I need to go. I really don't like to drive very much. I am also bad at it, as the multiple dings and scratches on my car can attest.

It's been raining a lot lately, which may portend the arrival of an early fall, which would suit me fine. I used to hate cool weather, but over the past couple of years, it has truly grown on me.

...enough randomness for now. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...the Notting Hill Carnival begins!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8228270.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

He's A Lumberjack And He's Okay...

2009-08-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Day 10: Ma! Ma! Where's my Pa? Gone to The White House! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
- (Slogan referencing President Grover Cleveland, who openly acknowledged and supported an illegitimate child.)

On one of the seemingly limitless excursions I make to Wal-Mart, that great temple of All That Is Needed Immediately, I ran across a DVD of Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different, which has always been one of my favorite films. (The fact that it was in the $4.95 bin sort of surprised me...I assumed that everyone shared my anglophiliac tendencies and love of '70's-era comedy. Go figure.) I bought the movie, took it home, and somewhat absent-mindedly started it playing while I puttered. I was vaguely aware of the passing of several well-known (and funny) Python sketches, and was enjoying listening in a somewhat passive sense. However, my ears soon perked up and I had to stop and watch The Lumberjack Song.

For the uninitiated, here it is. Watch and then continue reading...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg

Hilarious, isn't it? I still crack up at this song every time I hear it.

In the repeated re-watchings of the song over the fifteen or so minutes after it first played, I found myself realizing just how powerful a memory trigger music can be. When I first discovered Monty Python as a teenager, I had a cassette (yes, I'm THAT old) of Python routines that I kept in my car tape player. I probably played that tape a thousand times, and I will always associate certain Monty Python sketches with the late 1980's. Just hearing the familiar chords at the start of the song will remind me of that time, and of my first car (which also smelled strongly of Polo Green cologne, which, in the fashion of many young men of the day, I splashed on liberally and with a heavy hand. More on smells as memory triggers later.)

Just for the record, I also love The Philosopher's Song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1MgCV6uGuc&feature=related

Knights Of The Round Table...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0&feature=related

Every Sperm Is Sacred...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8&feature=related

and The Universe Song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWVshkVF0SY&feature=related

...and many, many others. The intelligence of the lyrics is a joy, and the humor is first-rate. Enjoy the links!

In today's News From The Motherland...a prisoner extends his furlough.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/8228400.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

What A Hoot

2009-08-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

Day 9: Coffee is your friend.

Tonight I went with my good friend Goldstein to Hooter's for dinner. While pretty much everything on the menu is fried and/or full of sugar, the food tastes good and the atmosphere is fun. Yes, Hooter's remains one of the last bastions of blatant non-PC-ism, with waitresses in hot pants and tight t-shirts, and countless examples of trite "hooter as euphemism for female breast" humor adorning the t-shirts, wall plaques, and menu. What's actually quite interesting is how...well...innocent the place actually is.

While Hooter's obviously wishes to appeal to the frat-boy crowd (a crowd which swills copious amounts of beer, coincidentally) the clientele tends to include quite a few families. Kids are frequently seen at Hooter's, and I do believe birthday parties are even offered. I have seen plenty of middle-aged couples enjoying the heart attack inducing bill of fare, the women seemingly unfazed by the gentle chauvanism that prevails throughout the room. The waitresses seem to take it all with a grain of salt, maintaining a good humored but not inappropriate familiarity with the customers. I have never seen any misbehavior at a Hooter's, which bespeaks volumes...

Hooter's appears to reflect our American obsession with sexuality repressed. The sophomoric humor and oddly wholesome atmosphere seem to legitimize the playfully horny theme, allowing for a dash of naughtiness offset by childlike silliness. One can easily see why Hooter's has never spread to Europe. The Europeans have a much more grown-up and relaxed attitude towards sex, and would see no need to try and blend it with a modifying quasi-innocence.

...or maybe the Parisians and Viennese just don't like greasy wings and fried pickles.

In today's News From The Motherland...a dust-up over a comment from Madonna...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8225989.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

2009-08-26T18:55:00.001-07:00

Day 8: In The Jungle, The Quiet Jungle, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

As all both of my readers may have noticed, I have semi-established a pattern of beginning the day's commentary with a non-sequitir. A strange little comment, unrelated to the subject at hand will generally follow the day's count. Today we vary from that pattern, given the somber nature of the subject. The sleeping lion is, indeed, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy.

Given my politics, it is probably no great surprise that I am in mourning. Ted Kennedy was duly dubbed "The Liberal Lion" during his tenure in The United States Senate. Upon his passing, only two senators in the history of that august institution had served for more years than Ted. He was a fixture, an icon, and a beacon to those of us who embrace the politics of the left.

I won't digress into partisanism tonight. That is for another time, and God knows Ted had his faults and excesses. However, wherever there was a cause in favor of the little man, the oppressed, or the weak and erring, Ted was leading the charge. Whatever his issues, this son of tremendous privilege and wealth never stopped pushing for a better life for those among us who (for whatever reason) fell through the cracks. His compassion will be his legacy.

Rest in peace, Teddy. You did a good job.

In today's News From The Motherland... Mr. Brown honors Senator Kennedy.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8221801.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Comedy Tonight

2009-08-25T08:00:00.001-07:00

Day 7: Fall is in the air.

I suppose a more apropos title for today's musings would be "Comedy Last Night," but then the reference to the song would fall apart. At any rate, last night was open mic comedy night at The Barking Kudu, and Lovey & I went to see our friend Jack Roberts perform his routine. While Jack was very funny, as were a couple of others, the overall impression I got was that the new generation of up-and-coming comedians (at least the ones doing open mic on Mondays at the Kudu) seem to think that mere repetition of profanities will pass for comedy.

Lest I appear hypocritical, I will freely admit that I can have a potty mouth. I also enjoy crude humor, but there is a BIG difference in vulgar comedy and plain vulgarity. Richard Pryor used every word in the book in his act, and some of his material was absolutely filthy, but it was hilarious because of the strong (sub)text beneath the language and subject matter. When there's nothing funny in the routine, however, tossing in a few dozen GDMFs does very little to help.

One of the things that impressed me about the good comics (Jack included) was the obvious preparation that they put into their acts. Stand-up is deceptively simple...like improv, it has to appear effortless, yet requires a huge amount of technique and talent. It seemed last night that there were several people who literally just wandered up onstage and started talking about whatever came to mind.

Not that they asked my opinion, but I think The Barking Kudu could actually turn this into something quite good. Although it is technically "open mic," there should probably be a screening process of sorts just to weed out the 20-year-old college kids who think mumbling about sex and drinking and saying f**k 300 times in one sentence equals inspired comedy.

In today's News From The Motherland... a mayor has underwear issues...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lancashire/8219619.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

I Want A Bulldog

2009-08-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

Day 6: Collect $200 for passing Go.

It will come as no great shock to all several of my readers that I want a bulldog. To be perfectly clear, I want two bulldog puppies, to be named Churchill and Atlee or Thurston and Lovey, depending on the day. That is to say that on different days I envision them as having either set of names. Their names, once set, will not change from day to day.

Bulldogs are a sort of love-em-or-hate-em breed. Yes, they are celebrated for their flatulence, they are frequently spittle-flecked due to an alarming tendency to slobber, coupled with ownership of a tongue that usually seems to outsize a small automobile, and they require a tremendous amount of care and upkeep. Fine. I can live with all of that.

One only has to look into the scowling maw of a fussy bulldog or to gaze upon the toothy, open-mouthed smile of a joyous one to understand just how adorable these creatures can be. It may sound strange to describe their wrinkled jowls, squat bodies, and overall fireplug appearance as beautiful, but that's exactly how I see it.

For the moment, I live in an apartment which is much too small for a large dog, and Lovey has yet to completely warm to the idea of adding another pet or two to her household, which already includes a dog and a cat. That notwithstanding, I adore these sweet, pugnacious, delightful animals, and I have no doubt that one (or more) will have a place in my life at some point in time. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland... a new Olympic stamp.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8218667.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Ten Times Your Money...

2009-08-23T23:22:00.000-07:00

Day 5: It's interesting to note that in today's television climate The Brady Bunch would not be a large enough family to qualify for a reality show.

I thought I had struck it rich today. I was given my change at the Piggly Wiggly and among the coins was a 1944 Mercury dime. Visions of a coin collector offering thousands fueled my avaricious fantasies. I was going to make my fortune on a stroke of luck...having been handed a priceless coin as change...

After consulting Google, I now know that the coin is worth a staggering TEN TIMES it's face value! (Which is a dollar. ;-)

Lesson for the day, kids...it may sound like a great deal, multiplying your money by a factor of ten, but if all you start with is a dime, it's not that impressive.

In today's News From The Motherland...UK casualties in Afghanistan continue to climb...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8203711.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

FLAT

2009-08-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

Day 4: Keep On The Sunny Side.

Today I had a flat tire. I don't recall the last time I had one, but it's been a while. After pondering the cosmic injustice of my having been afflicted with a problem about whose solution I know very little, I started the process of getting it repaired. That will be accomplished by tomorrow. On Monday, I re-join AAA. (Note to those who know me...take careful notice that the letter "A" appears three times.)

In today's News From The Motherland...BT discontinues recruitment plan...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8216762.stm?lsm

Cheers!
FLT3

Rain

2009-08-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

Day 3: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?

Last night brought a somewhat torrential downpour, along with the thunder and lightning that make summer storms so glorious. Having always loved thunderstorms, I spent as much time as possible standing on my balcony, watching the sheets of water billow their way across the sky. There's always a feeling of anticipation that comes with a good storm...a hunch that something grand is about to happen.

Rain is something that has always fascinated me. I remember as a very small child rigging a garden hose to the top of my swing set so that I could stand beneath the spray and hold an umbrella. The fact that my parents found this behavior neither strange nor out of character should probably tell me something...

Sleeping during a thunderstorm comes very naturally to me. Of course, sleeping under any conditions has never been too difficult for me, either.

Enough about rain...it's just nice that we are having some. Maybe it will cool things off...I used to hate cold weather with a passion, but over the past few years, I have grown to appreciate it.

On a completely unrelated topic, a big shout-out to my good friend Darrell Cartwright, who posted the first comment yesterday, following my absence from blogging. Confirmed readers...1 and counting... :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...chicanery surrounding festival tickets.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/8214352.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Shrew Tamed...

2009-08-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

Day 2: So Far So Good.

Last night Lovey and I went to final dress rehearsal for Park Players' The Taming Of The Shrew, which is directed by a very good friend who invited me to come and be part of a small test audience. It was a very enjoyable, well-acted show, and I recommend it highly to any and all. Particularly impressive to me was the pacing of the show, which never slowed down. Shakespeare can become quite slow and plodding without proper pacing, and this group keeps the show moving to the unheard beat of a brisk metronome.

Tonight will take me not to the streets of Petruchio's Verona, but back to Grovers' Corners, NH, where we have 4 remaining performances of Our Town. Several friends will be there tonight, and we've all had a few nights off, so the performance should be fresh and energetic. I have truly grown to appreciate this little play which has been the bane of countless high school drama clubs. The reason for this turnaround is simple. I had never before seen anyone older than a college student play these roles, and there are points that can not be made about adulthood by those who have never experienced it. Seeing the characters come to life through the performances of age-appropriate actors has cast the entire script in a new light. I have enjoyed the experience.

In today's News From The Motherland... a crackdown on free drink night.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/8212870.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Marathon Begins With The First Step...

2009-08-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome back, old readers (all five of you) and greetings to what I hope will be many new followers of my random musings! As some of you know, I have kept this blog in a very on-again-off-again manner for several years now. Well, under the influence of Julia and Julie (or is it Julie and Julia?) I am making a vow to blog every day for a year.

Do I promise anything amazing? Not at all. Will there be a running theme? Absolutely not. Will each day continue to feature the oh-so-beloved "News From The Motherland" segment? You can count on it!
For the newcomers, expect the following:

.Utterly random observations on utterly inconsequential (but hopefully interesting) everyday items and occurrences.
. Political ranting with a decidedly liberal bent.
. News of the various goings-on in the Birmingham, AL, theatre community.
. The occasional soul-baring emotional diatribe.
. Many references to "Gilligan's Island," England, Musical Theatre, Witty Things Said By My Friends, and Current Events Of The Day.

...I hope you will all enjoy and comment as often as you like. If I know someone is actually reading, I might even make it 365 days!

And now... in today's News From The Motherland, a crackdown on fund-raising "chuggers" in the London streets...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8210496.stm

FLT3

After A Long Absence...

2009-02-24T09:21:00.001-08:00

I am finally knocking the dust off my blog. Apologies to those five or six readers out there...I will (as I always do after slacking off a bit) promise to do better in future.

There is much to report...a holiday trip to Venice with Lovey was delightful. Details to come, but photos can be seen on my Facebook page (which is as addictive as crack, btw.) Rehearsals are underway for HARVEY, in which I have been cast as Dr. Chumley. I was not, alas, cast in the Gilligan tour, but c'est la show biz, I suppose...

Tonight should be fun. A group of us are singing in a concert benefitting two good friends of ours. "Lucas & Talia's Love Concert" should be very entertaining, and will hopefully give them a little something extra for their honeymoon and new life together. It's delightfully low-key but organized, and takes itself seriously enough to be good, but still retains a sense of fun.

Subbing today at VHHS. As usual, it's fairly easy, if mundane. I had hoped to catch the BCT production of GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER, which also features several good friends, but will see it later this week.

In today's News From The Motherland... a quaint museum up for sale...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/7907798.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Coming Soon...

2009-01-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

Lots of interesting postings, tales of adventure, breathtaking photographs, witty insight, and seat-perchingly good information about my world...stay tuned...

In todays News From The Motherland...a disrespectful footballer's uppance has come.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/merseyside/7831735.stm

FLT3

An Absent Friend

2008-12-24T10:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas Eve!

As I sit and think over the holiday and anticipate a wonderful Christmas Day tomorrow, my thoughts keep returning to my dear friend, Walter Brown McCord. WB passed away earlier this year, and this is the first Christmas season in over 20 years that has not included a special time with Walter Brown. Usually I would drive down to his home in Greensboro, AL for a visit. WB loved gin, so I would usually have a bottle of Gordon's or Beefeater in hand when I arrived, and we would toast the season together.

WB was in his late 70's, and had lived (as the saying goes) a rich, full, life. His stories were enchanting and engaging, and he had met, befriended, or known almost every major celebrity of the 1960's. His voice and delivery were as distinctive as they could be, and his soul was one of the sweetest and most kindly that I have ever known.

The point of all of this is to encourage my readers (both of you...hee hee hee) to appreciate and enjoy the time you have with those around you. Cherish it, hang onto it, and love it. It is, in the end, all too fleeting. I would gladly give back every Christmas gift I have ever received if it meant I could spend one more Christmas visit with Walter Brown McCord.

In today's News From The Motherland...smart monkeys! :-)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7797776.stm

God Bless Us, Every One!
FLT3

Happy Christmas Eve!

Another Picture and Update

2008-12-23T05:54:00.001-08:00

Here we have another look at the cast and crew of The 1940's Radio Hour, which closed last Sunday at VST. I had a wonderful time doing the show, but have enjoyed having a couple of nights to relax before Christmas. There is talk of re-mounting the show next year, so I may be returning to the "Mutual Manhattan Variety Cavalcade" relatively soon.

On the CenterStage front, we are alive and looking optimistically forward. Some fairly substantial changes are underway, but overall I think we have at least started down the path to solving some of our problems. Time will tell, and the patient is still on life support, but for the moment at least, we're still forging ahead.

I continue to "hold" waiting to hear about the Gilligan's Island tour. I have not heard anything, but I am keeping my hopes high. Every day without a "thanks for auditioning, but..." is a good day. Maybe today will bring good news...

Must be off to finish up some Christmas shopping. Fa-la-la-la-la...

In today's News From The Motherland... a facelift for the Ashmolean.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/7796875.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

1940's Radio Hour

2008-12-17T15:15:00.000-08:00

Just a pic from THE 1940's RADIO HOUR, which has been running the past two weekends at VST. This is of Zoe (Debbie Mielke), Clifton (FLT3) and Pops (Sam Chalker.) We have had a great time doing the show, and look forward to the third weekend coming up. We got a very good review from The Birmingham News, which has led to good houses.

On the CenterStage front, we are in a world of hurt. This week has brought serious discussion of canceling the rest of this season and trying to raise money to move ahead in a year or so. HOWEVER, several wonderful individuals have said that they are willing to try and help us survive, so...fingers are crossed.

In today's News From The Motherland... are you a Spock or a Homer?http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7793369.stm

Cheers!

FLT3

Renewed Optimism...

2008-12-06T11:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally broke down and emailed my friend Lloyd Schwartz and inquired about the "Gilligan's Island:The Musical" casting. His response was not exactly what I had hoped for (ie "your script is in the mail,") but the show has not yet been cast and I am, apparently, still in consideration. My optimism remains intact, and I sincerely thank everyone who has sent prayers, good wishes, and crossed fingers!

"The 1940's Radio Hour" opened this weekend to a good review. I am a bit concerned about the fact that tonight's performance competes with SEC Championship Saturday, but maybe we will have a good house.

"A CenterStage Christmas Celebration" also opened this weekend. It has been a logistical challenge, with a large cast, etc. but I am hopeful that it will do well.

If that wasn't enough theatre talk, "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" (which I directed) opened at BCT this week. All seems to be going well on that front.

In keeping with the recent "Gilligan" theme, I have been searching for new jewels online...I have managed to locate the original cartoon theme song (this time in English, not German.) :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvTDDta0rUs

In today's News From The Motherland...good deeds from biker Santa(s)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/7769327.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

More Stag...

2008-11-25T08:48:00.000-08:00

On this Thanksgiving week, I am thankful for many things, one of which is...

TWO NEWLY-DISCOVERED MR. MAGOO STAG BEER COMMERCIALS FROM THE 50's!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLNhH2F3mb0

Enjoy! I am hopeful that this latest invocation of the spirit of the late, great Jim Backus will spark some response from the universe on the "Gilligan" tour...when they said "no immediate decisions will be made," I wasn't sure if that meant "not this week" or "not till mid-December." Oh well, I will continue to wait...

In today's News From The Motherland...sardines as protest tools...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/7747873.stm

FLT3

A Fateful Trip, or Shipwrecked Part II

2008-11-19T07:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, I have now rested and recouped after my whirlwind NYC trip (which did, indeed, resemble the voyage of the SS Minnow in the sense of being fraught with mishap.) Here's the basic lowdown on what happened. It's funny now, but was not so much at the time.

After making a mad dash to the Atlanta airport after BCT rehearsal on Thursday, I found myself too late to board the plane. This was aggravating, but not entirely unanticipated, so I got a hotel room near the airport, had a snack and watched tv, and booked a seat on the 6:40am for LaGuardia. The nice little hotel shuttle dropped me off at 5:15am, I checked in, had breakfast at the airport, and nestled into my seat for takeoff.

6:40 - no takeoff.
7:00 - "Ladies and gentlemen, it will be a few more minutes before we depart."
7:25 - "It will be a few more minutes."
7:50 - "LaGuardia is fogged in. Please exit the plane.

At this point, distress is beginning to settle in. I managed to get a 9:30 flight to JFK, which would get me there in just enough time to grab a quick sandwich and take the train into the city to my 1:00 audition.

The 9:30 flight left promptly at 11:05.

Distress has now become a full-blown ulcer. I have now left several messages for the contact person at the auditions (who turned out to be amazingly sweet and understanding) and the thought of an affordable train ride has been tossed out the window. I finally disembark (now at JFK) at 12:52. I jump into a cab, beg the driver to go as fast as possible, and make my third or fourth "I swear, I'm on my way" phone call. I arrive only 25 minutes late, which is bad, but not awful. When I burst through the door of the audition, there is an extremely nice, pleasant-looking lady waiting for me. She introduces herself as Nancy, and says that she has been asked to wait and read Mrs. Howell opposite my Mr.Howell. Great. We have a few minutes to look over the scene, and then we go into the audition area.

I had a chance to share a hello and a hug with Lloyd Schwartz (my friend who wrote the show) and to introduce myself to the accompanist. After singing, I read the scene with Nancy (who made a GREAT Mrs. Howell, by the way) and assumed I was done. To my happy surprise, I was also asked to read for The Professor and The Skipper (guess I'm waaaaay too old for Gilligan) and after a quick "good to see you" with Lloyd, was off on my way.

Did I mention my head shot and resume were in my bag, which I left at the airport? Luckily, I had emailed both of them in to the production team earlier.

By now, I decided that it was all up to God, the universe, and the casting team, so I looked forward to a couple of nights in NYC. I called my friend Jonathan Goldstein, with whom I was staying, and we arranged a meeting place just off Times Square. For about an hour I wandered blissfully in the drizzle and grey of a New York November afternoon, thrilled to be in the city again. Once I connected with Goldstein, we had a great time catching up while we rode the train back out to JFK to get my bag...

...which had been sent to LaGuardia.

Yes, this was annoying, but after a couple of beers in the airport Sam Adams Cafe, we decided just to laugh it off and consider our train trip as good an environ as any for visiting. We finally got back to Goldstein's place (on 191st Street, about 2 hours from JFK) had some dinner, and crashed. I slept on a small loveseat with a chair pulled alongside for stretching-out purposes. No king-sized bed has ever slept better...I was out like a light.

The next day (Saturday) dawned cool and overcast. I borrowed a shirt from Goldstein, and we set out for the Museum of Natural History, which was ridiculously crowded, so we wound up at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, which was delightful. While we were there, Delta Airlines called and asked to deliver my bag. Since I had less than 24 hours left in town, I decided just to send it back to JFK, where I would pick it up for departure. The rest of the visit was great...a nice hearty dinner, drinks at some fun East Village bars, getting lost on the subway twice (another funny story) and keeping my fingers crossed not only for myself, but for Goldstein, who was up for the role of (no joke) Rev. Billy Graham in a play.

Sunday morning came, and I trudged back to JFK, only to find that my luggage had been sent BACK to LaGuardia. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Fine, just send it to Birmingham. I made it back to Atlanta, and drove home without incident.

Indeed, the "tiny ship was tossed," in keeping with the Gilligan theme, but all ended well. I got home just fine, Goldstein did, indeed, get the role, and I am still hopeful that I will be among the "seven stranded castaways" on tour this spring.

This has turned into an epic posting, so I will close for now. I would, however, like to return a shout-out to my friend Aaron, who is performing in a professional production of "A Christmas Carol" right now, and sent me a nice break-a-leg on his blog. Thanks, Aaron, and God Bless Us, Every One!

In today's News From The Motherland...man cuts off own head with chainsaw to protest eviction...I would have thought a strongly-worded letter would be sufficient...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7737721.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Shipwrecked...?

2008-11-15T06:12:00.000-08:00

Well, this has been an eventful few days! Yesterday I arrived in New York to audition for the touring production of "Gilligan's Island:The Musical." I think the audition went well, and I was asked to read for the roles of The Professor, The Skipper, and Thurston Howell III. While I would obviously be thrilled with any of the three, anyone who knows me well (or at all for that matter) can guess what my first choice would be! :-)
It was nice to see my friend Lloyd Schwartz, who wrote the show and was at the auditions. We did not get to do much more than say hello, unfortunately, as I got into the city yesterday afternoon and he flew out last night. Oh well, hopefully I will see him at rehearsal in January (fingers duly crossed!)
I am staying until Sunday with another good friend, Jonathan Goldstein, who lives here now. We had a good visit last night, and are going to hang out in the city today and possibly see "Young Frankenstein" tonight. I think we are going to try and go to the Museum of Natural History today.
While NYC is always fun, the actual process of getting here has been rough. Between fog, delayed planes, etc. I barely made it. I have no idea when I will get my suitcase, which wound up at LaGuardia while I flew into JFK. They are supposed to deliver it to Goldstein's, but they're going to call me first...which will be difficult because my phone charger is in my suitcase and my phone is dead. C'est la vie, I suppose... it looks like I will be buying yet another charger today...

In other news, OBAMA WINS PRESIDENCY!!!!!!! (I can still see the headline! :-) I have a feeling of optimism and hope for the USA that I have not felt in years...and if Hillary becomes Secretary of State, well, that's not a bad consolation prize. I still wish she had been nominated/elected, but President-Elect Obama will do an outstanding job.

In today's News From The Motherland... Her Majesty gets a look at Facebook..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/7728760.stm

FLT3

At Last, Election Day...

2008-11-04T05:41:00.000-08:00

Well, after approximately four years of anticipation, Election Day is finally here. I feel good about our chances today. Barring some unforseen chicanery from the Republicans, we should coast to victory. I am going to vote in a few minutes, and encourage everyone else to do the same.

In today's News From The Motherland... election coverage, of course!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/us_elections_2008/7707581.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!!
FLT3

My Top Ten...

2008-10-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

I had a delightful lunch today with Lovey and some friends...one of them (Lindsey) brought up the subject of everyone's top ten favorite musicals. That seemed a blog-worthy topic, so here are my top ten picks:

. My Fair Lady
. Bye Bye Birdie
. The Music Man
. Gilligan's Island:The Musical
. Kiss Me, Kate
. Oliver!
. Les Miserables
. Me And My Girl
. Thoroughly Modern Millie
. Anything Goes

Honorable mention also goes out to The Phantom Of The Opera, A Little Night Music, 42nd Street, The Secret Garden, Hair, Sweeney Todd, Camelot, The King And I, I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change, and Grease.

So...assuming that my readers (all 12 of you) also have your own lists, I send out a call for submissions... what are YOUR top 10 favorite musicals?

In today's News From The Motherland... rowdy behaviour closes a pub in Kent.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/kent/7690684.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!
FLT3

Update

2008-10-15T06:03:00.000-07:00

Wow...it has been too long since I posted! Lots of exciting things going on...GREASE opens Friday, and lots of other projects are in the works. I am literally heading out the door right now, but just wanted to let all of my readers (who now appear to number in the double digits) know that I am alive, well, and will be returning to the blogosphere next week at the latest...

In today's News From The Motherland... Chunnel repairs near completion!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7671126.stm

Obama in '08!!!!

FLT3

Back To The Grind...

2008-09-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

Well, RAPUNZEL has opened successfully, and today I am back at Vestavia High School, subbing for an English teacher. The kids are all seniors, and the largest class is 12 students, so it should be a very easy day...

GREASE is making its' way towards a 17 October opening, and we are on schedule. We have no time to waste, but we're completely blocked and choreographed as of last night, so we are ready to start running the show and finding the characters, etc. We have a talented group, so all should be well.

Tuesday night brought a fun event, singing with 5 friends at "The Club," a venerable Birmingham institution that has apparently changed very little since the Rat Pack era (and may it ever stay there! :-) Broadway tunes were offered after a seated dinner in a large ballroom...one could almost see Frank, Dino, and Sammy snapping their fingers along with the little piano/bass/drum combo.

This weekend is the annual Sidewalk Film Festival, which Lovey and I are planning to attend. The films usually range from brilliant to "what the hell," but are almost always entertaining for one reason or another...plus, it's a chance to wander around and drink beer in the daytime without being considered a complete reprobate...

On the political front, John McCain is suspending his campaign to try and straighten out the $700 billion bailout kerfuffle. Whatever. It sounds like he's running scared, in my opinion. Also interesting is the sudden proclamation from King Dubya that the economic sky is falling... (no sh*t, Sherlock.) One wonders how we went from a resilient, strong economy to the pits of despair in just a week or two.

Caribou Barbie continues to alternately amuse and disgust.

In today's News From The Motherland...Busta Rhymes detained at airport...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7635992.stm

OBAMA IN 08!!!

FLT3

TGIF

2008-09-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, it is once again Friday...and there is joy in the air. The breeze is cool and soothing, and people on the street seem to have a bit more of a spring in the step. Smiles come more easily, and manners and courtesy seem heightened...

Okay, maybe that is a bit of a stretch, but people do seem happier on Friday. I would hazard a guess that fewer violent crimes take place on Friday. Let's hope so...

A grand and glorious greeting goes out to my good friend Selina, who found my blog through the increasingly ubiquitous Facebook. Hey, sugar!!!!! Counting Selina, my readers now number in the high single digits... woo hoo!!!!

Must make my way into the theatre for the next-to-final day of dress rehearsal for BCT's RAPUNZEL. The cast has done a great job!

In today's News From The Motherland... asteroid-a-rama!!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7623411.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

Chez Pancake

2008-09-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Just returned from a Birmingham landmark...The Original Pancake House. Lovey and I indulged in (and I quote) "ridiculously sugary pancakes." For those who are unfamiliar with this pinnacle of skillet-baked breakfast comestibles, the OPH is to the IHOP what London is to Dubuque... the latter may be pleasant and enjoyable, but there is, quite simply, no comparison.

The OPH is snugly nestled in the Five Points area of Birmingham's Southside, so named for the confluence of five streets. The food is amazingly caloric, indulgent, and oh so good...pancakes slathered with butter, fluffy eggs scrambled in butter, toast with (you guessed it) butter, and so forth. This is not a place to visit if you are on a diet.

Okay, this paragraph is being written about eight hours after the preceeding text was saved as a draft, so I can now comment on the rest of the day. We had our final performance of I DO! I DO! today, and it was well received. Now I can turn my full attention towards BCT's production of RAPUNZEL, which I am directing (opening next week) and CenterStage's GREASE (opening 17 October.) I have no doubt that there will be more discussion of each of these in days to come.

Turning towards things political, the inevitable Republican flag-waving and rallying around McCain/Palin has begun. My thought is this... haven't the last eight years demonstrated the inefficacy of an idiot president being led around by a soulless and malevolent second-in-command? To quote my good friend and unsung philosopher Jonathan Goldstein, "I'm just sayin'..."

McCain seems an affable enough moron, but then so did Dubya in 2000. Palin gives me the shivers one would get in the presence of any despotic would-be dictator. Take it from me, friends, this woman is baaaaaaad news. Anyone who inspires hordes of people to revel in backward-assed provincialism is bad enough, but when she looks like an ill-tempered middle school librarian who enjoys kicking puppies? No thank you...

In today's News From The Motherland... the Black Pudding Toss is underway!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/7615418.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!
FLT3

Who knew "Das Boot" was the S.S. Minnow?

2008-09-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

The things one can find on YouTube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYoRt33t8HQ&feature=related

Not much to report today...just a new treasure from the world of the internet.

In today's News From The Motherland... "Rule, Britannia" once again graces the final night of the Proms...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7613188.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

Remembering WB

2008-09-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

Today's post could easily go sad, but my goal is to keep it bright, funny, and enjoyable...just like the person it honors.

I lost a very good friend this week. Walter Brown McCord was a very special person. We first met 21 years ago when he was costuming Guys And Dolls for Theatre Tuscaloosa. A friendship was struck up immediately, and we were extremely close from that day on. The past 21 years have been richer for my having known him.

It is almost impossible to describe WB. He spoke with an inimitable (well, extremely imitable, actually) cadence and vocal inflection that was somewhere between British aristocracy and low-country Carolinian by way of New York. He was one of the most educated and sophisticated people I ever knew, yet could enjoy a ribald joke or silly humor with enthusiasm. Physically, he was somewhat of a scruffy John Gielgud with longer hair. His laugh was somewhere between a growl and a cough, no doubt a result of the cigarette that was seldom out of his reach. I sincerely thank God for all the laughs we shared.

WB was easily irritated in a comedic manner. He was affectionate and extremely kind, but his compliments were as often followed by "you little shit" or "sumnabitch" as not.

There are thousands of celebrity-filled stories surrounding his years in New York. I have no doubt that many of these stories were...shall we say...embellished a bit, but who cares? Each and every one was a gem, and some of my happiest memories involve sitting up well past midnight listening to his tales as WB slaved and cursed over a sewing machine, far behind schedule on whatever show he was costuming. He always promised that nobody would go onstage naked, however, and to my knowledge nobody ever did.

We had not seen each other as frequently over the past few years, as his health declined and he approached 80. We did, however, talk on the phone at least once every couple of weeks. (God, how I wish I could call him one more time...) I will always be grateful that when we hung up the phone, we always said "love you" and "love you too." Those were literally the last words we ever exchanged, and I can't think of a more appropriate adieu.

I will, no doubt, write more about WB in posts to come. His story is far too rich to be told in a single sitting. I am sad, I mourn his passing, but I also celebrate his life, which is exactly what he would have wanted me to do. Sumnabitch.

No News From The Motherland or YouTube today. This post is all about Walter Brown McCord.

FLT3

Oh Labor Day...

2008-09-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the two-week hiatus. Between I DO! I DO! and a few other projects, I have been absent from the blogosphere. I will embrace the feeling of "back to school" that permeates the air and endeavor to write regularly.

Lovey and I went to a very nice party last night, given by some theatre friends. It was a relaxed, poolside affair with a convivial group. We enjoyed it as a nice ending to a full weekend.

Speaking of weekends, this is, of course, Labor Day Weekend. It was exactly 17 years ago (Sweet Mother of God) that some friends and I went Labor Day Caroling. Yes, you heard (read?) correctly...Labor Day Caroling. After a few festive beverages, we decided to compose our own carols...I can't recall the entire song list, but I do remember a snippet here and there. A particular favorite was "Rufus The Trash Man," sung to the tune of "Frosty The Snow Man."

"Rufus the trash man
Doesn't work on Labor Day.
He barbeques with his best friend Bill,
And a plumber named Jose..."

Also favored was "Oh Labor Day," to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree."

"Oh Labor Day! Oh Labor Day!
With joy we celebrate you!
Oh Labor Day! Oh Labor Day!
Although the bosses hate you!"

Yes...we were creative in those days. We even had a Labor Day tree, made of a wicker broom and cotton balls. Oh, the joys of youth and beer...

Tomorrow I begin rehearsal for RAPUNZEL, which I am directing for Birmingham Children's Theatre. The script is charming, and the cast is talented, so it should be a very successful project. I am looking forward to it. Also on the horizon is GREASE, which I am directing for CenterStage in October, The VST production of THE 1940's RADIO HOUR which opens in December (playing Clifton Feddington) as well as the BCT production of THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER, which I am also directing. Add to this the monthly performances of ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE at Vulcan Park, and I have a busy fall theatrically speaking.

I believe I hear Lovey stirring about, so I will close for now. In today's News From The Motherland... UK shutterbug arrested for camera theft....okay, it's a slow news day... ;-)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7591526.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Back To School...

2008-08-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am subbing today at Vestavia High School...the first day "back to school" for me. I am always sort of sad at the end of summer (a holdover from so many years in school, I suppose.) That sadness has, over the past few years, been softened by the realization that now when I come to school, I get paid. That helps.

I DO! I DO! is coming along well. GREASE was just cast, and I am looking forward to getting started on it.

Life is good. Lovey is getting ready to begin teaching her fall classes, and has been hard at work on her syllabuses (syllabi?) In all, there is a feeling of preparation in the air...I am teaching an acting class at VST this fall, and must start the prep work for that this weekend.

In today's News From The Motherland... Faustina The Elder makes a re-appearance.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7560833.stm

And in more News From The Motherland... "Crazy Larry" quoted by the BBC...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/7560392.stm

Obama In '08!!!

FLT3

More Spanish Gilligan and Midnight Special

2008-08-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this amuses me so much...it just does...The Skipper's voice is too funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrTEAfd2oI0&feature=related

In another moment of joy... Andy Griffith sings "The Midnight Special." This is gold!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvYDpXfiDuQ

Just a quick post while taking a break from getting scenes prepared for GREASE auditions, which are tomorrow and Sunday. If rumor is to be believed, we are going to have a very large turnout. I am sure I will probably hear ten thousand renditions of "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee," but that's part of the game... I am leaning towards casting with an eye towards the movie in terms of age. With all of the "mature" subject matter, I would be much more comfortable with twentysomethings as opposed to actual 16-year-olds. That said, the role of Sandy is already cast with an actual teenager (Kimberly Piazza) but she is very mature and can hold her own with the older "kids."

Lovey and I attempted to watch "Zoolander" last night with IV and V. We both fell asleep halfway through, not because it's a bad movie (it's very funny) but because it was 11:00. Of course, after driving home I was wide awake and stayed up until almost 2am. C'est la vie...

Cool weather is supposedly on the way. The weather forecast predicted lows in the mid-60's tomorrow night. That should be refreshing...

If I have started to discuss the weather, it's time to close. In today's News From The Motherland... Snoop Dogg takes Bollywood by storm!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7549301.stm

Obama In '08!!!

FLT3

Shaking My Head...

2008-08-07T06:28:00.001-07:00

As much as I enjoy blogging about fun, happy things, I am on a serious rant today...

A Birmingham woman has filed a lawsuit following the death of a two-year-old in a house fire. According to the news report, the fire was started by a five-year-old playing with a cigarette lighter. The woman is suing the store that sold the lighter, as well as the manufacturers and distributors of the item.

Sweet Jesus.

The death of a child is one of the most horrific things I can imagine. I can't even think about it too much, or I will literally burst into tears. My heart goes out to the family and loved ones who have lost someone so sweet and innocent.

That said, I can only shake my head in wonderment at the opportunism and cynical actions of this person. WHY THE HELL WASN'T SHE WATCHING HER KIDS? WHY WAS A LIGHTER LEFT WITHIN REACH OF TWO TODDLERS?

Worst of all...why is this woman trying to make money off such a terrible thing? To quote Rex Harrison in Dr Doolittle, "I do not understand the human race."

If you have small people in your world, please look after them. Here endeth the sermon.

Okay, deep breath... happier thoughts...

Rehearsal is progressing nicely with I Do! I Do! and the show should be in good shape by opening night. I have not heard the score in years, and I am constantly reminded of how much I love the music. It amazes me that the show isn't done more often. Yes, it's a bit dated, but if done as a museum piece, it works very well. There are also several comments and references that have stood the test of time.

Lovey received a nice little gift in yesterday's mail. She had some Texas friends in for a visit a couple of weeks ago, and they sent her some fun photos from their evening out. I have enjoyed looking at the pics...I need to take more photos of my friends and our activities. I used to be a camera bug, but have gotten less attentive to picture-taking over the past few years. I suppose if someone ever decides to chronicle my life, it will look as if very little happened between around 1997 and 2007. "The lost decade" does have a certain ring to it... :-)

In today's News From The Motherland... those wacky British teenagers...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/7546558.stm

Obama In '08!!!
FLT3

Viva!!!

2008-08-05T09:52:00.001-07:00

Ever wonder what the Gilligan theme sounds like in Spanish? This made me smile... I love the way Thurston is described as "El Millionario!" :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HzmC5xX9pU&feature=related

Wonderful way to segue...today is Lovey's birthday, which is a very special day indeed...many happy returns, my dear! :-)

I have recently taken the plunge into the world of Facebook. I am still a newbie, but I can see where it could get addictive...like I need anything to keep me on the computer more hours per day...

In today's News From The Motherland...good news for the butterfly...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/7542779.stm

Obama In 08!!!
FLT3

Doot Dooty Dooty Doot, Doot Dooty Dooty Doot...

2008-08-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I must admit that my attempt to represent on the printed page (screen?) the opening riff of "We Go Together" might have been a bit cryptic at best, but there you are...

Lovey and I took Thurston IV and Thurston V to the historic Alabama Theatre this afternoon to see Grease, that wonderful film that shaped the childhood/adolescence of many a Generation X-er. I remember getting the record (for those under 25, that's a big disc that played music) when I was in the 4th grade. I think I literally wore it out within a year. Aside from a HUGE crush on the actress who played "Marty" (Dinah Manoff if memory serves) I absolutely loved the music, and wanted to be a T-Bird...or Vince Fontaine...or third nobody from the left...

One thing that I had never really noticed before is how well the film creates an amalgam of the 1950's (when the show is set) and the 1970's (when the movie was filmed.) There is a definite touch of funk in the score, and some of the fashions veer dangerously close to a sort of Lamont Sanford-meets-Sonny Bono sensibility. This little pastiche of period is, in a word, delightful.

I had NOT forgotten that Stockard Channing, as Rizzo, looked like everyone else's grandmother.

At any rate, everyone left the theatre humming and singing. Grease is, to this day, the word. I will be directing the stage version this fall, and today's screening has given me a good boost of enthusiasm. I anticipate a fun project...

In today's News From The Motherland... a farewell to Alexander Solzhenitsyn. I remember reading and enjoying One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich when I was in the 7th or 8th grade.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7540038.stm

Obama In '08!!!!

FLT3

Third One Today...

2008-07-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am nothing if not prolific...

Dear Lovey has decided to take the plunge and join the blogosphere...well done, my dear!

For a look at Lovey's thoughts on relevant social topics of the day, please visit....

www.texaschick1.blogspot.com

Will let News From The Motherland rest on the third posting. Rule, Britannia!

In honor of Lovey, News From ANOTHER Motherland... Yee Haw!
http://www.dallasnews.com/

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

Aboard This Tiny Ship...

2008-07-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's time again for one of the seldom-seen SAME DAY POSTS!!!! :-)

This one was too good to hold until tomorrow. My darling Lovey in her infinite knowledge of all things cool and neat, found (and forwarded to me) this article about a certain famous seagoing vessel...

http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/07/31/how-would-you-like-a-ride-on-the-s-s-minnow/

She is a very special lady. :-)

In the second of today's installments of News From The Motherland... a bit more "Potter" for all of us fans...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7535162.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

Finally Facing My Waterloo...

2008-07-31T06:59:00.001-07:00

At least I hope I'm Lord Admiral Nelson and not General Bonaparte...

Lovey and I saw "Mamma Mia" and I am still reeling from the ABBA-fest. ABBA has always been one of my favorite bands (yes, I'm that old) and hearing all this beloved music in an entirely new framework was exhilarating. No, Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan are not A-list singers, but it just didn't matter...they sold the songs, and the entire movie was a joy. I never stopped smiling! I was a bit disappointed when my favorite-of-all-time ABBA song (Waterloo) was not included in the film...and then at the very end, Meryl's character looks directly into the screen (4th wall shattered all to hell, but so what) and asks "Do you want one more?" Guess what...WATERLOO!!!! I was, to say the least, very pleased.

For those who love the song as much as I, a link...funky fashions and dance moves are a bonus treat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpUz5zXywhY

In today's News From The Motherland... Prince William update.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7534769.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

Ersatz Europe

2008-07-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

I just read a posting by my friend, Aaron. He and his girlfriend recently moved to Kannapolis, NC (which sounds somewhat faux Greco, but that's not where we're going today...) It seems that Aaron endured a rather grueling (note the cheeky reference to yesterday's post) experience in the dreaded Newark airport. Following said experience, however, he has arrived in Montreal. One can only imagine the rush of overwhelming relief he must have felt upon arrival...

Aaron's blog, btw, is well worth reading. You can check it out at http://www.butdonttrytotouchme.blogspot.com/

Never having been to Montreal (or any part of Canada) I am forced to rely on the rhapsodic praise I have heard re the city from several friends who have visited it. From what I have gathered, it is a very Francofied (sp?) city, with everything from language to architecture mirroring La Belle France (which I have visited several times and love!) I have no doubt that Aaron and Laurie will have a delightful time in such a place.

Now...given my admitted anglophilia, I have started to ponder the case for an American London. Rule, Britannia! (Yes, I just stood, faced Oxford, and sang the first two lines of the song... "Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves!") Okay, maybe I'm lying about that...or maybe not...

Anyway, if Crazy Larry can push to have Birmingham host the Olympics in 2020, perhaps I could get him on board for "West London, Alabama." To wit, my ideas...

. Annex one of the outlying areas just beyond the Bham city limits...preferably someplace with very little development. West London needs to be built from scratch, both literally and figuratively.

.With the exception of "Little Ben," "West Westminster Abbey," and a Harrod's satellite store, any attempts to recreate actual London landmarks should probably be avoided. This is a refuge and an homage, not a theme park. The architecture and overall essence of The City is what we seek to replicate.

.Strong financial incentive should be offered to hire as many British expats as possible to work in the community. Hearing the dulcet tones of The Motherland will be part of the experience.

.West London would be the obvious locale for Alabama's arts and cultural center (The Western West End?) With all due (not much) respect to the City of Montgomery, the ASF should be relocated. Toss in a couple of first-rate local performing arts groups and a healthy touring schedule, and we're set. A lovely museum along the lines of the V&A would be nice...not sure what Larry's wife is named, but we could easily call it the "L& (whatever her first initial may be.)

. Pubs. Lots of them. This is not to say that West London will be some sort of lawless college-bar metrop. On the contrary, civilized drinking and social interaction will be the order of the day. The requisite brass and red-curtained "look" will be in place, as will the more civilized Euro-views on alcohol consumption. (Hand to God, the only drunks I have ever seen in the UK have been Americans... those of The Motherland are raised with fewer taboos, and therefore far fewer instances of gross overindulgence.)

.Fish and Chips stalls and Kebab vans. Enough said.

. While American Law will certainly still prevail, West London judges will wear powdered wigs in the style of their British counterparts. Attorneys will, of course, be called "barristers," while paralegals will be "solicitors." (The comparison isn't exact, but close enough...)

.British holidays will be observed, including Boxing Day and 5 November ("Remember, remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason, and plot...") 4 July will be a bit awkward, but good will and civility will certainly prevail.

...and the list goes on. This idea has about as much chance of ever happening as the 2020 Olympics in Birmingham, but Crazy Larry has taught us Birminghamians to think big. If nothing else, it's been a fun way to start the morning...

In other news, Lovey and I both auditioned for the commercial/tv show/whatsit yesterday, along with Thurston IV. I enjoyed the audition, but there was something decidedly sketchy about it. Nobody in authority seemed able to explain exactly WHAT the show was/is. All we gathered was...

. It has something to do with the environment.

. There are significant corporate sponsors (Coca-Cola and Nike were mentioned.)

. There is a large green bus that travels the country promoting "green" activity.

...and that's about it. The people in charge were extremely nice, very welcoming, and seemingly sincere. They just seemed unable (or unwilling) to tell us if this was an audition for a tv show, a live performance, or something in between. Oh well, we'll see if we hear back from them...

In today's News From The Motherland... The RSC and Sci-Fi fans collide...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7523210.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Gruel To Go...?

2008-07-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

Having spent the past few days working on a children's theatre script adaptation of Oliver Twist, I am in a decidedly Dickensian frame of mind... fair warning that today's posting will most likely be verbose, flowery, and follow the "why use one word when ten will do" philosophy... (for those smartasses among my readers who were considering posing a question along the lines of "why should today be any different," too bad...I just beat you to it... ;-)

With said Dickensian bent firmly established, I have allowed myself a few minutes of silly reverie before starting the day... I have an image in mind of a Dickens-based fast food place... "Gruel To Go." It could easily be twinned with a bookstore (excuse me...it's Dickens Day...I meant to say a book-shop) along the lines of the cafe in Little Professor (a Bham book-shop for those out-of-town readers.) The menu could feature Oliver's Gruel (oatmeal,) the Cratchit Special (very little food for those watching their waistlines,) Uncle Pumblechook's Wine List (a bottle of port and a bottle of sherry, if memory serves,) and the Sydney Carton Health Plate for those who wish to be oh-so-virtuous (" 'tis a far, far, better thing I do...") And the list goes on... Little Dorrit's Kidney Pies... Miss Havisham's Wedding Cake... and the requisite Budget Deal (for those who have fallen upon Hard Times.)

Okay, so the place would probably not have a huge initial appeal beyond English nerds and academic types, but isn't that sort of wonderful? I think a little exclusivity is good for the soul, but that's just me...

As I forge ahead with this idea, I am envisioning a Tex-Mex establishment immediately adjacent. (The Brits and The Texans tend to mix rather well.) Perhaps a large advert of Charles Dickens arm-in-arm with Sam Houston would make for an interesting image... or possibly Annie Oakley (was she Texan? Oh well, if she wasn't, she should have been) holding a gun on Ebenezer Scrooge... oh the tie-in... "Did my 3-Alarm Texas Chili cause you to have heartburn and acid indigestion? Well, pard, get rid of the "Ghost Of Christmas Past" with new and improved Rolaids!"

This is getting bizzare, but I am following the lead of Mayor "Crazy Larry" Langford... sometimes you've just got to think outside the box...

Not much else to report from Lake Wobegon... I am auditioning today for a television show in the making...something about environmental concerns, etc...not sure if anything will come of it, but I figured it was worth a shot. Darling Lovey is going to accompany me for moral support. Perhaps I can convince her to audition as well...

In today's News From The Motherland... Nazis and orgies and hookers? Oh my...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7523034.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

#X!@* - ha ha ha

2008-07-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

I started to title this "Feet: An Addendum" but the peals of profanity followed by laughter inspired an alternate header...

Darling Lovey continues to have pretty feet...however, one "pinky" has become somewhat disfigured due to a toe-stubbing incident. Such cutting-edge medical inplements as scotch tape are being utilized. (I might have suggested scotch as a viable anesthetic, but it is only 9am...anything heavier than a Bloody Mary would just be...well...tacky.)

She will live.

In today's News From The Motherland... Python ban lifted...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/mid_/7514423.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Feet

2008-07-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about my feet lately. I am just reaching the point in life (40 looms imminent...oh God...) where the statement "my feet hurt" is starting to pass my lips with alarming frequency. I have never given a great deal of thoght to my pieds before now, and it's sort of amazing when you consider just how much our feet really do...assuming I learned to walk somewhere around the age of 1, my feet have been picked up and put down thousands of times each day for the past 37 years. That's a lot of punishment for a body part.

In one of his finest moments on "Hollywood Squares," the late great Paul Lynde was asked the following:

"What is the most abused and neglected part of the body?" (The answer: the feet.)

Lynde's response: "Well, mine has certainly been abused but never neglected..."

Perhaps it loses something in the re-telling in typeface, but insert Lynde's delivery and nasty snicker and you've got a comedic bon mot of epic proportions. The fact that he was wearing a leisure suit somehow made it even better...

Lovey has very pretty feet. Just thought I'd mention that.

My own feet are unremarkable, but slightly large. (Size 10 1/2) They are certainly not freakish, but just large enough that my shoes have been compared to boats on occasion.

Enough about feet. In today's News From The Motherland...those noisy scouts strike again...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/leicestershire/7509198.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Reefer Madness and Fried Food

2008-07-11T05:59:00.000-07:00

I suppose today's header sounds like a party from just about everyone's college days... however, the real story is a bit different...

Last night Lovey and I saw "Reefer Madness:The Musical" at TNT, one of Birmingham's outstanding local theatres. My good friend Jan was in the cast, and I must admit that my initial impetus for seeing the show was to be supportive of her. I had seen the made-for-Showtime (HBO?) adaptation of the stage musical, and found it mildly entertaining, but it never really grabbed me.

I have no idea whether the show just works better on stage, or if I was just tired/distracted/etc when I watched the dvd, but wow...this production was HYSTERICAL! The staging was tight and fluid, the performers all bought in to the silly "over-the-top" quality of the script, the musicians were superb, etc etc etc...I could go on, but will settle for saying "this is an outstanding and entertaining show." Kudos to the cast and director, Carl Stewart.

Anyway, following the performance, Lovey and I joined a group of friends for a bite to eat. Obviously, most food readily available after 10pm is going to most likely be fried bar food. Okay, no problem...I can eat onion rings and other fried things and go home to bed with no problem... I did it all the time in college...sure, pass me the hot sauce, it'll make my sandwich taste soooo good!

Ugh.

The British have the most wonderfully evocative term... "gyppy tummy." My tummy has been beyond gyppy this am. Clearly, my days of eating a whole Domino's pizza washed down with a few beers and then drifting off to blissful sleep are left waaaaay back in the distance, along with "Don't Worry, Be Happy," Crocodile Dundee, neon clothing, the first President Bush, The Spice Girls, and "Matlock."

Enough about my digestive issues. Today is slightly cloudy, a little muggy, and bears the aura of a comforting, soft, reassuring blanket. If one has to feel a bit less than top drawer, this is the sort of day that will accomodate and soothe.

In today's News From The Motherland... apples and pears...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7501420.stm

Obama in '08!!!!

FLT3

Hot, Hot, Hot...

2008-07-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

Great...I thought that was a clever title that I could tie into the fact that it has been hot as all-get-out for the past few days, and now I have that song stuck in my head...oh the bane of every wedding reception...the conga line to "Hot, Hot, Hot." There's always at least one (usually amusing) slip and fall, generally from an inebriated octogenarian. Bonus points if said oldster bounces up and says something wonderfully anachronistic like "whoop de doo" or "23 skidoo."

No, I have never seen this happen, but I'd like to.

The week is going well. I have been teaching at the CenterStage summer theatre camp, and all is going smoothly. We have a large group of very good kids...even the extremely hyper ones are good natured, sweet souls...not a mean spirit in the group, so they're just fine.

My best friend, Brent, is getting married next month, and plans are underway for the wedding. I got the info today on getting measured for tuxes, etc. That should be fun. (I will have to find out how one goes about acquiring a drunk 80-year-old who hollers epithets from the jazz age.)

Not much else to report...have spent some time with Lovey, which is always delightful. I had lunch yesterday with a good friend at a little drug store which still has (hand to God) a functioning soda fountain/lunch counter with the best hand-pressed limeade on Earth. If you ignore a few of the more modern amenities (which are few, indeed) it would honestly be possible to imagine a scene from the early 1950's. Cool place.

In today's News From The Motherland...churchgoers shamed by sham.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/north_east/7497411.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Back In '58, I Was Hell...

2008-07-07T05:07:00.000-07:00

Home again after a delightful weekend getaway with Lovey. Details on said junket to follow, but first a story which bears repeating...

We encountered one of those delightfully nonsensical "snapshot of life" moments that make life worth living...imagine, dear reader, if you will, an elderly gentleman on the street. While slightly scruffy around the edges, he held no menace or threat...perhaps a bit tipsy in a sort of "livin' large and lovin' life" way...a 75-year-old man about town who may have gone a bit down at heel, but retaining an affable charm that most likely served him well back in the day...if Redd Foxx and an aging Richard Pryor could have borne a child, this would be him...you get the picture...benignly naughty and infinitely endearing.

Said gent was holding a pineapple. This is not a euphemism. He was literally carrying a whole pineapple.

Engaging in conversation with said chap was an attractive young woman of 25 or thereabouts. She was shapely, and slightly provocative in an appropriate way...a little plump in the best of ways...sexy/cute with just a hint of hoochie mama tossed deliciously into the mix.

These were not sketchy people...just worldly.

I can't remember what the fellow's exact words were, but he was clearly after the girl in a harmless, old-timer sort of way. I would hazard a guess that the flirtation was his end goal in and of itself. The girl never really stopped walking, but she slowed her pace, spoke back, and gave "Pops" a winning smile. He was apparently offering the pineapple as some sort of prelude to courtship...and amusingly so.

This was a very heartwarming scene which could have broken bad in so many ways, but it didn't. The old man was mildly lecherous but lovably so. The girl was rebuffing his advances but with a coquettish twinkle. No threatening aura here, and no broken hearts...just a dirty old man and a sweet young thing exchanging lighthearted words on the street.

In continuing the script after witnessing the moment, Lovey & I decided that somewhere in the conversation, the old gent had uttered...

"Damn baby! Back in '58, I was hell!"

Indeed he was.

In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown encourages food conservation.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7492573.stm

Obama in '08!!!
FLT3

Honoring A Giant...

2008-07-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

While today is a very happy day (leaving for a weekend with Lovey, sun is shining, birds are chirping, etc.) it is also twinged with just a hint of sadness. It was today, 3 July, 1989, that James Gilmore Backus went to that great deserted island in the sky...

It's always sad when our childhood idols start to pass away, and Jim Backus was the first true "celebrity loss" I experienced. (Two years later, at the death of Rex Harrison, I experienced the second.) I remember being sad, but my first thought was "man, was he still alive?" Due to complications from Parkinson's disease, Backus had been out of the public eye for some time.

I won't go into a lengthy essay, but it should be noted that the man who gave us Thurston Howell III and Mr. Magoo was also a celebrated and talented golfer, who could have easily gone pro. He also suffered from depression and spent some time in a treatment facility, helped back "into the light" by his loving wife, Henny. (Did I mention that Henny Backus played the overbearing Native Mother in the episode "Gilligan's Mother-In-Law?" Okay, enough showing off...) Backus was also a great raconteur whose nightclub act never failed to draw capacity crowds...he got his start in his hometown of Cleveland, first on radio, and then as (no joke) a rabbi in a hassidic stage play. His Howell character was based on a similarly mega-wealthy character he created on the radio...Hubert Updyke III. (There was also clearly a large dose of Updyke in Mr. Magoo.)

Enough trivia. Today I celebrate the life of one of the great character actors of the mid-20th century, who also happened to have been a personal hero of mine. Rest in peace, Jim Backus...I am sure that somewhere up there on a cloud you are making everyone laugh. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland... oh happy Dane! (Okay, that was bad...)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7487143.stm

OBAMA IN '08!!!

FLT3

The Lights Of Long Ago...

2008-07-02T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I have expounded upon the "music can take you back" theme before, so apologies in advance if some of this is familiar ground...

Had a delightful day yesterday, which included an afternoon visit from Lovey for cocktails... I am sort of proud of myself for having created a "Tangerine Sublett," an homage to the great actress of the same name. It makes a lovely and refreshing summertime treat...

One half jug orange/tangerine juice
One bottle dry champagne
One healthy slosh of gin
One twist lemon

Pour into ice-filled glasses and garnish with lemon slice, leaving a little room in the glass. Top off with Perrier. Enchanting!

Now, back to the story...while mixing said Tangerine Subletts, I put on some background music...Sheryl Crow, for the record, but that's immaterial... later on in the evening, I started to flip through the cd folder and came across a blank, unlabeled cd. When I played it, I realized it was the soundtrack from the Alan Mencken version of A Christmas Carol, which I directed a couple of years ago. For whatever reason, (Christmas in July?) I decided just to let it roll.

There is a particular song in the show, "The Lights Of Long Ago," which is sung to Scrooge by The Spirit of Christmas Past...the tune is very sweet and pleasant, but the lyrics of one verse spoke to me...

"...a child! Is this who you used to be?
A scene shining from your past?
The vast vistas of a memory?
The shadows you cast?
Mr. Scrooge, hold fast......

Onward through the night!
Onward towards the light!
Onward, to a place your heart will know...
Come remember the lights of long ago..."

At first glance, simple...but oh so significant...

I grew up in the same house from the time I was 6 years old, the house in which my parents still live. Whenever I contemplate the lights of long ago, they always seem to surround that house. While listening to the song, there was a rushing wave of memory that can only be described as a tsunami... birthday mornings from the 1980's...huge cookouts with my dad dutifully cooking enough bbq to feed an army...quiet Sunday afternoons that seemed hideously boring to a 15-year-old but now seem idyllic...sitting way out beyond the trees in the backyard drinking a "stolen" beer (from my parents' fridge) with my best high school friend...thousands of regular, normal school nights that seem so cozy in retrospect...a big family dinner the night before I left for 6 weeks at Oxford...the occasional snow from childhood, where muddy snowmen and sloppily-executed snow forts dotted the front yards...and so forth...

This story really has no point. Consider this a free-flowing observation as opposed to a plot-driven short story.

In today's News From The Motherland...elementary, my dear Borat...?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7484948.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Crazy Larry

2008-07-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

Given that several of my handful of readers do not live in Birmingham, I have decided to devote a posting to the adventures of Larry "Crazy Man" Langford, who continues to make headlines on a daily basis. Larry is entertaining. Larry is zany. Larry is whacked-out.

He is also the mayor.

Having risen to his lofty height following the two-term administration of the sleepy, affable, but ultimately do-nothing Bernard Kincaid, Larry made the following statement during last year's mayoral campaign...

"Birmingham needs a crazy man to run this city...and I am that crazy man!"

Larry Langford was elected without a runoff.

In the less-than-twelve-months since his term began, Larry has...

.Placed inexpensive laptop computers in the hands of every public school child in the city. (Good Larry)

.Gotten indicted by the SEC for alleged financial wrongdoing. (Bad Larry)

.Proposed that the Olympics be held in Birmingham in 2020, made the statement that "a good old fashioned butt-whoopin' " would curb gang violence, fought with the city council, refused to speak to anyone from The Birmingham News, campaigned for the oft-defeated domed stadium, and flashed his trademark toothy grin at anyone who will stand still. (Crazy Larry)

I do not live within the city limits of Birmingham, so I do not, as the saying goes, have a dog in this fight. I can sit back and enjoy Larry's antics yet remain oddly untouched by them. This is a good place to be, in the reviewing stands, so to speak.

Long live Crazy Larry. Long may he reign.

In today's News From The Motherland...those wacky Swedes...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7482551.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Tangerine Sublett - Part 2

2008-06-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

As I start my day, I find my morning coffee filled with Tangerine... (no, that's not good...)

While the dawn approaches, Tangerine... (no, too flowery...)

Oh Tangerine, where art thou... (Sweet Mother of God, no...)

Let it suffice to say that I am starting my morning with Tangerine on my mind. (That wasn't an epigram worthy of Wilde by any means, but it'll do.) Yes, the career of Tangerine Sublett seems to have been a fairly brief one...

http://www.tv.com/tangerine-sublett/person/177775/summary.html

Above is a link to her admittedly short bio at tv.com. Her credits include...one episode of "Sanford & Son." That seems to have been the one jewel of a performance she gave the world. Her imdb.com listing (below) is equally succinct...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2341076/

One sometimes entertains flights of fancy, and I am no exception...I have the sudden urge to purchase an apartment building, paint it light orange and call it "Tangerine Sublet(t)s."

Chances are, I will control this urge.

Onward, onward...I am teaching at an arts camp for the first three days of this week, and then taking a weekend getaway with Lovey...a three hour tour of sorts...I am really looking forward to it.

This has nothing to do with anything...just a photo of a bulldog surfing. It made me smile. :-)
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//080628/photos_us_rank_afp/7e6670231653a2a685648e51eb2692ac/

In today's News From The Motherland...advertising pays off...with a cute baby! :-)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/7480748.stm

Obama in '08!!!
FLT3

Tangerine Sublett

2008-06-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

No, I have not discovered a new citrus-based cocktail or an original flavor of Icee...I was just indulging in an evening of "Sanford And Son" with Lovey, Thurston IV and Thurston V. There was upon the screen...a classic...a joy...an epic episode of one of the greatest tv sitcoms this side of the island...

"A Pad For Lamont" tells the story of young Lamont's fledgling attempt at independence. The great actress TANGERINE SUBLETT (hand to God, I'm not kidding...to quote Thurston IV, "he's really not kidding...") played Fred's paramour in the episode. While Lamont pursues the lovely Darlene (with predictably tragic results) Fred re-establishes himself as a "playa" while romancing the widow Earnestine. We laughed. We cried. It was better than "Cats."

Not much else to report.

In today's News From The Motherland... man sells life. I would say something along the lines of "take my life...please," but I fear Lovey might groan at that one...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7479836.stm

Obama in '08!!!

FLT3

Forty Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...

2008-06-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Two new YouTube treasures to share...two versions of the song immortalized for contemporary audiences by Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster in the BBC series Jeeves And Wooster...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqzzHwuseaM&feature=related - Jack Hylton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKAoet-wtws - Tommy Handley

It is quite impossible to hear this song and not smile. :-)

The following snapshots sum up my life right now. God is, indeed, in His heaven and all is right with the world...

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/gilligan_s_island___the_complete_first_season/_group_photos/jim_backus3.jpg

http://blog.lib.umn.edu/schwitz/healthnews/jim_backus_gilligans_island.jpg

http://espn.go.com/i/abcsports/mnf/2001/1008/photo/a_backus_i.jpg

Yes, there is someone special in my life...more on "Lovey" in subsequent posts...

What else? Obama continues in his quest for The White House, and I have accepted him as my candidate. There is still a titch of Hillary-grief in my psyche, but I am beginning to catch the wave of Obama momentum. He will be a fine president.

The Music Man has closed, quite successfully, and I Do! I Do! looms on the horizon. As far as things theatrical go, I have taught at one workshop this summer, and have two more lined up. Between those will come a couple of writing assignments to keep the wolves away from the door, as well as a trip or two. I have spent much of this week helping my dad put up a fence in his back yard...hard work, but rewarding...and good exercise!

In today's News From The Motherland...a well-deserved tribute to Nelson Mandela. I love Hyde Park, BTW... ;-)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7475717.stm

Obama in '08!!!!

FLT3

Um...er...yeah...uh...right...

2008-06-23T21:20:00.001-07:00

I just got this link from a friend of mine...I'm not exactly sure what the point is...did using this particular gasoline change a professional athlete into Tina Louise? Or did it give her the good sense to abandon football for acting? I'm so confused...still, though, a cool museum piece...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHxwjsjJRhY&feature=related

In today's News From The Motherland...a farewell to George Carlin.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7468681.stm

Obama in '08!

FLT3

And the spaceship jumped over the shark...

2008-06-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'll admit it...I watched it...I liked it...but I was a kid, and even then I had to admit that the series had started to stretch it a bit...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2JkWhlMJh0

For those who actually follow these musings with any regularity, I have not forgotten the "getting my thoughts together" comments of last week. I am still composing my thoughts, but have come up with the following...

.Sometimes you can blindly stumble into the happy place you thought could never exist.

More later.

In today's News From The Motherland...perfect weather for Ms. Poppins...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7467236.stm

Obama in 08!
FLT3

More Mr Magoo...

2008-06-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Second post of the day...this one is classic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjjD94KYJOY&feature=related

FLT3

Defying The Block

2008-06-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Once again, a potentially incomprehensible header...one could easily be led to believe that I am standing up to some sort of tyranny (sp?) imposed by the other residents of my immediate neighbourhood (sp purposeful, Rule Britannia!) However, nothing so dramatic is meant...merely that I have been grappling with a delicious bout of writer's block. There is a lot going on in my life...substantial, good things are happening. Unfortunately, every time I try to put fingers to keyboard for the purpose of illuminating my readers (all eight of you) I can't find the right words to do my feelings justice. To steal a line from Harold Hill in the film version of The Music Man, "It isn't often I find myself at a loss for words..." The proper words will find their way to the page, but it may take a little while longer...

In the meantime, here is today's News From The Motherland...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/gloucestershire/7461764.stm

FLT3

Non-Political

2008-06-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

It was recently pointed out to me (by someone whose opinion I respect) that my posts of late have been rather politics-heavy. With that in mind, today's post will not discuss the upcoming election. (Yes, it will be tough, but I can do it...)

I started a new book this week, a new offering by one of my favorite authors, David Sedaris. His tongue-in-cheek diatribes about his family are touching, humorous, and ring frighteningly true to anyone who grew up with slightly eccentric siblings and parents (as did I.) Having been most entertained by Me Talk Pretty One Day and Barrell Fever in particular, I picked up the new book with great expectations (lower case...I did not purchase Dickens and Sedaris in tandem...) So far, it has not disappointed...

The Music Man opened to great success this weekend. We have an amazing cast, and the group has come together beautifully. I could not be more proud! We received a good review from The Birmingham News...
http://blog.al.com/scenesource/2008/06/music_man_gets_rousing_centers.html

Tomorrow (well, today, actually) I start a week-long gig teaching at the Clay County Arts Camp. I will probably wind up spending half my salary (admittedly, a generous one) in petrol, but I am looking forward to it. I will be doing quite a bit of improv, which is a particular favorite of mine...

Not much else to report...the temperature continues to inch perilously closer to 100 degrees...and it's only the first week of June...ye gods, as Zaneeta Shinn would say...

Off to sleep for a few hours and then the work week begins...c'est la vie!

NOTE: I only just now realized (11 June) that I did not include News From The Motherland previously...consider the oversight corrected as we look at George W.'s final trip as president...thank God... (okay, I promised no politics, so I'll stop there.)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7447428.stm

FLT3

Citrus Compact Cars...

2008-06-06T04:44:00.000-07:00

"Nothing too wild, now...maybe a runabout like that little white one over there..."

There's no great insight to the human condition contained in this cartoon...just a Mr. Magoo adventure that made me smile...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plyWxrHLE14&feature=related

"The Music Man" opens tonight, and I think we're in good shape. I am hopeful for a large audience, and the final dress last night went well. There were a few glitches...just enough to keep us on our toes tonight.

Not much else to report. Enjoy the cartoon! :-)

In today's News From The Motherland... "BBC The Musical?"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/7437391.stm

HILLARY IN '08!!!

FLT3