A Circle Completed

Day 13: Mad Dogs And Englishmen Go Out In The Noonday Sun.

A disclaimer for anyone who might read this. IT IS NOT DEPRESSING, I PROMISE. The way today's reflection starts out might lead one to believe that a tear-jerker approaches, but that's not the case.

Today I spent a great deal of time at my parents' house. Many of you know that my dad is in terrible health, and has been for some time. Well over a year ago, his doctor said he only had a couple of months left, so we have had him much longer than anticipated, which is truly a gift from God. At any rate, his condition is quite bad, and he's basically bedridden.

One of the challenges we face in dealing with dad is his unwillingness to eat. He seldom takes more than a bite or two of anything, and eating half a bowl of soup is cause for celebration. Today, out of nowhere, he said he thought he would eat some boiled shrimp. I beat a hasty path to The Fish Market, and said shrimp were procured. By the time I got back, he was a little groggy but still slightly hungry. To facilitate matters, I told him I would peel them and all he had to do was enjoy his lunch. Here's where the flashback begins...

When I was maybe 7 or 8, I remember dad coming home from work one day with a large plastic bag full of boiled shrimp he had bought at some sort of fund-raiser (Lion's Club, maybe?) and asking me if I would like to have some. At this point in my life I was a fan of fried shrimp, but boiled...not so sure. After a little coaxing, I agreed to try one, and was immediately a fan.

Never having been the most dextrous of kids, I soon found myself struggling with the peeeling process. Ever indulgent, dad got a little white bowl that I used to eat cereal from (wow, the things you remember) and peeled about a dozen, dropping the ready-to-eat bites into the bowl for me. I can't tell you a single thing we discussed, but I remember realizing(even at such a young age) that this was one of those really sweet and special moments in life. I can still see the crackers, tobasco, and cocktail sauce on the table, surrounded by newspaper and shrimp peelings, a large lemon slice dominating the center of the table. I can still smell the pungent scent of crab boil. I can still hear the wind blowing in the trees. (We had to eat on the patio, as my mother is violently "allergic" to the smell of anything that once swam. :-)

This little tableau dominated my thoughts as I made dad's meal easy to eat today. Now, if this was a tear-jerky "movie of the week" scenario, I would have left the room, leaned against the wall and cried piteously. However, the exact opposite took place. I felt happy.

Yes, believe it or not, I felt happy.

Those of us who are lucky enough to have long-lived parents will eventually face the role of caretaker to they who once took care. It's natural, appropriate, and the way of things. My parents have done a tremendous amount for my sister and me, and we're all too glad to give something back. Is it fun? No. Do I wish my dad could be the same funny, vibrant, happy, playful guy he was even 10 years ago? Absolutely.

Do I gladly and happily give back what little I can to a person who, patriarchy aside, was also one of my very best friends? Without a doubt.

Enough of that...I promised it wasn't sad, and I think that promise was accurate. If you found it sad, send in a refund request and you can have your money back. ;-)

In today's News From The Motherland...drunken teens run wild.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8227443.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Rainy Sunday

Day 12:
IRVING: Now, I may need your assistance in giving this shot. Are you by any chance a registered nurse?
LILA: No...but I used to be a junkie.
IRVING: Would it endanger your amateur status if I asked you to use a sterilized needle?
(from Blake Edwards' brilliant Hollywood spoof, S.O.B.)

Today has been wet, rainy and grey. While that might be a perfect prescription for depression if it happened every day, it has actually been quite cozy and cheerful. I always feel close to The Motherland when it rains, although I have spent quite a few beautiful, sunny days in Mother England. Motivated by the gloom as well as my anglophilia, I have had Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd on a constant loop while I have done various things such as cleaning the kitchen, folding clothes, etc. It's been quite nice to hear songs about murder and cannibalism while doing domestic chores.

In today's News From The Motherland...a well-attended art show.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/bristol/somerset/8230301.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Randomness Redux

Day 11: Mind The Gap.

I am passingly certain that I have titled at least one previous post "Randomness," hence the title of today's post, which I can already tell will be somewhat...well...random.

It is good to let the mind wander sometimes. While I can't say that I have created any great works of literature whilst (I know, it's affected, but I love the word "whilst") just letting my focus roam, I do believe that it has helped nurture my creativity. Free-flowing rambling can do that...

Today's newspaper has the usual assortment of cute pet photos in the LifeStyle section. Every Sunday the sweet little animals are there. There's something comforting in that.

Speaking of the newspaper, the crossword puzzles are getting too simple. I don't require a Sunday New York Times level of challenge, but neither do I want to finish in five minutes.

While (ok, I'll indulge myself) whilst still a huge fan of Jim & Nick's, I have been slightly disappointed in my last couple of trips to the bbq mecca. They appear to be getting a bit lax in re the basting of the meat in sauce while it cooks, leaving the meal as simply smoked pork with sauce poured on at serving time. REAL bbq afficionados know that the slow-cooked process involves much application of sauce during the process. The little scorched bits of end meat and caramelized sauce add immeasurably to the flavor. For the record, however, the coconut cream pie remains brilliant.

When I strike my fortune (however that may come to pass) I would love to have a driver. I know that sounds ridiculously self-indulgent, and will most likely never happen, but one of the greatest luxuries of which I can conceive is to have someone to drive me wherever I need to go. I really don't like to drive very much. I am also bad at it, as the multiple dings and scratches on my car can attest.

It's been raining a lot lately, which may portend the arrival of an early fall, which would suit me fine. I used to hate cool weather, but over the past couple of years, it has truly grown on me.

...enough randomness for now. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...the Notting Hill Carnival begins!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8228270.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

He's A Lumberjack And He's Okay...

Day 10: Ma! Ma! Where's my Pa? Gone to The White House! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
- (Slogan referencing President Grover Cleveland, who openly acknowledged and supported an illegitimate child.)

On one of the seemingly limitless excursions I make to Wal-Mart, that great temple of All That Is Needed Immediately, I ran across a DVD of Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different, which has always been one of my favorite films. (The fact that it was in the $4.95 bin sort of surprised me...I assumed that everyone shared my anglophiliac tendencies and love of '70's-era comedy. Go figure.) I bought the movie, took it home, and somewhat absent-mindedly started it playing while I puttered. I was vaguely aware of the passing of several well-known (and funny) Python sketches, and was enjoying listening in a somewhat passive sense. However, my ears soon perked up and I had to stop and watch The Lumberjack Song.

For the uninitiated, here it is. Watch and then continue reading...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg

Hilarious, isn't it? I still crack up at this song every time I hear it.

In the repeated re-watchings of the song over the fifteen or so minutes after it first played, I found myself realizing just how powerful a memory trigger music can be. When I first discovered Monty Python as a teenager, I had a cassette (yes, I'm THAT old) of Python routines that I kept in my car tape player. I probably played that tape a thousand times, and I will always associate certain Monty Python sketches with the late 1980's. Just hearing the familiar chords at the start of the song will remind me of that time, and of my first car (which also smelled strongly of Polo Green cologne, which, in the fashion of many young men of the day, I splashed on liberally and with a heavy hand. More on smells as memory triggers later.)

Just for the record, I also love The Philosopher's Song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1MgCV6uGuc&feature=related

Knights Of The Round Table...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0&feature=related

Every Sperm Is Sacred...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8&feature=related

and The Universe Song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWVshkVF0SY&feature=related

...and many, many others. The intelligence of the lyrics is a joy, and the humor is first-rate. Enjoy the links!

In today's News From The Motherland...a prisoner extends his furlough.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/8228400.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

What A Hoot

Day 9: Coffee is your friend.

Tonight I went with my good friend Goldstein to Hooter's for dinner. While pretty much everything on the menu is fried and/or full of sugar, the food tastes good and the atmosphere is fun. Yes, Hooter's remains one of the last bastions of blatant non-PC-ism, with waitresses in hot pants and tight t-shirts, and countless examples of trite "hooter as euphemism for female breast" humor adorning the t-shirts, wall plaques, and menu. What's actually quite interesting is how...well...innocent the place actually is.

While Hooter's obviously wishes to appeal to the frat-boy crowd (a crowd which swills copious amounts of beer, coincidentally) the clientele tends to include quite a few families. Kids are frequently seen at Hooter's, and I do believe birthday parties are even offered. I have seen plenty of middle-aged couples enjoying the heart attack inducing bill of fare, the women seemingly unfazed by the gentle chauvanism that prevails throughout the room. The waitresses seem to take it all with a grain of salt, maintaining a good humored but not inappropriate familiarity with the customers. I have never seen any misbehavior at a Hooter's, which bespeaks volumes...

Hooter's appears to reflect our American obsession with sexuality repressed. The sophomoric humor and oddly wholesome atmosphere seem to legitimize the playfully horny theme, allowing for a dash of naughtiness offset by childlike silliness. One can easily see why Hooter's has never spread to Europe. The Europeans have a much more grown-up and relaxed attitude towards sex, and would see no need to try and blend it with a modifying quasi-innocence.

...or maybe the Parisians and Viennese just don't like greasy wings and fried pickles.

In today's News From The Motherland...a dust-up over a comment from Madonna...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8225989.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Day 8: In The Jungle, The Quiet Jungle, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

As all both of my readers may have noticed, I have semi-established a pattern of beginning the day's commentary with a non-sequitir. A strange little comment, unrelated to the subject at hand will generally follow the day's count. Today we vary from that pattern, given the somber nature of the subject. The sleeping lion is, indeed, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy.

Given my politics, it is probably no great surprise that I am in mourning. Ted Kennedy was duly dubbed "The Liberal Lion" during his tenure in The United States Senate. Upon his passing, only two senators in the history of that august institution had served for more years than Ted. He was a fixture, an icon, and a beacon to those of us who embrace the politics of the left.

I won't digress into partisanism tonight. That is for another time, and God knows Ted had his faults and excesses. However, wherever there was a cause in favor of the little man, the oppressed, or the weak and erring, Ted was leading the charge. Whatever his issues, this son of tremendous privilege and wealth never stopped pushing for a better life for those among us who (for whatever reason) fell through the cracks. His compassion will be his legacy.

Rest in peace, Teddy. You did a good job.

In today's News From The Motherland... Mr. Brown honors Senator Kennedy.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8221801.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Comedy Tonight

Day 7: Fall is in the air.

I suppose a more apropos title for today's musings would be "Comedy Last Night," but then the reference to the song would fall apart. At any rate, last night was open mic comedy night at The Barking Kudu, and Lovey & I went to see our friend Jack Roberts perform his routine. While Jack was very funny, as were a couple of others, the overall impression I got was that the new generation of up-and-coming comedians (at least the ones doing open mic on Mondays at the Kudu) seem to think that mere repetition of profanities will pass for comedy.

Lest I appear hypocritical, I will freely admit that I can have a potty mouth. I also enjoy crude humor, but there is a BIG difference in vulgar comedy and plain vulgarity. Richard Pryor used every word in the book in his act, and some of his material was absolutely filthy, but it was hilarious because of the strong (sub)text beneath the language and subject matter. When there's nothing funny in the routine, however, tossing in a few dozen GDMFs does very little to help.

One of the things that impressed me about the good comics (Jack included) was the obvious preparation that they put into their acts. Stand-up is deceptively simple...like improv, it has to appear effortless, yet requires a huge amount of technique and talent. It seemed last night that there were several people who literally just wandered up onstage and started talking about whatever came to mind.

Not that they asked my opinion, but I think The Barking Kudu could actually turn this into something quite good. Although it is technically "open mic," there should probably be a screening process of sorts just to weed out the 20-year-old college kids who think mumbling about sex and drinking and saying f**k 300 times in one sentence equals inspired comedy.

In today's News From The Motherland... a mayor has underwear issues...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lancashire/8219619.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

I Want A Bulldog

Day 6: Collect $200 for passing Go.

It will come as no great shock to all several of my readers that I want a bulldog. To be perfectly clear, I want two bulldog puppies, to be named Churchill and Atlee or Thurston and Lovey, depending on the day. That is to say that on different days I envision them as having either set of names. Their names, once set, will not change from day to day.

Bulldogs are a sort of love-em-or-hate-em breed. Yes, they are celebrated for their flatulence, they are frequently spittle-flecked due to an alarming tendency to slobber, coupled with ownership of a tongue that usually seems to outsize a small automobile, and they require a tremendous amount of care and upkeep. Fine. I can live with all of that.

One only has to look into the scowling maw of a fussy bulldog or to gaze upon the toothy, open-mouthed smile of a joyous one to understand just how adorable these creatures can be. It may sound strange to describe their wrinkled jowls, squat bodies, and overall fireplug appearance as beautiful, but that's exactly how I see it.

For the moment, I live in an apartment which is much too small for a large dog, and Lovey has yet to completely warm to the idea of adding another pet or two to her household, which already includes a dog and a cat. That notwithstanding, I adore these sweet, pugnacious, delightful animals, and I have no doubt that one (or more) will have a place in my life at some point in time. :-)

In today's News From The Motherland... a new Olympic stamp.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8218667.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

Ten Times Your Money...

Day 5: It's interesting to note that in today's television climate The Brady Bunch would not be a large enough family to qualify for a reality show.

I thought I had struck it rich today. I was given my change at the Piggly Wiggly and among the coins was a 1944 Mercury dime. Visions of a coin collector offering thousands fueled my avaricious fantasies. I was going to make my fortune on a stroke of luck...having been handed a priceless coin as change...

After consulting Google, I now know that the coin is worth a staggering TEN TIMES it's face value! (Which is a dollar. ;-)

Lesson for the day, kids...it may sound like a great deal, multiplying your money by a factor of ten, but if all you start with is a dime, it's not that impressive.

In today's News From The Motherland...UK casualties in Afghanistan continue to climb...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8203711.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

FLAT

Day 4: Keep On The Sunny Side.

Today I had a flat tire. I don't recall the last time I had one, but it's been a while. After pondering the cosmic injustice of my having been afflicted with a problem about whose solution I know very little, I started the process of getting it repaired. That will be accomplished by tomorrow. On Monday, I re-join AAA. (Note to those who know me...take careful notice that the letter "A" appears three times.)

In today's News From The Motherland...BT discontinues recruitment plan...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8216762.stm?lsm

Cheers!
FLT3

Rain

Day 3: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?

Last night brought a somewhat torrential downpour, along with the thunder and lightning that make summer storms so glorious. Having always loved thunderstorms, I spent as much time as possible standing on my balcony, watching the sheets of water billow their way across the sky. There's always a feeling of anticipation that comes with a good storm...a hunch that something grand is about to happen.

Rain is something that has always fascinated me. I remember as a very small child rigging a garden hose to the top of my swing set so that I could stand beneath the spray and hold an umbrella. The fact that my parents found this behavior neither strange nor out of character should probably tell me something...

Sleeping during a thunderstorm comes very naturally to me. Of course, sleeping under any conditions has never been too difficult for me, either.

Enough about rain...it's just nice that we are having some. Maybe it will cool things off...I used to hate cold weather with a passion, but over the past few years, I have grown to appreciate it.

On a completely unrelated topic, a big shout-out to my good friend Darrell Cartwright, who posted the first comment yesterday, following my absence from blogging. Confirmed readers...1 and counting... :-)

In today's News From The Motherland...chicanery surrounding festival tickets.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/berkshire/8214352.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Shrew Tamed...

Day 2: So Far So Good.

Last night Lovey and I went to final dress rehearsal for Park Players' The Taming Of The Shrew, which is directed by a very good friend who invited me to come and be part of a small test audience. It was a very enjoyable, well-acted show, and I recommend it highly to any and all. Particularly impressive to me was the pacing of the show, which never slowed down. Shakespeare can become quite slow and plodding without proper pacing, and this group keeps the show moving to the unheard beat of a brisk metronome.

Tonight will take me not to the streets of Petruchio's Verona, but back to Grovers' Corners, NH, where we have 4 remaining performances of Our Town. Several friends will be there tonight, and we've all had a few nights off, so the performance should be fresh and energetic. I have truly grown to appreciate this little play which has been the bane of countless high school drama clubs. The reason for this turnaround is simple. I had never before seen anyone older than a college student play these roles, and there are points that can not be made about adulthood by those who have never experienced it. Seeing the characters come to life through the performances of age-appropriate actors has cast the entire script in a new light. I have enjoyed the experience.

In today's News From The Motherland... a crackdown on free drink night.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/8212870.stm

Cheers!
FLT3

A Marathon Begins With The First Step...

Welcome back, old readers (all five of you) and greetings to what I hope will be many new followers of my random musings! As some of you know, I have kept this blog in a very on-again-off-again manner for several years now. Well, under the influence of Julia and Julie (or is it Julie and Julia?) I am making a vow to blog every day for a year.

Do I promise anything amazing? Not at all. Will there be a running theme? Absolutely not. Will each day continue to feature the oh-so-beloved "News From The Motherland" segment? You can count on it!
For the newcomers, expect the following:

.Utterly random observations on utterly inconsequential (but hopefully interesting) everyday items and occurrences.
. Political ranting with a decidedly liberal bent.
. News of the various goings-on in the Birmingham, AL, theatre community.
. The occasional soul-baring emotional diatribe.
. Many references to "Gilligan's Island," England, Musical Theatre, Witty Things Said By My Friends, and Current Events Of The Day.

...I hope you will all enjoy and comment as often as you like. If I know someone is actually reading, I might even make it 365 days!

And now... in today's News From The Motherland, a crackdown on fund-raising "chuggers" in the London streets...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8210496.stm

FLT3