Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand

"Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand"
(by FLT3 with apologies to Noel Coward)

When ringing the clothes
Or hankies for the nose
Of the lady with the charge plate in hand,
I often reinforce myself
More specifically, re-course myself
Towards the oldest respite in the land...

A slug of gin
Will quite do in
Any of the workaday blues.
And a beer surreptitious
Is always delicious
While dealing with the afternoon to-do's.

From dustman to surgeon
They all must submerge in
The claret from time to time,
And be not perjorative
Re the powers restorative
Of a lightly chilled vodka and lime...

Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand
Is what maintains civility
To the best of ability
Throughout this sceptered land.
'Tis no jest or joke,
That a bourbon and coke
Keeps a smile on the face and a pistol out of hand.

When an elderly matron is shouting with anger
And you wish she were bludgeoned or banned...
Don't bother to ask,
Take a nip from your flask,
Working Retail With Cocktail In Hand...