Day 48: "I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance...and I find the moment that I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical."
-Henry Higgins on the relationship between the sexes in My Fair Lady.
Well, now that Professor Higgins has brightened the day with his thoughts on love, let's take a look at something I truly adore...IRONING!!!!
I will pause for laughter here.
This week brings a fun little gig ironing costumes for the national tour of "The Color Purple." The money is quite good and my co-workers most congenial, but Sweet Mother of God, they certainly do have a lot of clothes! MY FEET ARE KILLING ME after standing and ironing all day.
I know...bitch, bitch, bitch, as they say... I may not revel in the work itself, but I look forward to the paycheck, and hey...I'm working in the arts...sort of... ;-)
The Trial Of Larry Langford continues with no real fireworks thus far. This is sure to change.
In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown encourages compromise...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8319679.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
More Noel Coward...
Day 47: Another day, another dollar.
Today I am subbing at Hueytown High School, which is my first job in the Jefferson County system. So far, so good...my classes are all listening to "To Kill A Mockingbird" on CD, which is quite pleasant. It has been years since I last read the book, yet I find myself mentally reciting along with the narrative voice whenever a favorite passage arrives. Good writing stays with one for a while...and excellent writing for a lifetime. At present, the reprehensible Bob Ewell offers his testimony.
Well, The Trial Of Larry Langford is underway, and since I have a little time on my hands, I have decided to have another go at lyric composition in the style of Noel Coward...
"Lucky Larry"
By FLT3 (with apologies to NC)
Though 'tis true that Larry would not turn up his nose
At a gift of cash or (for style and dash)
A swell new suit of clothes,
To accuse him of malfeasance, see,
Would lack a common decency,
A lapse his counsel surely would oppose.
With a strong defense in hand, which
Will set him free (most gloriously)
He'll celebrate with a fried egg sandwich
And (not to belabor it)
A Grapico (his personal favorite)
And laugh at the sentencing of Blount (the grand snitch.)
Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap, you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor
From your flagon of chicanery we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.
LaPierre made a bargain to quite sell you out,
He's a cad and a bounder, a rogue and a rounder,
With a mouth like a chasm and nose like a snout.
Though ugly and scary
He can't harm our Larry.
LaLa's followers all remain strong and devout.
To the land of Bear Bryant the trial relocated
Where publicity grew and (as everyone knew)
The ensuing enthusiasm ne'er once abated.
Larry's every caper
Made the daily newspaper
And acquittal is fervently anticipated...
Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor.
From your flagon of chicanery, we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.
In today's News From The Motherland...a clean Amy Winehouse...?
(For some reason "Copy/Paste" isn't working...will add link ASAP.)
Cheers!
FLT3
Today I am subbing at Hueytown High School, which is my first job in the Jefferson County system. So far, so good...my classes are all listening to "To Kill A Mockingbird" on CD, which is quite pleasant. It has been years since I last read the book, yet I find myself mentally reciting along with the narrative voice whenever a favorite passage arrives. Good writing stays with one for a while...and excellent writing for a lifetime. At present, the reprehensible Bob Ewell offers his testimony.
Well, The Trial Of Larry Langford is underway, and since I have a little time on my hands, I have decided to have another go at lyric composition in the style of Noel Coward...
"Lucky Larry"
By FLT3 (with apologies to NC)
Though 'tis true that Larry would not turn up his nose
At a gift of cash or (for style and dash)
A swell new suit of clothes,
To accuse him of malfeasance, see,
Would lack a common decency,
A lapse his counsel surely would oppose.
With a strong defense in hand, which
Will set him free (most gloriously)
He'll celebrate with a fried egg sandwich
And (not to belabor it)
A Grapico (his personal favorite)
And laugh at the sentencing of Blount (the grand snitch.)
Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap, you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor
From your flagon of chicanery we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.
LaPierre made a bargain to quite sell you out,
He's a cad and a bounder, a rogue and a rounder,
With a mouth like a chasm and nose like a snout.
Though ugly and scary
He can't harm our Larry.
LaLa's followers all remain strong and devout.
To the land of Bear Bryant the trial relocated
Where publicity grew and (as everyone knew)
The ensuing enthusiasm ne'er once abated.
Larry's every caper
Made the daily newspaper
And acquittal is fervently anticipated...
Oh Lucky Larry, you'll beat the rap you will.
The scales of justice will tip in your favor.
From your flagon of chicanery, we all drink our fill,
Your antics are sweet, our favorite flavor.
In today's News From The Motherland...a clean Amy Winehouse...?
(For some reason "Copy/Paste" isn't working...will add link ASAP.)
Cheers!
FLT3
Monday, October 19, 2009
A Certain Perspective...
Day 46: "I can't believe I'm saying this...but can you make him a little more Thurston Howell?"
-Jack Mann, uttering a very rare statement to FLT3 at "Dames At Sea" rehearsal.
I hope this post sparks conversation, but not any arguments...I have been thinking a lot today about the perspective one brings to an artistic evaluation. I must, unfortunately, repeat a small amount of gossip to illustrate my point. Names will be scrupulously witheld to protect friendships and feelings.
Yesterday I saw an outstanding performance of a musical revue. I went mainly to be supportive of several friends who performed in it, and to be honest, I was not sure what to expect. Several other friends (all of whom are in the Bham theatre community) had told me it was "cute," "okay," and "not bad." Nobody trashed it, but the endorsements were somewhat lukewarm. Therefore, with glad heart but moderate expectations, I bought my ticket and took my seat...
Without exaggerating, I will say that the performance I saw was on par with most of what I have seen in NYC and London. The musicianship was first-rate, the performers were energetic and committed to the choreography, and the direction was sparkling and lighthearted when appropriate, and quite touching at times. I would not have felt cheated had I paid twice the ticket price or more. It was, in a word, delightful. (Incidentally, the theatre was all but sold out, and the crowd was quite enthusiastic.)
Do I think the tepid praise I heard in advance was mean-spirited? Absolutely not. I just think that we (performers in the arts community) are sometimes less than objective when evaluating the work of our friends. This does not make anyone a bad person...it's just a fact.
There is an old saying that I love..."when you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you." (Try it...it's true...) I will admit that I have been guilty of this tendency myself. I have sometimes been a bit more harsh about performances than (in retrospect) I should have been. It just makes for an interesting point to ponder...does an artistic inclination rob one of some objectivity? As much as we all love our friends who are also our fellow performers, do we tend to hold them to a higher standard than the average audience member would?
At any rate, I was thoroughly entertained and got much more than my money's worth...and I am going to do my very best not to view the work of others from beneath an arched eybrow, so to speak...
On other subjects, I am looking forward to subbing with a new school system tomorrow. (I will continue to sub for Vestavia and Mtn. Brook, but have now added Jefferson County Schools to my list.) There is hopefully a very substantial job forthcoming...more on that as it develops...
"Dames At Sea" continues her voyage towards the stage. Tickets are going fast, so make reservations now if you are interested in seeing the show. We have only three performances, November 12, 13, and 14.
In today's News From The Motherland...Firefighters On Strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/south_yorkshire/8315417.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-Jack Mann, uttering a very rare statement to FLT3 at "Dames At Sea" rehearsal.
I hope this post sparks conversation, but not any arguments...I have been thinking a lot today about the perspective one brings to an artistic evaluation. I must, unfortunately, repeat a small amount of gossip to illustrate my point. Names will be scrupulously witheld to protect friendships and feelings.
Yesterday I saw an outstanding performance of a musical revue. I went mainly to be supportive of several friends who performed in it, and to be honest, I was not sure what to expect. Several other friends (all of whom are in the Bham theatre community) had told me it was "cute," "okay," and "not bad." Nobody trashed it, but the endorsements were somewhat lukewarm. Therefore, with glad heart but moderate expectations, I bought my ticket and took my seat...
Without exaggerating, I will say that the performance I saw was on par with most of what I have seen in NYC and London. The musicianship was first-rate, the performers were energetic and committed to the choreography, and the direction was sparkling and lighthearted when appropriate, and quite touching at times. I would not have felt cheated had I paid twice the ticket price or more. It was, in a word, delightful. (Incidentally, the theatre was all but sold out, and the crowd was quite enthusiastic.)
Do I think the tepid praise I heard in advance was mean-spirited? Absolutely not. I just think that we (performers in the arts community) are sometimes less than objective when evaluating the work of our friends. This does not make anyone a bad person...it's just a fact.
There is an old saying that I love..."when you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you." (Try it...it's true...) I will admit that I have been guilty of this tendency myself. I have sometimes been a bit more harsh about performances than (in retrospect) I should have been. It just makes for an interesting point to ponder...does an artistic inclination rob one of some objectivity? As much as we all love our friends who are also our fellow performers, do we tend to hold them to a higher standard than the average audience member would?
At any rate, I was thoroughly entertained and got much more than my money's worth...and I am going to do my very best not to view the work of others from beneath an arched eybrow, so to speak...
On other subjects, I am looking forward to subbing with a new school system tomorrow. (I will continue to sub for Vestavia and Mtn. Brook, but have now added Jefferson County Schools to my list.) There is hopefully a very substantial job forthcoming...more on that as it develops...
"Dames At Sea" continues her voyage towards the stage. Tickets are going fast, so make reservations now if you are interested in seeing the show. We have only three performances, November 12, 13, and 14.
In today's News From The Motherland...Firefighters On Strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/south_yorkshire/8315417.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, October 17, 2009
From The Deck Of The Ship...
Day 45: I remember Pensacola...
-From the musical Dames At Sea.
As I write, the cheerful tones of "Choo Choo Honeymoon" are being played and sung behind me. Yes, I am at rehearsal, and so glad of it. Dames At Sea is a musical so happy it makes Anything Goes look like an Ibsen drama...well, that's an exaggeration, but you get the point. We perform November 12-14 at Hoover Library Theatre, for those who may be interested.
Well, the Trial Of The Century begins next week, assuming Larry doesn't cop a plea. (The Larry in reference is Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford, for those who do not follow our local politics.) As blatantly guilty as he appears to be of all sorts of malfeasance, I can't help admiring (albeit with a shake of my head) a pure charlatan showman, which describes Larry to a T. He is a real-life Harold Hill, but zanier. His trial is sure to be a circus, and he may well emerge as ringmaster. More on this as it develops...
In today's News From The Motherland...shark bites man.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8312805.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-From the musical Dames At Sea.
As I write, the cheerful tones of "Choo Choo Honeymoon" are being played and sung behind me. Yes, I am at rehearsal, and so glad of it. Dames At Sea is a musical so happy it makes Anything Goes look like an Ibsen drama...well, that's an exaggeration, but you get the point. We perform November 12-14 at Hoover Library Theatre, for those who may be interested.
Well, the Trial Of The Century begins next week, assuming Larry doesn't cop a plea. (The Larry in reference is Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford, for those who do not follow our local politics.) As blatantly guilty as he appears to be of all sorts of malfeasance, I can't help admiring (albeit with a shake of my head) a pure charlatan showman, which describes Larry to a T. He is a real-life Harold Hill, but zanier. His trial is sure to be a circus, and he may well emerge as ringmaster. More on this as it develops...
In today's News From The Motherland...shark bites man.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8312805.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Remembering Jack Parrish
Day 44: Requiem In Terra Pax
It isn't often (well, this is the first time actually) that I will give over my blog to another writer, but today I feel compelled to share the news of the passing of a good friend and fine actor. I met Jack Parrish when we were both performing in "The Lost Colony" in Manteo, NC, in 1994. He was a true gentleman, both onstage and off. I had not seen him for years, but was quite saddened to hear of his death via a mutual friend, who posted the memoriam below. (Our mutual friend, for the record, was not the author...I have never met Bruce Miller, but I thank him for a wonderful remembrance.) RIP, Jack Parrish. You will be missed.
The following is written by Bruce:
Sharing the sadness that so many in the Richmond theatre community are feeling this evening, I’m sorry to report on the passing of Jack Parrish (pictured to the right with Cathy Shaffner standing and Jan Guarino in Money Matters). Jack was an outstanding Richmond theatre artist and a longtime friend to many of us who’ve been walking these boards for a while. After a lengthy battle with lung cancer, Jack only recently went into hospice care and died this afternoon.I met Jack in the early 70s when I was rising in the ranks of the theatre program at U of R and Jack was similarly placed in the theatre program at VCU. One of my favorite Jack memories from those early days was when he starred in a wonderful VCU production of As You Like It, I think during one of the FanFare summers. FanFare was VCU’s erstwhile summer theatre operation.Jack moved out of town after graduating from VCU, worked a few years in New York, landed some soap opera work, and then worked mainly in regional theatre. He played Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story, Uncle Ernie in The Who’s Tommy, Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew, and many other dashing roles (Jack was good at dashing). He appeared at prestigious professional theatres including The Alabama Shakespeare Festival, Asolo Theatre in Florida, and Mill Mountain Playhouse in Roanoke.Jack returned to Richmond in the late 80s, maybe early 90s, to star at Theatre IV as the dashing spy in the classic Civil War melodrama, Secret Service. His other major Theatre IV roles were as The Man in the Yellow Suit in Tuck Everlasting, and as an unforgettable Captain Hook in Peter Pan.At Barksdale, Jack starred in Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Little Foxes, The Crucible, James Joyce’s The Dead, Scapino!, the world premiere of Money Matters, and Anything Goes.Shortly after his foray into Cole Porter, Jack moved to Lexington KY to share a city with his great friend, Rick St. Peter, and to lead the theatre program at a local university. He returned to Richmond during the summers to star in the Henry plays at Richmond Shakespeare, having to leave his role two summers ago when he was first diagnosed and began chemotherapy.Jack also was an acclaimed director, rallying the forces of several of Theatre IV's touring productions. His contributions to Richmond theatre are immeasurable, and he will be greatly missed. Our deepest sympathies go out to Jack’s wife, Kathy, their son, Clay, and the rest of his family.With love and respect, Barksdale will dedicate The Grapes of Wrath, our upcoming co-production with TheatreVCU, to Jack’s abiding memory.--Bruce Miller
In today's News From The Motherland...Tories push for re-opening murder case...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8310722.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
It isn't often (well, this is the first time actually) that I will give over my blog to another writer, but today I feel compelled to share the news of the passing of a good friend and fine actor. I met Jack Parrish when we were both performing in "The Lost Colony" in Manteo, NC, in 1994. He was a true gentleman, both onstage and off. I had not seen him for years, but was quite saddened to hear of his death via a mutual friend, who posted the memoriam below. (Our mutual friend, for the record, was not the author...I have never met Bruce Miller, but I thank him for a wonderful remembrance.) RIP, Jack Parrish. You will be missed.
The following is written by Bruce:
Sharing the sadness that so many in the Richmond theatre community are feeling this evening, I’m sorry to report on the passing of Jack Parrish (pictured to the right with Cathy Shaffner standing and Jan Guarino in Money Matters). Jack was an outstanding Richmond theatre artist and a longtime friend to many of us who’ve been walking these boards for a while. After a lengthy battle with lung cancer, Jack only recently went into hospice care and died this afternoon.I met Jack in the early 70s when I was rising in the ranks of the theatre program at U of R and Jack was similarly placed in the theatre program at VCU. One of my favorite Jack memories from those early days was when he starred in a wonderful VCU production of As You Like It, I think during one of the FanFare summers. FanFare was VCU’s erstwhile summer theatre operation.Jack moved out of town after graduating from VCU, worked a few years in New York, landed some soap opera work, and then worked mainly in regional theatre. He played Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story, Uncle Ernie in The Who’s Tommy, Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew, and many other dashing roles (Jack was good at dashing). He appeared at prestigious professional theatres including The Alabama Shakespeare Festival, Asolo Theatre in Florida, and Mill Mountain Playhouse in Roanoke.Jack returned to Richmond in the late 80s, maybe early 90s, to star at Theatre IV as the dashing spy in the classic Civil War melodrama, Secret Service. His other major Theatre IV roles were as The Man in the Yellow Suit in Tuck Everlasting, and as an unforgettable Captain Hook in Peter Pan.At Barksdale, Jack starred in Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Little Foxes, The Crucible, James Joyce’s The Dead, Scapino!, the world premiere of Money Matters, and Anything Goes.Shortly after his foray into Cole Porter, Jack moved to Lexington KY to share a city with his great friend, Rick St. Peter, and to lead the theatre program at a local university. He returned to Richmond during the summers to star in the Henry plays at Richmond Shakespeare, having to leave his role two summers ago when he was first diagnosed and began chemotherapy.Jack also was an acclaimed director, rallying the forces of several of Theatre IV's touring productions. His contributions to Richmond theatre are immeasurable, and he will be greatly missed. Our deepest sympathies go out to Jack’s wife, Kathy, their son, Clay, and the rest of his family.With love and respect, Barksdale will dedicate The Grapes of Wrath, our upcoming co-production with TheatreVCU, to Jack’s abiding memory.--Bruce Miller
In today's News From The Motherland...Tories push for re-opening murder case...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8310722.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Hello, Again...
Day 43: Sorry I missed a week. I thought it was leap year.
-FLT3
Well, I have once again slacked off a bit in re my daily postings, but with the renewed vigor which I always bring apres-vacances I resume today. This "year" of writing may turn out to contain 500 or so days...
Rehearsal is underway for both Dames At Sea and A Christmas Story, and all is "so far so good." I took a few rehearsal photos of Dames rehearsal last night, and if I can ever figure out how to get them from cell phone to computer, I will post them.
The weather is slate grey and wet, as usual. As depressing as it may sound, I have actually been quite enjoying it. After the nuclear-hot summers we have had of late, the cool semi-darkness of a hydrated autumn is delightful.
If I am already reduced to a discussion of the weather by paragraph three, one might assume that I had little to say today. Perhaps one would be correct...
In today's News From The Motherland...a yogurt advert stirs controversy...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8305918.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-FLT3
Well, I have once again slacked off a bit in re my daily postings, but with the renewed vigor which I always bring apres-vacances I resume today. This "year" of writing may turn out to contain 500 or so days...
Rehearsal is underway for both Dames At Sea and A Christmas Story, and all is "so far so good." I took a few rehearsal photos of Dames rehearsal last night, and if I can ever figure out how to get them from cell phone to computer, I will post them.
The weather is slate grey and wet, as usual. As depressing as it may sound, I have actually been quite enjoying it. After the nuclear-hot summers we have had of late, the cool semi-darkness of a hydrated autumn is delightful.
If I am already reduced to a discussion of the weather by paragraph three, one might assume that I had little to say today. Perhaps one would be correct...
In today's News From The Motherland...a yogurt advert stirs controversy...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8305918.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
A Brief Hello
Day 42: Come dancing...
-The Kinks
The above quote merely points out the fact that I like the song. It has nothing to do with actual dancing, which is not my strongest talent, to put it mildly...
Tonight brought another rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which has left the "Echo Waltz" as well as the title number playing on a semi-perpetual loop inside my head. This time last year it was providing GREASE tunes, which were ever so slowly transforming into the WWII-era tunes of THE 1940's RADIO HOUR. Such is the soundtrack of my life...
Nothing terribly interesting or unusual today. This is not a bad thing.
In today's News From The Motherland...Royal Mail workers strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8296660.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-The Kinks
The above quote merely points out the fact that I like the song. It has nothing to do with actual dancing, which is not my strongest talent, to put it mildly...
Tonight brought another rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which has left the "Echo Waltz" as well as the title number playing on a semi-perpetual loop inside my head. This time last year it was providing GREASE tunes, which were ever so slowly transforming into the WWII-era tunes of THE 1940's RADIO HOUR. Such is the soundtrack of my life...
Nothing terribly interesting or unusual today. This is not a bad thing.
In today's News From The Motherland...Royal Mail workers strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8296660.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Dames At Sea and BCT
Day 41: HINES: I told you once...I'm not jealous!
GLADYS: I didn't say you were jealous, Vernon, I said you were drunk!
HINES: Well, you can't have everything...
-From the musical The Pajama Game.
Tonight brought the second rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which shows a great deal of promise. The cast is small (only 6 actors) and everyone in it (with due modesty) is extremely talented and the show itself is delightful. We perform in November at Hoover Library Theatre...only three performances...get your tickets now...
I am playing a dual role, which is always fun. In the first act, I am Hennesey, the highly stressed theatrical producer, and in the second act, the clueless/befuddled ship's captain. Both roles are going to be very enjoyable to play, but at first glance, The Captain is my favorite.
Today also brings a costume fitting for the previously-heralded SANTA IN SPACE at Bham Children's Theatre. I have no idea how the playwright has managed to launch Pere Noel into the ionosphere, but I am sure it will be a show the kids will enjoy. We perform in the "Wee Folks" theatre, which is an intimate space, to say the least. Having done Wee Folks shows before, I feel qualified to state that there is no theatrical venue (at least not in my experience) that provides such...shall we say...immediate feedback on one's performance. Playing in a very small space is sometimes a bit claustrophobic under any circumstances, but when the average audience member is six years old...believe me, you know pretty quickly when they have lost their focus.
As silly as it may sound, children's shows sometimes force the best and most considered acting. Adults will usually politely accept a decent but not brilliant performance. With kids, you have to stay on your game from entrance to exit. ;-)
Onward, onward...
In today's News From The Motherland... a new role for a Tory leader...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8294670.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
GLADYS: I didn't say you were jealous, Vernon, I said you were drunk!
HINES: Well, you can't have everything...
-From the musical The Pajama Game.
Tonight brought the second rehearsal for DAMES AT SEA, which shows a great deal of promise. The cast is small (only 6 actors) and everyone in it (with due modesty) is extremely talented and the show itself is delightful. We perform in November at Hoover Library Theatre...only three performances...get your tickets now...
I am playing a dual role, which is always fun. In the first act, I am Hennesey, the highly stressed theatrical producer, and in the second act, the clueless/befuddled ship's captain. Both roles are going to be very enjoyable to play, but at first glance, The Captain is my favorite.
Today also brings a costume fitting for the previously-heralded SANTA IN SPACE at Bham Children's Theatre. I have no idea how the playwright has managed to launch Pere Noel into the ionosphere, but I am sure it will be a show the kids will enjoy. We perform in the "Wee Folks" theatre, which is an intimate space, to say the least. Having done Wee Folks shows before, I feel qualified to state that there is no theatrical venue (at least not in my experience) that provides such...shall we say...immediate feedback on one's performance. Playing in a very small space is sometimes a bit claustrophobic under any circumstances, but when the average audience member is six years old...believe me, you know pretty quickly when they have lost their focus.
As silly as it may sound, children's shows sometimes force the best and most considered acting. Adults will usually politely accept a decent but not brilliant performance. With kids, you have to stay on your game from entrance to exit. ;-)
Onward, onward...
In today's News From The Motherland... a new role for a Tory leader...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8294670.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Monday, October 05, 2009
Redefining Age
Day 40: If they say I'm too old for you,
Then I shall answer "Why, sir!
One never drinks the wine that's new...
The old ones taste much nicer!
-From the musical "The Boy Friend."
This evening after rehearsal, I was talking to my good friend Goldstein about the concept of age. He and I agreed that while we are (as they say) "eyballing forty," we really don't feel much older than we did in college. This is not the first time I have had this conversation, and it seems that most people within my demographic do not truly view themselves as "middle aged." When we were teenagers, forty seemed (to paraphrase Garrison Keillor) unspeakably ancient, old, degenerate...and now it seems about my age.
I distinctly remember when Dear Old Dad turned forty...I was about eight years old, and could not comprehend why he chose to spend a sparkling, cheerful, two-weeks-before-Christmas weekend just lying on the couch and looking morose. I seem to recall going into the den and poking him with a stick or doing something comparably horrible...to which his only response was something along the lines of "enjoy being young while you can." After a few days of delicious self-pity, he pulled himself out of the ashes and soldiered on, regaining a good 98% of his former cheerfulness, which was still quite ample. In a typical moment of wisdom and insight, he assured me that there would be no more gloomy birthdays for him. Each of us has that one natal anniversary circled in black, and once it has passed, no others can harm us. At the time I was mystified by the concept of depression following a birthday.
My personal bete noir was thirty-five. It knocked me down for the count, and I followed my paternal example and wallowed in my decrepitude for a few days, and then rejoined the world with joie de vivre relatively intact. As forty approaches, I scoff at it. I thumb my nose. I guffaw in the visage of my fortieth year. I might even work up a respectable chortle.
I will neither belabor the point nor dredge up an old discussion, but I must admit that I keep returning to the "Cougar Town" posting of a couple of weeks ago. Again, I am finding levels of inaccuracy heretofore undiscovered. If so many people in my age group are either miserable, desperate, sexually frustrated beyond redemption, or over-the-hill, I have mercifully been spared their company. May that blessing continue.
One final point to share here, and I must give credit where it is due...this is Goldsteinian philosophy. It is not entirely applicable to age, but it holds at least a tangential connection. I have dubbed it "Stein's Theory of Relativity" and I expect it to overtake Einstein's any day now...
When people say how much faster time passes with age, they are correct from a certain point of view. When one is ten years old, a year is one tenth of one's life. When one is forty, one year is one fortieth of the life lived so far. Time DOES move faster when measured against one's entire life to date. It's all perspective.
In today's News From The Motherland...tougher gun laws?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8292525.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Then I shall answer "Why, sir!
One never drinks the wine that's new...
The old ones taste much nicer!
-From the musical "The Boy Friend."
This evening after rehearsal, I was talking to my good friend Goldstein about the concept of age. He and I agreed that while we are (as they say) "eyballing forty," we really don't feel much older than we did in college. This is not the first time I have had this conversation, and it seems that most people within my demographic do not truly view themselves as "middle aged." When we were teenagers, forty seemed (to paraphrase Garrison Keillor) unspeakably ancient, old, degenerate...and now it seems about my age.
I distinctly remember when Dear Old Dad turned forty...I was about eight years old, and could not comprehend why he chose to spend a sparkling, cheerful, two-weeks-before-Christmas weekend just lying on the couch and looking morose. I seem to recall going into the den and poking him with a stick or doing something comparably horrible...to which his only response was something along the lines of "enjoy being young while you can." After a few days of delicious self-pity, he pulled himself out of the ashes and soldiered on, regaining a good 98% of his former cheerfulness, which was still quite ample. In a typical moment of wisdom and insight, he assured me that there would be no more gloomy birthdays for him. Each of us has that one natal anniversary circled in black, and once it has passed, no others can harm us. At the time I was mystified by the concept of depression following a birthday.
My personal bete noir was thirty-five. It knocked me down for the count, and I followed my paternal example and wallowed in my decrepitude for a few days, and then rejoined the world with joie de vivre relatively intact. As forty approaches, I scoff at it. I thumb my nose. I guffaw in the visage of my fortieth year. I might even work up a respectable chortle.
I will neither belabor the point nor dredge up an old discussion, but I must admit that I keep returning to the "Cougar Town" posting of a couple of weeks ago. Again, I am finding levels of inaccuracy heretofore undiscovered. If so many people in my age group are either miserable, desperate, sexually frustrated beyond redemption, or over-the-hill, I have mercifully been spared their company. May that blessing continue.
One final point to share here, and I must give credit where it is due...this is Goldsteinian philosophy. It is not entirely applicable to age, but it holds at least a tangential connection. I have dubbed it "Stein's Theory of Relativity" and I expect it to overtake Einstein's any day now...
When people say how much faster time passes with age, they are correct from a certain point of view. When one is ten years old, a year is one tenth of one's life. When one is forty, one year is one fortieth of the life lived so far. Time DOES move faster when measured against one's entire life to date. It's all perspective.
In today's News From The Motherland...tougher gun laws?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8292525.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Sunday, October 04, 2009
My Man Godfrey
Day 39: "Where we used to have grocery stores, we now have liquor stores on every corner."
-Mentioned in a local politician's pitch for election. I wonder if that is good or bad...
I watched an old favorite this evening...MY MAN GODFREY with William Powell and Carole Lombard. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it highly. Yes, it's old, the acting is stilted, the script is far-fetched, and the glimpse into the inner workings of a moneyed but eccentric family is completely cartoonish.
It's wonderful. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...Happy Birthday, Monty Python!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/montypython/
Cheers!
FLT3
-Mentioned in a local politician's pitch for election. I wonder if that is good or bad...
I watched an old favorite this evening...MY MAN GODFREY with William Powell and Carole Lombard. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it highly. Yes, it's old, the acting is stilted, the script is far-fetched, and the glimpse into the inner workings of a moneyed but eccentric family is completely cartoonish.
It's wonderful. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...Happy Birthday, Monty Python!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/montypython/
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Smarties
Day 39: Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker
-Anonymous and oft-quoted.
Today's post is about candy. My sister and I have been discussing those sweet treats of childhood that still cling to the memory...my personal favorite to this day is called "Bottle Caps," and offers a series of soda-esque flavored discs in the shape of (you guessed it) a bottle cap. Her confection of choice is called "Smarties" and is quite comparable...small, sugar-constituted discs of joy, but not shaped like bottle caps.
"Candy" in the vernacular of ma soeur et moi, is applied only to sugary, most likely fruit-flavored, non-dairy sweets. A chocolate bar is "chocolate," and while delightful, has little in common with "candy." By the same token, an offer of a "Coke" is purely for a soft drink, with "Coke" being the cognomen for all things fizzy, sweet, and sold in bottles or cans.
Enough of this. Enjoy the sweet of your choice today. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a shot in the dark, so to speak...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8289474.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-Anonymous and oft-quoted.
Today's post is about candy. My sister and I have been discussing those sweet treats of childhood that still cling to the memory...my personal favorite to this day is called "Bottle Caps," and offers a series of soda-esque flavored discs in the shape of (you guessed it) a bottle cap. Her confection of choice is called "Smarties" and is quite comparable...small, sugar-constituted discs of joy, but not shaped like bottle caps.
"Candy" in the vernacular of ma soeur et moi, is applied only to sugary, most likely fruit-flavored, non-dairy sweets. A chocolate bar is "chocolate," and while delightful, has little in common with "candy." By the same token, an offer of a "Coke" is purely for a soft drink, with "Coke" being the cognomen for all things fizzy, sweet, and sold in bottles or cans.
Enough of this. Enjoy the sweet of your choice today. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a shot in the dark, so to speak...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8289474.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, October 02, 2009
A Song For Kim D...
Day 38: The optimist wakes up and says "Good Morning, God." The pessimist says "Good God, Morning." I don't recall where I heard that, but I've always liked it...
This morning on FaceBook, my good friend/adopted sister Kim D was bemoaning her fate...working retail. We've all been there before, and we all know it can be rather trying. I thought a little something in the style of Noel Coward might amuse her and make the day a bit brighter... :-)
"Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand"
(by FLT3 with apologies to NC)
When ringing the clothes
Or hankies for the nose
Of the lady with the charge plate in hand,
I often reinforce myself
More specifically, re-course myself
Towards the oldest respite in the land...
A slug of gin
Will quite do in
Any of the workaday blues.
And a beer surreptitious
Is always delicious
While dealing with the afternoon to-do's.
From dustman to surgeon
They all must submerge in
The claret from time to time,
And be not perjorative
Re the powers restorative
Of a lightly chilled vodka and lime...
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand
Is what maintains civility
To the best of ability
Throughout this sceptered land.
'Tis no jest or joke,
That a bourbon and coke
Keeps a smile on the face and a pistol out of hand.
When an elderly matron is shouting with anger
And you wish she were bludgeoned or banned...
Don't bother to ask,
Take a nip from your flask,
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand...
In today's News From The Motherland...a new direction for The Evening Standard...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8286660.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
This morning on FaceBook, my good friend/adopted sister Kim D was bemoaning her fate...working retail. We've all been there before, and we all know it can be rather trying. I thought a little something in the style of Noel Coward might amuse her and make the day a bit brighter... :-)
"Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand"
(by FLT3 with apologies to NC)
When ringing the clothes
Or hankies for the nose
Of the lady with the charge plate in hand,
I often reinforce myself
More specifically, re-course myself
Towards the oldest respite in the land...
A slug of gin
Will quite do in
Any of the workaday blues.
And a beer surreptitious
Is always delicious
While dealing with the afternoon to-do's.
From dustman to surgeon
They all must submerge in
The claret from time to time,
And be not perjorative
Re the powers restorative
Of a lightly chilled vodka and lime...
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand
Is what maintains civility
To the best of ability
Throughout this sceptered land.
'Tis no jest or joke,
That a bourbon and coke
Keeps a smile on the face and a pistol out of hand.
When an elderly matron is shouting with anger
And you wish she were bludgeoned or banned...
Don't bother to ask,
Take a nip from your flask,
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand...
In today's News From The Motherland...a new direction for The Evening Standard...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8286660.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Garment Thoughts...
Day 37: Be an example to your sex,
Give your boot a dapper strap,
And it's smarter if your garter has some snap!
Cravats should be flounced about our necks,
Draw your breeches in quite tight.
Even more so and your torso will ignite!
Now drape your cape and fluff your cuff,
And let your waistcoat swing,
Then the jungle will bow to it's king...
La! But someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes...
That is why the Lord created man...
- from The Scarlet Pimpernel:The Musical
As anyone who read my status today knows, I just purchased a new white dinner jacket online. (Well, it's actually not brand new, but new to me...) I have owned several throughout the years, as much for real life wear as for costume/stage purposes, and they never cease to fascinate me.
There's something about a white dinner jacket that transcends the effect of any other formal garment. A traditional evening outfit is classic and delightful, and I always feel spiffy in a tuxedo. A morning suit is even better...charcoal pinstripes, a cutaway and a cravat can not be underestimated.
But then...there's a crisply pressed pair of black pants, a starched white dress shirt and a black bow tie, topped off with the aforementioned white dinner jacket... It's hard not to feel good about one's self when so attired. It may sound odd, but it's true (at least from my perspective.)
Obviously, the Thurston Howell III imagery is there...but it also brings to mind the thought of an Edwardian dinner dance in a grand London ballroom...or an outdoor reception in the springtime...or even an intimate dinner party with friends, where a touch of playful overdressing seems in order.
I've just now realized that a white dinner jacket represents happiness to me. Plain and simple...if you're wearing one, you're most likely going to attend some sort of festive, happy event with more than a dash of playfulness about it. One does not wear such a garment to funerals, arraignments, or to have a root canal. (Although it might make a visit to the dentist much more fun.)
Clothing is quite powerful when one stops to consider... I have several "I look and feel good about myself" outfits. These include:
. Khakis and either a white or blue button-down shirt. I sometimes jokingly refer to this as my "uniform," and that's really sort of true. This is a basic look, but one that will go almost anywhere...dress it up with a blue blazer or just roll up the sleeves for a more casual look.
. Grey suit. Traditional cut, fresh from the cleaners. Add a regimental tie (green and blue is a particular fave) with French cuff shirt and newly polished shoes. It's impossible not to feel important in a nice suit, even if you're only going to church or dinner.
.Hawiian shirts. Everyone needs to cut loose every now and then.
.Brown tweed jacket and bow tie. If I feel particularly whimsical, I might even add a pair of tortoise-shell glasses just for fun. Add tweed driving cap if it's a particularly British day (and what day isn't?)
...and the list goes on. While clothing was originally intended for warmth alone, one has to wonder if some Paleolithic Adolphe Menjou or Beau Brummell added dinosaur teeth to his fur cassock to make himself feel good. (Yes, I know the history is unsound, but that's not the point...)
Again, time for a reader's poll...what garment(s) do you have that make YOU feel pretty, handsome, full of life, etc.? I will look forward to your answers.
In today's News From The Motherland...UK charities rise to the cause...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8285409.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Give your boot a dapper strap,
And it's smarter if your garter has some snap!
Cravats should be flounced about our necks,
Draw your breeches in quite tight.
Even more so and your torso will ignite!
Now drape your cape and fluff your cuff,
And let your waistcoat swing,
Then the jungle will bow to it's king...
La! But someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes...
That is why the Lord created man...
- from The Scarlet Pimpernel:The Musical
As anyone who read my status today knows, I just purchased a new white dinner jacket online. (Well, it's actually not brand new, but new to me...) I have owned several throughout the years, as much for real life wear as for costume/stage purposes, and they never cease to fascinate me.
There's something about a white dinner jacket that transcends the effect of any other formal garment. A traditional evening outfit is classic and delightful, and I always feel spiffy in a tuxedo. A morning suit is even better...charcoal pinstripes, a cutaway and a cravat can not be underestimated.
But then...there's a crisply pressed pair of black pants, a starched white dress shirt and a black bow tie, topped off with the aforementioned white dinner jacket... It's hard not to feel good about one's self when so attired. It may sound odd, but it's true (at least from my perspective.)
Obviously, the Thurston Howell III imagery is there...but it also brings to mind the thought of an Edwardian dinner dance in a grand London ballroom...or an outdoor reception in the springtime...or even an intimate dinner party with friends, where a touch of playful overdressing seems in order.
I've just now realized that a white dinner jacket represents happiness to me. Plain and simple...if you're wearing one, you're most likely going to attend some sort of festive, happy event with more than a dash of playfulness about it. One does not wear such a garment to funerals, arraignments, or to have a root canal. (Although it might make a visit to the dentist much more fun.)
Clothing is quite powerful when one stops to consider... I have several "I look and feel good about myself" outfits. These include:
. Khakis and either a white or blue button-down shirt. I sometimes jokingly refer to this as my "uniform," and that's really sort of true. This is a basic look, but one that will go almost anywhere...dress it up with a blue blazer or just roll up the sleeves for a more casual look.
. Grey suit. Traditional cut, fresh from the cleaners. Add a regimental tie (green and blue is a particular fave) with French cuff shirt and newly polished shoes. It's impossible not to feel important in a nice suit, even if you're only going to church or dinner.
.Hawiian shirts. Everyone needs to cut loose every now and then.
.Brown tweed jacket and bow tie. If I feel particularly whimsical, I might even add a pair of tortoise-shell glasses just for fun. Add tweed driving cap if it's a particularly British day (and what day isn't?)
...and the list goes on. While clothing was originally intended for warmth alone, one has to wonder if some Paleolithic Adolphe Menjou or Beau Brummell added dinosaur teeth to his fur cassock to make himself feel good. (Yes, I know the history is unsound, but that's not the point...)
Again, time for a reader's poll...what garment(s) do you have that make YOU feel pretty, handsome, full of life, etc.? I will look forward to your answers.
In today's News From The Motherland...UK charities rise to the cause...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8285409.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Musings...
Day 36: To everything, turn,turn,turn...there is a season, turn,turn,turn...
I have been reflective today. Somewhat melancholy (which I will try and spare my readers) yet hopeful (which I will do my best to share.) I have been pondering the general arc of life, and the strange turns it can take...nothing that will change the nature of man...just personal musings...
Each day is a crapshoot. You never know when you wake up in the morning if today is the day you get hit by a bus or hit the lottery...sometimes the worst morning can bring joy with the setting of the sun, while at other times you can really feel like it's all smooth sailing through calm seas...until the raft sinks unexpectedly (yes, that was a Gilligan reference...bonus points for anyone who can name the episode... ;-)
I suppose that's what makes the world interesting. I remember reading one of those little books of questions that make plane travel and jury duty bearable...you know the kind I mean...and one of the questions was "Would you rather have a flat, predictable, but relatively dull life or one filled with great successes and amazing failures?" Well, anyone who has known me for more than six minutes would quickly realize that the former, while perfect for some, would not be my first choice. Granted, NEITHER is ideal...they are both on the fringes of extreme. They do, however, make for an interesting point to ponder.
There's a marvelous little song in Lerner & Loewe's Gigi called "It's A Bore." In the song, bon vivant Honore Lachailles is trying to cheer up his nephew, Gaston, who is much more staid of nature than his uncle. A quote:
HONORE: Look at Paris in the spring,
When each solitary thing
Is more beautiful than ever before...
You can hear every tree almost saying "look at me!"
GASTON: What color are the trees?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: What color were they last year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: And next year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: It's a bore...
(My apologies for the above quote which I thought would round out the discussion, but upon refelction it doesn't exactly apply. However, it's still a nice little tune. It will be in my head today :-)
Enough prattling on my part. I may have had a point, but it has gotten off-track.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Welsh politician calls it quits...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/wales_politics/8283538.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
I have been reflective today. Somewhat melancholy (which I will try and spare my readers) yet hopeful (which I will do my best to share.) I have been pondering the general arc of life, and the strange turns it can take...nothing that will change the nature of man...just personal musings...
Each day is a crapshoot. You never know when you wake up in the morning if today is the day you get hit by a bus or hit the lottery...sometimes the worst morning can bring joy with the setting of the sun, while at other times you can really feel like it's all smooth sailing through calm seas...until the raft sinks unexpectedly (yes, that was a Gilligan reference...bonus points for anyone who can name the episode... ;-)
I suppose that's what makes the world interesting. I remember reading one of those little books of questions that make plane travel and jury duty bearable...you know the kind I mean...and one of the questions was "Would you rather have a flat, predictable, but relatively dull life or one filled with great successes and amazing failures?" Well, anyone who has known me for more than six minutes would quickly realize that the former, while perfect for some, would not be my first choice. Granted, NEITHER is ideal...they are both on the fringes of extreme. They do, however, make for an interesting point to ponder.
There's a marvelous little song in Lerner & Loewe's Gigi called "It's A Bore." In the song, bon vivant Honore Lachailles is trying to cheer up his nephew, Gaston, who is much more staid of nature than his uncle. A quote:
HONORE: Look at Paris in the spring,
When each solitary thing
Is more beautiful than ever before...
You can hear every tree almost saying "look at me!"
GASTON: What color are the trees?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: What color were they last year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: And next year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: It's a bore...
(My apologies for the above quote which I thought would round out the discussion, but upon refelction it doesn't exactly apply. However, it's still a nice little tune. It will be in my head today :-)
Enough prattling on my part. I may have had a point, but it has gotten off-track.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Welsh politician calls it quits...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/wales_politics/8283538.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Film Comments...
Day 35: Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors,
Coming home across the briny sea!
When the anchor's weighed and the journey's made,
Then we'll start the party with a "Heave-Ho Me Hearty!"
Forty-Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us!
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors!
-British novelty song, circa 1910.
I have missed a couple of days. Apologies.
I usually begin my post closest to Sidewalk with a quote from Aaron White... "Oh, I had me a time at the Sidewalk..." This year was delightful, but I only actually attended one film, given Lovey's illness and the weather. It was, however, a good one...
We saw a documentary on the world of role-playing games. (The kind with people around a card table rolling dice to see what the knight or spaceman does next...not the sexy kind.) I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse at this little world that exists far beyond what I imagined to be a somewhat silly game played by chubby teenagers and nerdy college students. These people take their gaming very seriously.
I won't go into a lot of detail here, but the film was immensely entertaining and a bit tragic at times. All the cliches were there...the not-so-pretty girl who paints herself solid black to get into character as a dark elf, the overgrown geeky guy who slaves away over a most-likely-less-than-wonderful novel while schlepping through life, and the quirky nudist (yes, I said nudist) who takes an almost unhealthy delight in "killing" other characters. Odd to a (wo)man, but each with some sort of endearing quality...not quite pathos, but close...they were the sort of people you just wanted to hug and take in hand.
But would you really? Are these strange folks basically happy? Do we allow their daily travails (normal ones, mostly) to appear more tragic because of their gamer/nerd-dom? On the other hand, do we see their travails because they are so plentiful? Is a Dungeons And Dragons game the gateway to escape for these socially awkward people? (I'm not being mean, nor am I implying that everyone who plays these games is socially inept...but the three individuals in the film definitely were.)
Like everyone else, I assume they are a mixture of every point along the continuum of human emotion. Here endeth the observation.
In today's News From The Motherland...a giant fish emperiled...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8269000/8269414.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Coming home across the briny sea!
When the anchor's weighed and the journey's made,
Then we'll start the party with a "Heave-Ho Me Hearty!"
Forty-Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us!
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors!
-British novelty song, circa 1910.
I have missed a couple of days. Apologies.
I usually begin my post closest to Sidewalk with a quote from Aaron White... "Oh, I had me a time at the Sidewalk..." This year was delightful, but I only actually attended one film, given Lovey's illness and the weather. It was, however, a good one...
We saw a documentary on the world of role-playing games. (The kind with people around a card table rolling dice to see what the knight or spaceman does next...not the sexy kind.) I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse at this little world that exists far beyond what I imagined to be a somewhat silly game played by chubby teenagers and nerdy college students. These people take their gaming very seriously.
I won't go into a lot of detail here, but the film was immensely entertaining and a bit tragic at times. All the cliches were there...the not-so-pretty girl who paints herself solid black to get into character as a dark elf, the overgrown geeky guy who slaves away over a most-likely-less-than-wonderful novel while schlepping through life, and the quirky nudist (yes, I said nudist) who takes an almost unhealthy delight in "killing" other characters. Odd to a (wo)man, but each with some sort of endearing quality...not quite pathos, but close...they were the sort of people you just wanted to hug and take in hand.
But would you really? Are these strange folks basically happy? Do we allow their daily travails (normal ones, mostly) to appear more tragic because of their gamer/nerd-dom? On the other hand, do we see their travails because they are so plentiful? Is a Dungeons And Dragons game the gateway to escape for these socially awkward people? (I'm not being mean, nor am I implying that everyone who plays these games is socially inept...but the three individuals in the film definitely were.)
Like everyone else, I assume they are a mixture of every point along the continuum of human emotion. Here endeth the observation.
In today's News From The Motherland...a giant fish emperiled...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8269000/8269414.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Telling The Truth
Day 34: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
- Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory
Today's topic is the truth. As in, I am not telling the truth when I date this post for Saturday. It is being written and back-dated on Sunday. Now that the pesky disclaimers are out of the way, I can talk about Saturday and use the word "yesterday" instead of "today," and Sunday will not have to be called "tomorrow." That's just too much trouble for a ruse that is neither amusing nor profitable...
Yesterday (Saturday) seemed to bear out the theory that I am simply not destined to grace the interior of a college football arena. As with last week's cancelled trip to the old alma mater, my weekend excursion to Auburn was scotched at the semi-last minute. Flu-like symptoms from Lovey prevented her going, I asked another friend but did not hear back, and then my prospective hosts sent me a text saying that while I was still certainly invited, the weather forecast was for a 100% chance of rain at kickoff.
God and The Universe do not have to beat me about the head.
After all was said and done, Lovey recovered somewhat and we enjoyed a small outing to the Sidewalk Film Festival and took in a movie (which I will discuss in greater detail in Sunday's post) and stopped by the Greek Food Festival for a bite to eat. A low-key, early evening seems to have put her back in the pink of health, and the only casualty was what would have been a delightful visit with good friends. I have great faith that many such visits lie ahead, however...
Our read-through for Dames At Sea went extremely well, and I am looking forward to playing the dual role of Hennesey/Captain. The cast is extremely talented, and we are in the hands of a first-rate production staff, so I forsee a total success.
In today's News From The Motherland...Madonna tops the charts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277463.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
- Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory
Today's topic is the truth. As in, I am not telling the truth when I date this post for Saturday. It is being written and back-dated on Sunday. Now that the pesky disclaimers are out of the way, I can talk about Saturday and use the word "yesterday" instead of "today," and Sunday will not have to be called "tomorrow." That's just too much trouble for a ruse that is neither amusing nor profitable...
Yesterday (Saturday) seemed to bear out the theory that I am simply not destined to grace the interior of a college football arena. As with last week's cancelled trip to the old alma mater, my weekend excursion to Auburn was scotched at the semi-last minute. Flu-like symptoms from Lovey prevented her going, I asked another friend but did not hear back, and then my prospective hosts sent me a text saying that while I was still certainly invited, the weather forecast was for a 100% chance of rain at kickoff.
God and The Universe do not have to beat me about the head.
After all was said and done, Lovey recovered somewhat and we enjoyed a small outing to the Sidewalk Film Festival and took in a movie (which I will discuss in greater detail in Sunday's post) and stopped by the Greek Food Festival for a bite to eat. A low-key, early evening seems to have put her back in the pink of health, and the only casualty was what would have been a delightful visit with good friends. I have great faith that many such visits lie ahead, however...
Our read-through for Dames At Sea went extremely well, and I am looking forward to playing the dual role of Hennesey/Captain. The cast is extremely talented, and we are in the hands of a first-rate production staff, so I forsee a total success.
In today's News From The Motherland...Madonna tops the charts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277463.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, September 25, 2009
Won't You Take Me To (Or Away From) Cougar Town?
Day 33: Everybody's working for the weekend...
I have been following a discussion on Facebook about the tv show "Cougar Town," starring Courtney Cox. (With a particular nod to Lovey for her very insightful thoughts.) After commenting on the subject on FB, it struck me that "Cougar Town" might be a good topic for today's post...
Without getting too repetitive for those who may have seen my earlier comment, I will admit to having found it amusing. Is it great literature? Will it be remembered for ages to come? Will Courtney even list it on her resume? A resounding and emphatic "hell, no" to all three. It's a fun little diversion best served with a couple of drinks and some popcorn.
Probing deeper, however, I do completely understand how it could be off-putting and even offensive to women, particularly those in the age group represented by the main character. From a male perspective, however, my main argument is with the completely erroneous image it projects about 40-something women. To portray them as desperate, grasping hags-on-the-rise who are so starved for affection they resort to chasing high school students is absurd. Unless I have been injected with some sort of sight-altering potion, there are about a bajillion extremely sexy, desirable, any-man-would-be-lucky-to-have-them 40-and-older women out there. Courtney Cox, for example, is (in my opinion) infinitely more attractive than she was in the "Friends" era.
Our national obsession with youth is creating a culture which blindly accepts 40 as "old." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I do not pretend to speak for my gender, but I would be very shocked if most men with the brains God gave a turnip would disagree. Yes, the 22-year-old cupcake in Maxim is pretty, but would you REALLY be attracted to her in person? Wouldn't a grown woman with life experience and an IQ be much sexier? I certainly think so.
Sexy, like so many other qualities is completely subjective. The writers of "Cougar Town" could accept this and open up the storyline to include a much broader base of experiences, while still staying true to the show's title. Sure, have the occasional fling with a boy toy, if it works for the character. Why not, however, add a plotline with a couple-of-a-certain-age working well and loving each other? I know that isn't as exciting to some, but it would add some much-needed texture to the show. Retread "Sex And The City" jokes are only going to carry them so far.
Yes, it's completely off-base and insular with respect (or lack thereof) to adult women who can actually buy alcohol and vote. That view will eventually wreck the show if a broader vision is not included soon. A one-trick pony show won't run after everyone in town has seen the trick, especially if the trick isn't remotely accurate. (OK, the metaphor broke down, but you get the point...)
I did find the libidinous teenager stealing the signs hysterical.
In today's News From The Motherland...an impromptu drive in window.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/8274635.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
I have been following a discussion on Facebook about the tv show "Cougar Town," starring Courtney Cox. (With a particular nod to Lovey for her very insightful thoughts.) After commenting on the subject on FB, it struck me that "Cougar Town" might be a good topic for today's post...
Without getting too repetitive for those who may have seen my earlier comment, I will admit to having found it amusing. Is it great literature? Will it be remembered for ages to come? Will Courtney even list it on her resume? A resounding and emphatic "hell, no" to all three. It's a fun little diversion best served with a couple of drinks and some popcorn.
Probing deeper, however, I do completely understand how it could be off-putting and even offensive to women, particularly those in the age group represented by the main character. From a male perspective, however, my main argument is with the completely erroneous image it projects about 40-something women. To portray them as desperate, grasping hags-on-the-rise who are so starved for affection they resort to chasing high school students is absurd. Unless I have been injected with some sort of sight-altering potion, there are about a bajillion extremely sexy, desirable, any-man-would-be-lucky-to-have-them 40-and-older women out there. Courtney Cox, for example, is (in my opinion) infinitely more attractive than she was in the "Friends" era.
Our national obsession with youth is creating a culture which blindly accepts 40 as "old." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I do not pretend to speak for my gender, but I would be very shocked if most men with the brains God gave a turnip would disagree. Yes, the 22-year-old cupcake in Maxim is pretty, but would you REALLY be attracted to her in person? Wouldn't a grown woman with life experience and an IQ be much sexier? I certainly think so.
Sexy, like so many other qualities is completely subjective. The writers of "Cougar Town" could accept this and open up the storyline to include a much broader base of experiences, while still staying true to the show's title. Sure, have the occasional fling with a boy toy, if it works for the character. Why not, however, add a plotline with a couple-of-a-certain-age working well and loving each other? I know that isn't as exciting to some, but it would add some much-needed texture to the show. Retread "Sex And The City" jokes are only going to carry them so far.
Yes, it's completely off-base and insular with respect (or lack thereof) to adult women who can actually buy alcohol and vote. That view will eventually wreck the show if a broader vision is not included soon. A one-trick pony show won't run after everyone in town has seen the trick, especially if the trick isn't remotely accurate. (OK, the metaphor broke down, but you get the point...)
I did find the libidinous teenager stealing the signs hysterical.
In today's News From The Motherland...an impromptu drive in window.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/8274635.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Second Attempt...
Day 32: C is for cookie...and I am trying to resist that temptation.
Well, for all my readers who were disappointed that I did not make it to the UA game last weekend, take heart...tomorrow brings an exodus (well, if Lovey and I count as an exodus...perhaps an exodette?) to Auburn to watch them defeat...whoever it is they are playing...
Perhaps a bit of back-story is due here. One of my very best friends is a strong Auburn alum, and has kindly invited us down for the game and post-game festivities, which sound like great fun. Obviously, the universe is telling me that once every 20 years, I must attend a football match. Who am I to argue? I am sure the game will be enjoyable, the company delightful, and best of all, as I have observed in the past, football gives one an opportunity to drink in the morning and not appear trashy.
Not much else to report. Rehearsals are about to commence for Dames At Sea (in which I am performing) and A Christmas Story (which I am directing.) In about a month, rehearsal will kick off for Santa In Space at BCT (in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony.) I am sure there will be many updates on all three as they wind their respective ways towards the stage.
In today's News From The Motherland...more new ideas from British Airways.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8274200.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Well, for all my readers who were disappointed that I did not make it to the UA game last weekend, take heart...tomorrow brings an exodus (well, if Lovey and I count as an exodus...perhaps an exodette?) to Auburn to watch them defeat...whoever it is they are playing...
Perhaps a bit of back-story is due here. One of my very best friends is a strong Auburn alum, and has kindly invited us down for the game and post-game festivities, which sound like great fun. Obviously, the universe is telling me that once every 20 years, I must attend a football match. Who am I to argue? I am sure the game will be enjoyable, the company delightful, and best of all, as I have observed in the past, football gives one an opportunity to drink in the morning and not appear trashy.
Not much else to report. Rehearsals are about to commence for Dames At Sea (in which I am performing) and A Christmas Story (which I am directing.) In about a month, rehearsal will kick off for Santa In Space at BCT (in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony.) I am sure there will be many updates on all three as they wind their respective ways towards the stage.
In today's News From The Motherland...more new ideas from British Airways.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8274200.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Rebellion Redux...?
Day 31: The Sun Has Got His Hat On! Hip, Hip, Hip Hooray!
- from the musical, Me And My Girl
I have been doing more subbing lately, which has put me into close contact with lots of teenagers. As all of us who have lived through those years are well aware, adolescence is a time for testing boundaries and finding one's own way. This instinct is alive and well in the younger generation. Over the past few days I have seen pink(ish) hair, newsprint-style shirts extoling the virtues of various musical groups, rubber bracelets galore, and an increasingly large number of young people who look like my friends and I did in 1986. It looks like a pop culture retrospective once in a while...I even saw a kid with a Rubik's Cube a few days ago.
In the '80s, we teenagers were rebelling against the staid conservatism of the Reagan era, yet a young, vital, charismatic president was on the horizon. We embraced the materialism offered by our cozy middle-class environment, yet we railed against the heartlessness of a greed-based culture. Female rock stars used sexuality when the talent failed, and the 40-ish crowd benignly chuckled and reflected upon their own similar rebellion in the 1960's.
What is the point of all this? Basically that everything, even styles of rebellion and individuality seem to follow a common (and repetitive) arc. Is that good or bad? Probably neither...just a fact.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Baroness has servant trouble...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8273241.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
- from the musical, Me And My Girl
I have been doing more subbing lately, which has put me into close contact with lots of teenagers. As all of us who have lived through those years are well aware, adolescence is a time for testing boundaries and finding one's own way. This instinct is alive and well in the younger generation. Over the past few days I have seen pink(ish) hair, newsprint-style shirts extoling the virtues of various musical groups, rubber bracelets galore, and an increasingly large number of young people who look like my friends and I did in 1986. It looks like a pop culture retrospective once in a while...I even saw a kid with a Rubik's Cube a few days ago.
In the '80s, we teenagers were rebelling against the staid conservatism of the Reagan era, yet a young, vital, charismatic president was on the horizon. We embraced the materialism offered by our cozy middle-class environment, yet we railed against the heartlessness of a greed-based culture. Female rock stars used sexuality when the talent failed, and the 40-ish crowd benignly chuckled and reflected upon their own similar rebellion in the 1960's.
What is the point of all this? Basically that everything, even styles of rebellion and individuality seem to follow a common (and repetitive) arc. Is that good or bad? Probably neither...just a fact.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Baroness has servant trouble...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8273241.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
For Your Approval...
Day 30: The ground goes "squish."
Today brings a fairly long post, but one that I hope will be entertaining. I am submitting some writing to a local comedy troupe for (hopeful) performance. Whether or not any of what I write will wind up on stage remains to be seen. At any rate, below is one of the skits I submitted to the group, which I hereby submit for my readers' approval. (If it gets performed and you see the show, please refrain from shouting out the dialogue a la "Rocky Horror." :-)
Any comments will be welcomed...and if you don't keep up with Birmingham politics, it might be a bit difficult to follow...
"CELL BLOCK JACKPOT"
Characters:
Richard Scrushy
Antwon Brown
Bettye Fine Collins
That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars
Showgirl
SCRUSHY: (Entering in prison jumpsuit) Hi, there, everyone! I'm prisoner # 74452, but my friends call me Richard M. Scrushy! You may have heard of me. I'm the guy who was smart enough to create a multi-billion dollar empire, yet I expect you to believe I was dumb enough to let the people working for me commit a multi-billion dollar fraud. Don't you hate it when that happens? I mean...WHO KNEW!!??
Well, I find myself with a little time on my hands these days...7 to 10 years to be precise...and I have decided to pass that time doing what I do best...making money! That's why I am inviting you to play my new game show... RICHARD SCRUSHY'S CELL BLOCK JACKPOT!!!
(Game Show Music, SHOWGIRL enters with Applause sign.)
That's right! It's time to play the game that all the better correctional facilities are buzzing about, where YOU TOO can make a fortune - and possibly lose it without warning - hosted by me, Richard Scrushy, convicted felon, criminal mastermind, amateur rock star and ordained minister! Praise Jesus! (SHOWGIRL holds up applause sign)
Now let's meet our contestants for today! First, hailing from CousinEffer Alabama, a three-time assistant part-time employee of the month at Ray-Ray's Kwiky Mart and former Birmingham City Council Candidate...a man who enjoys fiction writing and getting creative with the English language...Antwon Brown! (ANTWON enters)
ANTWON: It's very splendumerous to be here, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Next, the darling of the Jefferson County Commission, a lady whose mind is always in the sewer, the lovely and controversial...Bettye Fine Collins! (BETTYE enters)
BETTYE: Hmmmmmmm...Hello.
SCRUSHY: And finally...an individual who needs no introduction, which is good because nobody really knows his name...the celebrated man about town we all know and love...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
GUY: Aaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: Well said, as always, Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars. Now, who's ready to win some potentially worthless stock options and allegedly stolen cash?
(SHOWGIRL raises applause sign)
Now remember the rules! The first one to hit the buzzer can answer the question, but if that person misses the answer, the other two contestants can give it a try. Everyone understand? Great! Let's begin...Question Number One...What was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial cuts?
(ANTWON hits buzzer - sound effect)
ANTWON: Uuuuuuh...would that be literatics and arithmatation, Richard?
SCRUSHY: No, I'm afraid literatics and arithmatation would be incorrect, Antwon. Bettye...?
BETTYE: Well, Dick...
SCRUSHY: RIchard.
BETTYE: Whatever. I have studied this issue for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that without more funding and a subsidiary tax, I can not fully address or adequately contemplate this issue. Once the school board approves my newly proposed tax on pimple cream, rap albums and unused condoms that sit in some kid's wallet for six years, the high school students of Birmingham should be able to provide sufficient revenue to maintain viability.
SCRUSHY: Thank you, Bettye, but that did not address the question.
BETTYE: There was a question?
SCRUSHY: Never mind. Contestant number three, That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, what was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial crisis?
GUY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: That's right! ART! Our first round winner...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
(SHOWGIRL displays applause sign)
SCRUSHY: Question number two...for five thousand dollars worth of seized computers and a slightly used Flora-Bama t-shirt...and remember it's still anyone's game here...question number two...what is the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama?
GUY: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh!
SCRUSHY: No, I'm sorry! "Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrgh" is the name of Rep. John Rogers' boat, but it is NOT the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama.
GUY: Grrrrrrrrrmph!
SCRUSHY: Yes, indeed. Antwon?
ANTWON: I have used my mentalitics very ardutiously, Richard, and I am going to predillate a guesstation. Is it City Stages?
SCRUSHY: Oh, I'm afraid not...there haven't been enough people at City Stages over the past few years to fill a medium-sized Hefty bag with garbage.
ANTWON: Cursidos and rappletrap!
SCRUSHY: Yeah, what you said...Now Bettye, for the round, what is the fastest-growing waste disposal facility in Alabama?
BETTYE: John Katapodis?
SCRUSHY: That's right!!!! (SHOWGIRL displays applause sign.) Jabba The Katapodis, who enjoys threatening witnesses and trying out new recipies in the prison kitchen, is the correct answer!
BETTYE: Yeah. Good. Nice. Hmmmm-mmmmm.
(Sound effect-bell rings)
SCRUSHY: Oh ho! You all know what that bell means! It's time for our final round!!! With one win each for Bettye Fine Collins and That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, the outcome of this game is still very much up in the air!
SHOWGIRL: Free The Hops!
SCRUSHY: Sweetie, not only is that joke almost a year out of date, if anyone is going to get freed around here, it's me!
SHOWGIRL: Don't bet on it, Richard...
SCRUSHY: Cute. Now, for our final round, this is sort of a personal question, therefore I will judge which answer is best. The question is...what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent financial crisis? Bettye, we'll start with you...
BETTYE: I haven't been to the beauty parlor in months.
SCRUSHY: (Deadpan) No shit? (ALTERNATE LINE: "You don't say...)
BETTYE: Up yours, Richard. You've been in jail long enough to know what I mean.
SCRUSHY: Ouch! Sorry, Bitter Bettye! Better luck next time! Antwon?
ANTWON: I have feduciaciously leetailed my monetarialism in the expendations of financeosity, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Antwon, I have no idea what the hell you just said.
(SCRUSHY looks at SHOWGIRL. SHOWGIRL shrugs.)
(SCRUSHY looks at BETTYE and GUY who shrug.)
(ALL look at ANTWON, who shrugs.)
SCRUSHY: That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, for the game, what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent economic crisis?
GUY: (Suddenly eloquent) Well, Richard, I have found that by using the skills I developed in acting class...Yale School of Drama '98, by the way...I have secured quite gainful employment impersonating a local eccentric and simply holding out my hand, swathed in filth though it may be...Plus, I bought a boatload of HealthSouth when it was at 10 cents a share and sold when it hit twelve dollars.
SCRUSHY: (Slipping him some cash) I'm sorry, can you repeat that...?
GUY: Oh, sorry old boy...YAAAAAAARGGGH!
SCRUSHY: And that's the winning answer!!!!
BETTYE: What the hell?
ANTWON: I'm inpestulated!
SHOWGIRL: What a load of crap!
SCRUSHY: Unfortunately we're all out of time for today, so we'll see you next time! Meanwhile, don't forget the new album I just cut with featured soloist Bernie Madoff, titled "TWO OLD WHITE GUYS SINGIN' CHAIN GANG SONGS."
(SHOWGIRL displays record cover)
From "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to "Freedom Ride," you'll enjoy hearing the classic tunes of incarceration as only The Richard Scrushy Band can present them! Until next time, take care, and hold on tight to the soap! I'm Richard Scrushy saying bye for now!
(Music swells as lights fade.)
In today's News From The Motherland...British Airways goes green...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8268078.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Today brings a fairly long post, but one that I hope will be entertaining. I am submitting some writing to a local comedy troupe for (hopeful) performance. Whether or not any of what I write will wind up on stage remains to be seen. At any rate, below is one of the skits I submitted to the group, which I hereby submit for my readers' approval. (If it gets performed and you see the show, please refrain from shouting out the dialogue a la "Rocky Horror." :-)
Any comments will be welcomed...and if you don't keep up with Birmingham politics, it might be a bit difficult to follow...
"CELL BLOCK JACKPOT"
Characters:
Richard Scrushy
Antwon Brown
Bettye Fine Collins
That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars
Showgirl
SCRUSHY: (Entering in prison jumpsuit) Hi, there, everyone! I'm prisoner # 74452, but my friends call me Richard M. Scrushy! You may have heard of me. I'm the guy who was smart enough to create a multi-billion dollar empire, yet I expect you to believe I was dumb enough to let the people working for me commit a multi-billion dollar fraud. Don't you hate it when that happens? I mean...WHO KNEW!!??
Well, I find myself with a little time on my hands these days...7 to 10 years to be precise...and I have decided to pass that time doing what I do best...making money! That's why I am inviting you to play my new game show... RICHARD SCRUSHY'S CELL BLOCK JACKPOT!!!
(Game Show Music, SHOWGIRL enters with Applause sign.)
That's right! It's time to play the game that all the better correctional facilities are buzzing about, where YOU TOO can make a fortune - and possibly lose it without warning - hosted by me, Richard Scrushy, convicted felon, criminal mastermind, amateur rock star and ordained minister! Praise Jesus! (SHOWGIRL holds up applause sign)
Now let's meet our contestants for today! First, hailing from CousinEffer Alabama, a three-time assistant part-time employee of the month at Ray-Ray's Kwiky Mart and former Birmingham City Council Candidate...a man who enjoys fiction writing and getting creative with the English language...Antwon Brown! (ANTWON enters)
ANTWON: It's very splendumerous to be here, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Next, the darling of the Jefferson County Commission, a lady whose mind is always in the sewer, the lovely and controversial...Bettye Fine Collins! (BETTYE enters)
BETTYE: Hmmmmmmm...Hello.
SCRUSHY: And finally...an individual who needs no introduction, which is good because nobody really knows his name...the celebrated man about town we all know and love...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
GUY: Aaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: Well said, as always, Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars. Now, who's ready to win some potentially worthless stock options and allegedly stolen cash?
(SHOWGIRL raises applause sign)
Now remember the rules! The first one to hit the buzzer can answer the question, but if that person misses the answer, the other two contestants can give it a try. Everyone understand? Great! Let's begin...Question Number One...What was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial cuts?
(ANTWON hits buzzer - sound effect)
ANTWON: Uuuuuuh...would that be literatics and arithmatation, Richard?
SCRUSHY: No, I'm afraid literatics and arithmatation would be incorrect, Antwon. Bettye...?
BETTYE: Well, Dick...
SCRUSHY: RIchard.
BETTYE: Whatever. I have studied this issue for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that without more funding and a subsidiary tax, I can not fully address or adequately contemplate this issue. Once the school board approves my newly proposed tax on pimple cream, rap albums and unused condoms that sit in some kid's wallet for six years, the high school students of Birmingham should be able to provide sufficient revenue to maintain viability.
SCRUSHY: Thank you, Bettye, but that did not address the question.
BETTYE: There was a question?
SCRUSHY: Never mind. Contestant number three, That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, what was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial crisis?
GUY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: That's right! ART! Our first round winner...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
(SHOWGIRL displays applause sign)
SCRUSHY: Question number two...for five thousand dollars worth of seized computers and a slightly used Flora-Bama t-shirt...and remember it's still anyone's game here...question number two...what is the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama?
GUY: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh!
SCRUSHY: No, I'm sorry! "Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrgh" is the name of Rep. John Rogers' boat, but it is NOT the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama.
GUY: Grrrrrrrrrmph!
SCRUSHY: Yes, indeed. Antwon?
ANTWON: I have used my mentalitics very ardutiously, Richard, and I am going to predillate a guesstation. Is it City Stages?
SCRUSHY: Oh, I'm afraid not...there haven't been enough people at City Stages over the past few years to fill a medium-sized Hefty bag with garbage.
ANTWON: Cursidos and rappletrap!
SCRUSHY: Yeah, what you said...Now Bettye, for the round, what is the fastest-growing waste disposal facility in Alabama?
BETTYE: John Katapodis?
SCRUSHY: That's right!!!! (SHOWGIRL displays applause sign.) Jabba The Katapodis, who enjoys threatening witnesses and trying out new recipies in the prison kitchen, is the correct answer!
BETTYE: Yeah. Good. Nice. Hmmmm-mmmmm.
(Sound effect-bell rings)
SCRUSHY: Oh ho! You all know what that bell means! It's time for our final round!!! With one win each for Bettye Fine Collins and That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, the outcome of this game is still very much up in the air!
SHOWGIRL: Free The Hops!
SCRUSHY: Sweetie, not only is that joke almost a year out of date, if anyone is going to get freed around here, it's me!
SHOWGIRL: Don't bet on it, Richard...
SCRUSHY: Cute. Now, for our final round, this is sort of a personal question, therefore I will judge which answer is best. The question is...what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent financial crisis? Bettye, we'll start with you...
BETTYE: I haven't been to the beauty parlor in months.
SCRUSHY: (Deadpan) No shit? (ALTERNATE LINE: "You don't say...)
BETTYE: Up yours, Richard. You've been in jail long enough to know what I mean.
SCRUSHY: Ouch! Sorry, Bitter Bettye! Better luck next time! Antwon?
ANTWON: I have feduciaciously leetailed my monetarialism in the expendations of financeosity, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Antwon, I have no idea what the hell you just said.
(SCRUSHY looks at SHOWGIRL. SHOWGIRL shrugs.)
(SCRUSHY looks at BETTYE and GUY who shrug.)
(ALL look at ANTWON, who shrugs.)
SCRUSHY: That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, for the game, what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent economic crisis?
GUY: (Suddenly eloquent) Well, Richard, I have found that by using the skills I developed in acting class...Yale School of Drama '98, by the way...I have secured quite gainful employment impersonating a local eccentric and simply holding out my hand, swathed in filth though it may be...Plus, I bought a boatload of HealthSouth when it was at 10 cents a share and sold when it hit twelve dollars.
SCRUSHY: (Slipping him some cash) I'm sorry, can you repeat that...?
GUY: Oh, sorry old boy...YAAAAAAARGGGH!
SCRUSHY: And that's the winning answer!!!!
BETTYE: What the hell?
ANTWON: I'm inpestulated!
SHOWGIRL: What a load of crap!
SCRUSHY: Unfortunately we're all out of time for today, so we'll see you next time! Meanwhile, don't forget the new album I just cut with featured soloist Bernie Madoff, titled "TWO OLD WHITE GUYS SINGIN' CHAIN GANG SONGS."
(SHOWGIRL displays record cover)
From "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to "Freedom Ride," you'll enjoy hearing the classic tunes of incarceration as only The Richard Scrushy Band can present them! Until next time, take care, and hold on tight to the soap! I'm Richard Scrushy saying bye for now!
(Music swells as lights fade.)
In today's News From The Motherland...British Airways goes green...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8268078.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
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