Day 36: To everything, turn,turn,turn...there is a season, turn,turn,turn...
I have been reflective today. Somewhat melancholy (which I will try and spare my readers) yet hopeful (which I will do my best to share.) I have been pondering the general arc of life, and the strange turns it can take...nothing that will change the nature of man...just personal musings...
Each day is a crapshoot. You never know when you wake up in the morning if today is the day you get hit by a bus or hit the lottery...sometimes the worst morning can bring joy with the setting of the sun, while at other times you can really feel like it's all smooth sailing through calm seas...until the raft sinks unexpectedly (yes, that was a Gilligan reference...bonus points for anyone who can name the episode... ;-)
I suppose that's what makes the world interesting. I remember reading one of those little books of questions that make plane travel and jury duty bearable...you know the kind I mean...and one of the questions was "Would you rather have a flat, predictable, but relatively dull life or one filled with great successes and amazing failures?" Well, anyone who has known me for more than six minutes would quickly realize that the former, while perfect for some, would not be my first choice. Granted, NEITHER is ideal...they are both on the fringes of extreme. They do, however, make for an interesting point to ponder.
There's a marvelous little song in Lerner & Loewe's Gigi called "It's A Bore." In the song, bon vivant Honore Lachailles is trying to cheer up his nephew, Gaston, who is much more staid of nature than his uncle. A quote:
HONORE: Look at Paris in the spring,
When each solitary thing
Is more beautiful than ever before...
You can hear every tree almost saying "look at me!"
GASTON: What color are the trees?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: What color were they last year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: And next year?
HONORE: Green!
GASTON: It's a bore...
(My apologies for the above quote which I thought would round out the discussion, but upon refelction it doesn't exactly apply. However, it's still a nice little tune. It will be in my head today :-)
Enough prattling on my part. I may have had a point, but it has gotten off-track.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Welsh politician calls it quits...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/wales_politics/8283538.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Film Comments...
Day 35: Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors,
Coming home across the briny sea!
When the anchor's weighed and the journey's made,
Then we'll start the party with a "Heave-Ho Me Hearty!"
Forty-Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us!
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors!
-British novelty song, circa 1910.
I have missed a couple of days. Apologies.
I usually begin my post closest to Sidewalk with a quote from Aaron White... "Oh, I had me a time at the Sidewalk..." This year was delightful, but I only actually attended one film, given Lovey's illness and the weather. It was, however, a good one...
We saw a documentary on the world of role-playing games. (The kind with people around a card table rolling dice to see what the knight or spaceman does next...not the sexy kind.) I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse at this little world that exists far beyond what I imagined to be a somewhat silly game played by chubby teenagers and nerdy college students. These people take their gaming very seriously.
I won't go into a lot of detail here, but the film was immensely entertaining and a bit tragic at times. All the cliches were there...the not-so-pretty girl who paints herself solid black to get into character as a dark elf, the overgrown geeky guy who slaves away over a most-likely-less-than-wonderful novel while schlepping through life, and the quirky nudist (yes, I said nudist) who takes an almost unhealthy delight in "killing" other characters. Odd to a (wo)man, but each with some sort of endearing quality...not quite pathos, but close...they were the sort of people you just wanted to hug and take in hand.
But would you really? Are these strange folks basically happy? Do we allow their daily travails (normal ones, mostly) to appear more tragic because of their gamer/nerd-dom? On the other hand, do we see their travails because they are so plentiful? Is a Dungeons And Dragons game the gateway to escape for these socially awkward people? (I'm not being mean, nor am I implying that everyone who plays these games is socially inept...but the three individuals in the film definitely were.)
Like everyone else, I assume they are a mixture of every point along the continuum of human emotion. Here endeth the observation.
In today's News From The Motherland...a giant fish emperiled...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8269000/8269414.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Coming home across the briny sea!
When the anchor's weighed and the journey's made,
Then we'll start the party with a "Heave-Ho Me Hearty!"
Forty-Seven Ginger Headed Sailors...
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us!
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors!
-British novelty song, circa 1910.
I have missed a couple of days. Apologies.
I usually begin my post closest to Sidewalk with a quote from Aaron White... "Oh, I had me a time at the Sidewalk..." This year was delightful, but I only actually attended one film, given Lovey's illness and the weather. It was, however, a good one...
We saw a documentary on the world of role-playing games. (The kind with people around a card table rolling dice to see what the knight or spaceman does next...not the sexy kind.) I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse at this little world that exists far beyond what I imagined to be a somewhat silly game played by chubby teenagers and nerdy college students. These people take their gaming very seriously.
I won't go into a lot of detail here, but the film was immensely entertaining and a bit tragic at times. All the cliches were there...the not-so-pretty girl who paints herself solid black to get into character as a dark elf, the overgrown geeky guy who slaves away over a most-likely-less-than-wonderful novel while schlepping through life, and the quirky nudist (yes, I said nudist) who takes an almost unhealthy delight in "killing" other characters. Odd to a (wo)man, but each with some sort of endearing quality...not quite pathos, but close...they were the sort of people you just wanted to hug and take in hand.
But would you really? Are these strange folks basically happy? Do we allow their daily travails (normal ones, mostly) to appear more tragic because of their gamer/nerd-dom? On the other hand, do we see their travails because they are so plentiful? Is a Dungeons And Dragons game the gateway to escape for these socially awkward people? (I'm not being mean, nor am I implying that everyone who plays these games is socially inept...but the three individuals in the film definitely were.)
Like everyone else, I assume they are a mixture of every point along the continuum of human emotion. Here endeth the observation.
In today's News From The Motherland...a giant fish emperiled...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8269000/8269414.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Telling The Truth
Day 34: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
- Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory
Today's topic is the truth. As in, I am not telling the truth when I date this post for Saturday. It is being written and back-dated on Sunday. Now that the pesky disclaimers are out of the way, I can talk about Saturday and use the word "yesterday" instead of "today," and Sunday will not have to be called "tomorrow." That's just too much trouble for a ruse that is neither amusing nor profitable...
Yesterday (Saturday) seemed to bear out the theory that I am simply not destined to grace the interior of a college football arena. As with last week's cancelled trip to the old alma mater, my weekend excursion to Auburn was scotched at the semi-last minute. Flu-like symptoms from Lovey prevented her going, I asked another friend but did not hear back, and then my prospective hosts sent me a text saying that while I was still certainly invited, the weather forecast was for a 100% chance of rain at kickoff.
God and The Universe do not have to beat me about the head.
After all was said and done, Lovey recovered somewhat and we enjoyed a small outing to the Sidewalk Film Festival and took in a movie (which I will discuss in greater detail in Sunday's post) and stopped by the Greek Food Festival for a bite to eat. A low-key, early evening seems to have put her back in the pink of health, and the only casualty was what would have been a delightful visit with good friends. I have great faith that many such visits lie ahead, however...
Our read-through for Dames At Sea went extremely well, and I am looking forward to playing the dual role of Hennesey/Captain. The cast is extremely talented, and we are in the hands of a first-rate production staff, so I forsee a total success.
In today's News From The Motherland...Madonna tops the charts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277463.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
- Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory
Today's topic is the truth. As in, I am not telling the truth when I date this post for Saturday. It is being written and back-dated on Sunday. Now that the pesky disclaimers are out of the way, I can talk about Saturday and use the word "yesterday" instead of "today," and Sunday will not have to be called "tomorrow." That's just too much trouble for a ruse that is neither amusing nor profitable...
Yesterday (Saturday) seemed to bear out the theory that I am simply not destined to grace the interior of a college football arena. As with last week's cancelled trip to the old alma mater, my weekend excursion to Auburn was scotched at the semi-last minute. Flu-like symptoms from Lovey prevented her going, I asked another friend but did not hear back, and then my prospective hosts sent me a text saying that while I was still certainly invited, the weather forecast was for a 100% chance of rain at kickoff.
God and The Universe do not have to beat me about the head.
After all was said and done, Lovey recovered somewhat and we enjoyed a small outing to the Sidewalk Film Festival and took in a movie (which I will discuss in greater detail in Sunday's post) and stopped by the Greek Food Festival for a bite to eat. A low-key, early evening seems to have put her back in the pink of health, and the only casualty was what would have been a delightful visit with good friends. I have great faith that many such visits lie ahead, however...
Our read-through for Dames At Sea went extremely well, and I am looking forward to playing the dual role of Hennesey/Captain. The cast is extremely talented, and we are in the hands of a first-rate production staff, so I forsee a total success.
In today's News From The Motherland...Madonna tops the charts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277463.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, September 25, 2009
Won't You Take Me To (Or Away From) Cougar Town?
Day 33: Everybody's working for the weekend...
I have been following a discussion on Facebook about the tv show "Cougar Town," starring Courtney Cox. (With a particular nod to Lovey for her very insightful thoughts.) After commenting on the subject on FB, it struck me that "Cougar Town" might be a good topic for today's post...
Without getting too repetitive for those who may have seen my earlier comment, I will admit to having found it amusing. Is it great literature? Will it be remembered for ages to come? Will Courtney even list it on her resume? A resounding and emphatic "hell, no" to all three. It's a fun little diversion best served with a couple of drinks and some popcorn.
Probing deeper, however, I do completely understand how it could be off-putting and even offensive to women, particularly those in the age group represented by the main character. From a male perspective, however, my main argument is with the completely erroneous image it projects about 40-something women. To portray them as desperate, grasping hags-on-the-rise who are so starved for affection they resort to chasing high school students is absurd. Unless I have been injected with some sort of sight-altering potion, there are about a bajillion extremely sexy, desirable, any-man-would-be-lucky-to-have-them 40-and-older women out there. Courtney Cox, for example, is (in my opinion) infinitely more attractive than she was in the "Friends" era.
Our national obsession with youth is creating a culture which blindly accepts 40 as "old." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I do not pretend to speak for my gender, but I would be very shocked if most men with the brains God gave a turnip would disagree. Yes, the 22-year-old cupcake in Maxim is pretty, but would you REALLY be attracted to her in person? Wouldn't a grown woman with life experience and an IQ be much sexier? I certainly think so.
Sexy, like so many other qualities is completely subjective. The writers of "Cougar Town" could accept this and open up the storyline to include a much broader base of experiences, while still staying true to the show's title. Sure, have the occasional fling with a boy toy, if it works for the character. Why not, however, add a plotline with a couple-of-a-certain-age working well and loving each other? I know that isn't as exciting to some, but it would add some much-needed texture to the show. Retread "Sex And The City" jokes are only going to carry them so far.
Yes, it's completely off-base and insular with respect (or lack thereof) to adult women who can actually buy alcohol and vote. That view will eventually wreck the show if a broader vision is not included soon. A one-trick pony show won't run after everyone in town has seen the trick, especially if the trick isn't remotely accurate. (OK, the metaphor broke down, but you get the point...)
I did find the libidinous teenager stealing the signs hysterical.
In today's News From The Motherland...an impromptu drive in window.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/8274635.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
I have been following a discussion on Facebook about the tv show "Cougar Town," starring Courtney Cox. (With a particular nod to Lovey for her very insightful thoughts.) After commenting on the subject on FB, it struck me that "Cougar Town" might be a good topic for today's post...
Without getting too repetitive for those who may have seen my earlier comment, I will admit to having found it amusing. Is it great literature? Will it be remembered for ages to come? Will Courtney even list it on her resume? A resounding and emphatic "hell, no" to all three. It's a fun little diversion best served with a couple of drinks and some popcorn.
Probing deeper, however, I do completely understand how it could be off-putting and even offensive to women, particularly those in the age group represented by the main character. From a male perspective, however, my main argument is with the completely erroneous image it projects about 40-something women. To portray them as desperate, grasping hags-on-the-rise who are so starved for affection they resort to chasing high school students is absurd. Unless I have been injected with some sort of sight-altering potion, there are about a bajillion extremely sexy, desirable, any-man-would-be-lucky-to-have-them 40-and-older women out there. Courtney Cox, for example, is (in my opinion) infinitely more attractive than she was in the "Friends" era.
Our national obsession with youth is creating a culture which blindly accepts 40 as "old." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I do not pretend to speak for my gender, but I would be very shocked if most men with the brains God gave a turnip would disagree. Yes, the 22-year-old cupcake in Maxim is pretty, but would you REALLY be attracted to her in person? Wouldn't a grown woman with life experience and an IQ be much sexier? I certainly think so.
Sexy, like so many other qualities is completely subjective. The writers of "Cougar Town" could accept this and open up the storyline to include a much broader base of experiences, while still staying true to the show's title. Sure, have the occasional fling with a boy toy, if it works for the character. Why not, however, add a plotline with a couple-of-a-certain-age working well and loving each other? I know that isn't as exciting to some, but it would add some much-needed texture to the show. Retread "Sex And The City" jokes are only going to carry them so far.
Yes, it's completely off-base and insular with respect (or lack thereof) to adult women who can actually buy alcohol and vote. That view will eventually wreck the show if a broader vision is not included soon. A one-trick pony show won't run after everyone in town has seen the trick, especially if the trick isn't remotely accurate. (OK, the metaphor broke down, but you get the point...)
I did find the libidinous teenager stealing the signs hysterical.
In today's News From The Motherland...an impromptu drive in window.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/8274635.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Second Attempt...
Day 32: C is for cookie...and I am trying to resist that temptation.
Well, for all my readers who were disappointed that I did not make it to the UA game last weekend, take heart...tomorrow brings an exodus (well, if Lovey and I count as an exodus...perhaps an exodette?) to Auburn to watch them defeat...whoever it is they are playing...
Perhaps a bit of back-story is due here. One of my very best friends is a strong Auburn alum, and has kindly invited us down for the game and post-game festivities, which sound like great fun. Obviously, the universe is telling me that once every 20 years, I must attend a football match. Who am I to argue? I am sure the game will be enjoyable, the company delightful, and best of all, as I have observed in the past, football gives one an opportunity to drink in the morning and not appear trashy.
Not much else to report. Rehearsals are about to commence for Dames At Sea (in which I am performing) and A Christmas Story (which I am directing.) In about a month, rehearsal will kick off for Santa In Space at BCT (in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony.) I am sure there will be many updates on all three as they wind their respective ways towards the stage.
In today's News From The Motherland...more new ideas from British Airways.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8274200.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Well, for all my readers who were disappointed that I did not make it to the UA game last weekend, take heart...tomorrow brings an exodus (well, if Lovey and I count as an exodus...perhaps an exodette?) to Auburn to watch them defeat...whoever it is they are playing...
Perhaps a bit of back-story is due here. One of my very best friends is a strong Auburn alum, and has kindly invited us down for the game and post-game festivities, which sound like great fun. Obviously, the universe is telling me that once every 20 years, I must attend a football match. Who am I to argue? I am sure the game will be enjoyable, the company delightful, and best of all, as I have observed in the past, football gives one an opportunity to drink in the morning and not appear trashy.
Not much else to report. Rehearsals are about to commence for Dames At Sea (in which I am performing) and A Christmas Story (which I am directing.) In about a month, rehearsal will kick off for Santa In Space at BCT (in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony.) I am sure there will be many updates on all three as they wind their respective ways towards the stage.
In today's News From The Motherland...more new ideas from British Airways.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8274200.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Rebellion Redux...?
Day 31: The Sun Has Got His Hat On! Hip, Hip, Hip Hooray!
- from the musical, Me And My Girl
I have been doing more subbing lately, which has put me into close contact with lots of teenagers. As all of us who have lived through those years are well aware, adolescence is a time for testing boundaries and finding one's own way. This instinct is alive and well in the younger generation. Over the past few days I have seen pink(ish) hair, newsprint-style shirts extoling the virtues of various musical groups, rubber bracelets galore, and an increasingly large number of young people who look like my friends and I did in 1986. It looks like a pop culture retrospective once in a while...I even saw a kid with a Rubik's Cube a few days ago.
In the '80s, we teenagers were rebelling against the staid conservatism of the Reagan era, yet a young, vital, charismatic president was on the horizon. We embraced the materialism offered by our cozy middle-class environment, yet we railed against the heartlessness of a greed-based culture. Female rock stars used sexuality when the talent failed, and the 40-ish crowd benignly chuckled and reflected upon their own similar rebellion in the 1960's.
What is the point of all this? Basically that everything, even styles of rebellion and individuality seem to follow a common (and repetitive) arc. Is that good or bad? Probably neither...just a fact.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Baroness has servant trouble...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8273241.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
- from the musical, Me And My Girl
I have been doing more subbing lately, which has put me into close contact with lots of teenagers. As all of us who have lived through those years are well aware, adolescence is a time for testing boundaries and finding one's own way. This instinct is alive and well in the younger generation. Over the past few days I have seen pink(ish) hair, newsprint-style shirts extoling the virtues of various musical groups, rubber bracelets galore, and an increasingly large number of young people who look like my friends and I did in 1986. It looks like a pop culture retrospective once in a while...I even saw a kid with a Rubik's Cube a few days ago.
In the '80s, we teenagers were rebelling against the staid conservatism of the Reagan era, yet a young, vital, charismatic president was on the horizon. We embraced the materialism offered by our cozy middle-class environment, yet we railed against the heartlessness of a greed-based culture. Female rock stars used sexuality when the talent failed, and the 40-ish crowd benignly chuckled and reflected upon their own similar rebellion in the 1960's.
What is the point of all this? Basically that everything, even styles of rebellion and individuality seem to follow a common (and repetitive) arc. Is that good or bad? Probably neither...just a fact.
In today's News From The Motherland...a Baroness has servant trouble...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8273241.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
For Your Approval...
Day 30: The ground goes "squish."
Today brings a fairly long post, but one that I hope will be entertaining. I am submitting some writing to a local comedy troupe for (hopeful) performance. Whether or not any of what I write will wind up on stage remains to be seen. At any rate, below is one of the skits I submitted to the group, which I hereby submit for my readers' approval. (If it gets performed and you see the show, please refrain from shouting out the dialogue a la "Rocky Horror." :-)
Any comments will be welcomed...and if you don't keep up with Birmingham politics, it might be a bit difficult to follow...
"CELL BLOCK JACKPOT"
Characters:
Richard Scrushy
Antwon Brown
Bettye Fine Collins
That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars
Showgirl
SCRUSHY: (Entering in prison jumpsuit) Hi, there, everyone! I'm prisoner # 74452, but my friends call me Richard M. Scrushy! You may have heard of me. I'm the guy who was smart enough to create a multi-billion dollar empire, yet I expect you to believe I was dumb enough to let the people working for me commit a multi-billion dollar fraud. Don't you hate it when that happens? I mean...WHO KNEW!!??
Well, I find myself with a little time on my hands these days...7 to 10 years to be precise...and I have decided to pass that time doing what I do best...making money! That's why I am inviting you to play my new game show... RICHARD SCRUSHY'S CELL BLOCK JACKPOT!!!
(Game Show Music, SHOWGIRL enters with Applause sign.)
That's right! It's time to play the game that all the better correctional facilities are buzzing about, where YOU TOO can make a fortune - and possibly lose it without warning - hosted by me, Richard Scrushy, convicted felon, criminal mastermind, amateur rock star and ordained minister! Praise Jesus! (SHOWGIRL holds up applause sign)
Now let's meet our contestants for today! First, hailing from CousinEffer Alabama, a three-time assistant part-time employee of the month at Ray-Ray's Kwiky Mart and former Birmingham City Council Candidate...a man who enjoys fiction writing and getting creative with the English language...Antwon Brown! (ANTWON enters)
ANTWON: It's very splendumerous to be here, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Next, the darling of the Jefferson County Commission, a lady whose mind is always in the sewer, the lovely and controversial...Bettye Fine Collins! (BETTYE enters)
BETTYE: Hmmmmmmm...Hello.
SCRUSHY: And finally...an individual who needs no introduction, which is good because nobody really knows his name...the celebrated man about town we all know and love...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
GUY: Aaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: Well said, as always, Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars. Now, who's ready to win some potentially worthless stock options and allegedly stolen cash?
(SHOWGIRL raises applause sign)
Now remember the rules! The first one to hit the buzzer can answer the question, but if that person misses the answer, the other two contestants can give it a try. Everyone understand? Great! Let's begin...Question Number One...What was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial cuts?
(ANTWON hits buzzer - sound effect)
ANTWON: Uuuuuuh...would that be literatics and arithmatation, Richard?
SCRUSHY: No, I'm afraid literatics and arithmatation would be incorrect, Antwon. Bettye...?
BETTYE: Well, Dick...
SCRUSHY: RIchard.
BETTYE: Whatever. I have studied this issue for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that without more funding and a subsidiary tax, I can not fully address or adequately contemplate this issue. Once the school board approves my newly proposed tax on pimple cream, rap albums and unused condoms that sit in some kid's wallet for six years, the high school students of Birmingham should be able to provide sufficient revenue to maintain viability.
SCRUSHY: Thank you, Bettye, but that did not address the question.
BETTYE: There was a question?
SCRUSHY: Never mind. Contestant number three, That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, what was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial crisis?
GUY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: That's right! ART! Our first round winner...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
(SHOWGIRL displays applause sign)
SCRUSHY: Question number two...for five thousand dollars worth of seized computers and a slightly used Flora-Bama t-shirt...and remember it's still anyone's game here...question number two...what is the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama?
GUY: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh!
SCRUSHY: No, I'm sorry! "Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrgh" is the name of Rep. John Rogers' boat, but it is NOT the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama.
GUY: Grrrrrrrrrmph!
SCRUSHY: Yes, indeed. Antwon?
ANTWON: I have used my mentalitics very ardutiously, Richard, and I am going to predillate a guesstation. Is it City Stages?
SCRUSHY: Oh, I'm afraid not...there haven't been enough people at City Stages over the past few years to fill a medium-sized Hefty bag with garbage.
ANTWON: Cursidos and rappletrap!
SCRUSHY: Yeah, what you said...Now Bettye, for the round, what is the fastest-growing waste disposal facility in Alabama?
BETTYE: John Katapodis?
SCRUSHY: That's right!!!! (SHOWGIRL displays applause sign.) Jabba The Katapodis, who enjoys threatening witnesses and trying out new recipies in the prison kitchen, is the correct answer!
BETTYE: Yeah. Good. Nice. Hmmmm-mmmmm.
(Sound effect-bell rings)
SCRUSHY: Oh ho! You all know what that bell means! It's time for our final round!!! With one win each for Bettye Fine Collins and That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, the outcome of this game is still very much up in the air!
SHOWGIRL: Free The Hops!
SCRUSHY: Sweetie, not only is that joke almost a year out of date, if anyone is going to get freed around here, it's me!
SHOWGIRL: Don't bet on it, Richard...
SCRUSHY: Cute. Now, for our final round, this is sort of a personal question, therefore I will judge which answer is best. The question is...what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent financial crisis? Bettye, we'll start with you...
BETTYE: I haven't been to the beauty parlor in months.
SCRUSHY: (Deadpan) No shit? (ALTERNATE LINE: "You don't say...)
BETTYE: Up yours, Richard. You've been in jail long enough to know what I mean.
SCRUSHY: Ouch! Sorry, Bitter Bettye! Better luck next time! Antwon?
ANTWON: I have feduciaciously leetailed my monetarialism in the expendations of financeosity, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Antwon, I have no idea what the hell you just said.
(SCRUSHY looks at SHOWGIRL. SHOWGIRL shrugs.)
(SCRUSHY looks at BETTYE and GUY who shrug.)
(ALL look at ANTWON, who shrugs.)
SCRUSHY: That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, for the game, what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent economic crisis?
GUY: (Suddenly eloquent) Well, Richard, I have found that by using the skills I developed in acting class...Yale School of Drama '98, by the way...I have secured quite gainful employment impersonating a local eccentric and simply holding out my hand, swathed in filth though it may be...Plus, I bought a boatload of HealthSouth when it was at 10 cents a share and sold when it hit twelve dollars.
SCRUSHY: (Slipping him some cash) I'm sorry, can you repeat that...?
GUY: Oh, sorry old boy...YAAAAAAARGGGH!
SCRUSHY: And that's the winning answer!!!!
BETTYE: What the hell?
ANTWON: I'm inpestulated!
SHOWGIRL: What a load of crap!
SCRUSHY: Unfortunately we're all out of time for today, so we'll see you next time! Meanwhile, don't forget the new album I just cut with featured soloist Bernie Madoff, titled "TWO OLD WHITE GUYS SINGIN' CHAIN GANG SONGS."
(SHOWGIRL displays record cover)
From "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to "Freedom Ride," you'll enjoy hearing the classic tunes of incarceration as only The Richard Scrushy Band can present them! Until next time, take care, and hold on tight to the soap! I'm Richard Scrushy saying bye for now!
(Music swells as lights fade.)
In today's News From The Motherland...British Airways goes green...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8268078.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Today brings a fairly long post, but one that I hope will be entertaining. I am submitting some writing to a local comedy troupe for (hopeful) performance. Whether or not any of what I write will wind up on stage remains to be seen. At any rate, below is one of the skits I submitted to the group, which I hereby submit for my readers' approval. (If it gets performed and you see the show, please refrain from shouting out the dialogue a la "Rocky Horror." :-)
Any comments will be welcomed...and if you don't keep up with Birmingham politics, it might be a bit difficult to follow...
"CELL BLOCK JACKPOT"
Characters:
Richard Scrushy
Antwon Brown
Bettye Fine Collins
That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars
Showgirl
SCRUSHY: (Entering in prison jumpsuit) Hi, there, everyone! I'm prisoner # 74452, but my friends call me Richard M. Scrushy! You may have heard of me. I'm the guy who was smart enough to create a multi-billion dollar empire, yet I expect you to believe I was dumb enough to let the people working for me commit a multi-billion dollar fraud. Don't you hate it when that happens? I mean...WHO KNEW!!??
Well, I find myself with a little time on my hands these days...7 to 10 years to be precise...and I have decided to pass that time doing what I do best...making money! That's why I am inviting you to play my new game show... RICHARD SCRUSHY'S CELL BLOCK JACKPOT!!!
(Game Show Music, SHOWGIRL enters with Applause sign.)
That's right! It's time to play the game that all the better correctional facilities are buzzing about, where YOU TOO can make a fortune - and possibly lose it without warning - hosted by me, Richard Scrushy, convicted felon, criminal mastermind, amateur rock star and ordained minister! Praise Jesus! (SHOWGIRL holds up applause sign)
Now let's meet our contestants for today! First, hailing from CousinEffer Alabama, a three-time assistant part-time employee of the month at Ray-Ray's Kwiky Mart and former Birmingham City Council Candidate...a man who enjoys fiction writing and getting creative with the English language...Antwon Brown! (ANTWON enters)
ANTWON: It's very splendumerous to be here, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Next, the darling of the Jefferson County Commission, a lady whose mind is always in the sewer, the lovely and controversial...Bettye Fine Collins! (BETTYE enters)
BETTYE: Hmmmmmmm...Hello.
SCRUSHY: And finally...an individual who needs no introduction, which is good because nobody really knows his name...the celebrated man about town we all know and love...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
GUY: Aaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: Well said, as always, Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars. Now, who's ready to win some potentially worthless stock options and allegedly stolen cash?
(SHOWGIRL raises applause sign)
Now remember the rules! The first one to hit the buzzer can answer the question, but if that person misses the answer, the other two contestants can give it a try. Everyone understand? Great! Let's begin...Question Number One...What was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial cuts?
(ANTWON hits buzzer - sound effect)
ANTWON: Uuuuuuh...would that be literatics and arithmatation, Richard?
SCRUSHY: No, I'm afraid literatics and arithmatation would be incorrect, Antwon. Bettye...?
BETTYE: Well, Dick...
SCRUSHY: RIchard.
BETTYE: Whatever. I have studied this issue for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that without more funding and a subsidiary tax, I can not fully address or adequately contemplate this issue. Once the school board approves my newly proposed tax on pimple cream, rap albums and unused condoms that sit in some kid's wallet for six years, the high school students of Birmingham should be able to provide sufficient revenue to maintain viability.
SCRUSHY: Thank you, Bettye, but that did not address the question.
BETTYE: There was a question?
SCRUSHY: Never mind. Contestant number three, That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, what was the first course of study eliminated from the public school system in the recent financial crisis?
GUY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
SCRUSHY: That's right! ART! Our first round winner...That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars!
(SHOWGIRL displays applause sign)
SCRUSHY: Question number two...for five thousand dollars worth of seized computers and a slightly used Flora-Bama t-shirt...and remember it's still anyone's game here...question number two...what is the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama?
GUY: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaauuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh!
SCRUSHY: No, I'm sorry! "Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrgh" is the name of Rep. John Rogers' boat, but it is NOT the fastest-growing waste disposal dump in Alabama.
GUY: Grrrrrrrrrmph!
SCRUSHY: Yes, indeed. Antwon?
ANTWON: I have used my mentalitics very ardutiously, Richard, and I am going to predillate a guesstation. Is it City Stages?
SCRUSHY: Oh, I'm afraid not...there haven't been enough people at City Stages over the past few years to fill a medium-sized Hefty bag with garbage.
ANTWON: Cursidos and rappletrap!
SCRUSHY: Yeah, what you said...Now Bettye, for the round, what is the fastest-growing waste disposal facility in Alabama?
BETTYE: John Katapodis?
SCRUSHY: That's right!!!! (SHOWGIRL displays applause sign.) Jabba The Katapodis, who enjoys threatening witnesses and trying out new recipies in the prison kitchen, is the correct answer!
BETTYE: Yeah. Good. Nice. Hmmmm-mmmmm.
(Sound effect-bell rings)
SCRUSHY: Oh ho! You all know what that bell means! It's time for our final round!!! With one win each for Bettye Fine Collins and That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, the outcome of this game is still very much up in the air!
SHOWGIRL: Free The Hops!
SCRUSHY: Sweetie, not only is that joke almost a year out of date, if anyone is going to get freed around here, it's me!
SHOWGIRL: Don't bet on it, Richard...
SCRUSHY: Cute. Now, for our final round, this is sort of a personal question, therefore I will judge which answer is best. The question is...what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent financial crisis? Bettye, we'll start with you...
BETTYE: I haven't been to the beauty parlor in months.
SCRUSHY: (Deadpan) No shit? (ALTERNATE LINE: "You don't say...)
BETTYE: Up yours, Richard. You've been in jail long enough to know what I mean.
SCRUSHY: Ouch! Sorry, Bitter Bettye! Better luck next time! Antwon?
ANTWON: I have feduciaciously leetailed my monetarialism in the expendations of financeosity, Richard.
SCRUSHY: Antwon, I have no idea what the hell you just said.
(SCRUSHY looks at SHOWGIRL. SHOWGIRL shrugs.)
(SCRUSHY looks at BETTYE and GUY who shrug.)
(ALL look at ANTWON, who shrugs.)
SCRUSHY: That Guy On Southside Who Yells At Cars, for the game, what steps have you personally taken to save money during the recent economic crisis?
GUY: (Suddenly eloquent) Well, Richard, I have found that by using the skills I developed in acting class...Yale School of Drama '98, by the way...I have secured quite gainful employment impersonating a local eccentric and simply holding out my hand, swathed in filth though it may be...Plus, I bought a boatload of HealthSouth when it was at 10 cents a share and sold when it hit twelve dollars.
SCRUSHY: (Slipping him some cash) I'm sorry, can you repeat that...?
GUY: Oh, sorry old boy...YAAAAAAARGGGH!
SCRUSHY: And that's the winning answer!!!!
BETTYE: What the hell?
ANTWON: I'm inpestulated!
SHOWGIRL: What a load of crap!
SCRUSHY: Unfortunately we're all out of time for today, so we'll see you next time! Meanwhile, don't forget the new album I just cut with featured soloist Bernie Madoff, titled "TWO OLD WHITE GUYS SINGIN' CHAIN GANG SONGS."
(SHOWGIRL displays record cover)
From "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to "Freedom Ride," you'll enjoy hearing the classic tunes of incarceration as only The Richard Scrushy Band can present them! Until next time, take care, and hold on tight to the soap! I'm Richard Scrushy saying bye for now!
(Music swells as lights fade.)
In today's News From The Motherland...British Airways goes green...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8268078.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Monday, September 21, 2009
Still Seeking The Loop
Day 29: Woman, I'm troubled. I be all worried of mind.
-Muddy Waters
The loop referenced in today's heading is the one out of which I have fallen lately. I thought about posting two little posts and back-dating them for Saturday and Sunday, but that would be pushing the You-know-I-do-it-and-I-know-you-know-but-we-sort-of-ignore-it factor a bit far, even for me...as usual, I will vow to be back on task from this day forward. Believe that as you will...
The positive side of my having been a slacker for a couple of days is that I actually have a few experiences about which to write. Saturday was supposed to bring my presence at what would have been the first UA football game I had attended since my old fraternity days over 20 years ago. However, the day dawned rainy and grey, and my good friend Goldstein (who was providing the tickets) suggested that we stay in Birmingham and simply watch the game in the comfort of a cozy sports bar. I heartily agreed with this idea.
We went to The Tilted Kilt, a cheeky sports pub which blends English, Scottish, and Irish culture with moderate success. The waitresses are clad in very skimpy tartan wear, which gives one a fair idea of what a strip club in Brigadoon may have resembled. It's all in good fun, and the waitresses seem to be pretty good sports about the whole thing. I can also report that while the fish & chips don't rival those of The Motherland, they are quite tasty.
This week also brings pre-production work on A Christmas Story, which will be CenterStage's big "yes, we're back" production in December. While we have very little money, I have some ideas that will be inexpensive but effective...thank God that most theatre companies are usually on the ragged edge of financial disaster...we've all learned how to do a lot with little money. Also, the script is a cozy, intimate one, which relies on the acting and the story more than great spectacle, which is good...'cause we can only afford a very small spectacle. More like a monocle, truth be told...
Today I subbed at VHHS for a Science class, which was actually lots of fun. The kids were to watch a movie on Earth Science, and by the fourth viewing, I was really starting to enjoy it. Another day, another dollar...
I am still hoping to hear more form the readers who supposedly lurk in the shadows. Feel free to say hello! :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a rooftop dispute.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/8267763.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
-Muddy Waters
The loop referenced in today's heading is the one out of which I have fallen lately. I thought about posting two little posts and back-dating them for Saturday and Sunday, but that would be pushing the You-know-I-do-it-and-I-know-you-know-but-we-sort-of-ignore-it factor a bit far, even for me...as usual, I will vow to be back on task from this day forward. Believe that as you will...
The positive side of my having been a slacker for a couple of days is that I actually have a few experiences about which to write. Saturday was supposed to bring my presence at what would have been the first UA football game I had attended since my old fraternity days over 20 years ago. However, the day dawned rainy and grey, and my good friend Goldstein (who was providing the tickets) suggested that we stay in Birmingham and simply watch the game in the comfort of a cozy sports bar. I heartily agreed with this idea.
We went to The Tilted Kilt, a cheeky sports pub which blends English, Scottish, and Irish culture with moderate success. The waitresses are clad in very skimpy tartan wear, which gives one a fair idea of what a strip club in Brigadoon may have resembled. It's all in good fun, and the waitresses seem to be pretty good sports about the whole thing. I can also report that while the fish & chips don't rival those of The Motherland, they are quite tasty.
This week also brings pre-production work on A Christmas Story, which will be CenterStage's big "yes, we're back" production in December. While we have very little money, I have some ideas that will be inexpensive but effective...thank God that most theatre companies are usually on the ragged edge of financial disaster...we've all learned how to do a lot with little money. Also, the script is a cozy, intimate one, which relies on the acting and the story more than great spectacle, which is good...'cause we can only afford a very small spectacle. More like a monocle, truth be told...
Today I subbed at VHHS for a Science class, which was actually lots of fun. The kids were to watch a movie on Earth Science, and by the fourth viewing, I was really starting to enjoy it. Another day, another dollar...
I am still hoping to hear more form the readers who supposedly lurk in the shadows. Feel free to say hello! :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a rooftop dispute.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/derbyshire/8267763.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, September 18, 2009
Noblesse Oblige and Corn Dogs
Day 28: Frank Thompson is very off-put by the Alabama State Fair's advertisement for "Monkeys Riding Dogs." The monkeys deserve more dignity, and the dogs less physical exertion. Why not offer "Toothless Rednecks Riding Obese Women In Polyester?" There is sure to be a surfeit of both on the premises...
(Today's facebook status.)
I remember going to the fair a few times as a child. (This was, for the record, in the mid-to-late 1970's.) It was always fun, but vaguely unsettling. Even at the age of eight, I realized that the chap covered with grammatically inaccurate tattoos and axle grease was most likely not the sort of fellow one meets at Easter brunch. (This was also one of the first times I realized the inaccuracy of some of the old homilies with which we all grew up...perhaps one can't judge every book by it's cover, but a good look at the cover can usually provide a fairly good idea as to the contents.)
My parents were never huge fair fans, but they indulged me for a while. I finally had to pitch a minor hissy one year, followed by several years of being purchased the new toy of my choice as a payoff for NOT being taken to the fair. I quickly figured out that the new Star Wars spaceship (or whatever was hot at the time) was a better jackpot than a series of rides on the Tilt-A-Whirl (nausea-inducing) and a syrupy grape sno-cone and a mystery meat hot dog (ditto.) Come to think of it, perhaps the binge-drinking of the college years is just an attempt to recapture the youthful folly of fair-going...swirling around...getting sick...eating bad, greasy, food...could be Alabama State Fair circa '78 or University of Alabama circa '91...hmmm...
As for the noblesse oblige...well, we never tossed hot soapy water on the fair workers, nor did we mention the miracle of electrolysis to the woman (I think) selling foam-rubber teddy bears and "Man Of The Year" frosted bathroom mirrors. We were a kind lot, my family and I...
Joking apart, I am very unhappy (see above) with the "Monkeys Riding Dogs" advert. I would like to think that the animals are well-treated and adequately looked after. Yes, I would really REALLY like to think that...but I have my doubts. I console myself with the knowledge that monkeys and dogs are among the best biters in the animal kingdom, and can most likely chomp a chunk out of any human who starts trouble. I would imagine the bouquet de carny is a bit sub-standard...most likely a Schlitz/Spam combo...
Oh hell, I will say it. Don't go to the fair. The monkeys can't be proud of their work, and why add to their embarassment? Why also add to the coffers of a company that would exploit innocent animals in such a degrading way? Perhaps if the public does NOT flood the gates, the mystic "they" will realize just how distateful this type of "entertainment" is to the thinking populace.
I'll even buy you a new toy if you don't go. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...lap-dancing tax break endangered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8263284.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
(Today's facebook status.)
I remember going to the fair a few times as a child. (This was, for the record, in the mid-to-late 1970's.) It was always fun, but vaguely unsettling. Even at the age of eight, I realized that the chap covered with grammatically inaccurate tattoos and axle grease was most likely not the sort of fellow one meets at Easter brunch. (This was also one of the first times I realized the inaccuracy of some of the old homilies with which we all grew up...perhaps one can't judge every book by it's cover, but a good look at the cover can usually provide a fairly good idea as to the contents.)
My parents were never huge fair fans, but they indulged me for a while. I finally had to pitch a minor hissy one year, followed by several years of being purchased the new toy of my choice as a payoff for NOT being taken to the fair. I quickly figured out that the new Star Wars spaceship (or whatever was hot at the time) was a better jackpot than a series of rides on the Tilt-A-Whirl (nausea-inducing) and a syrupy grape sno-cone and a mystery meat hot dog (ditto.) Come to think of it, perhaps the binge-drinking of the college years is just an attempt to recapture the youthful folly of fair-going...swirling around...getting sick...eating bad, greasy, food...could be Alabama State Fair circa '78 or University of Alabama circa '91...hmmm...
As for the noblesse oblige...well, we never tossed hot soapy water on the fair workers, nor did we mention the miracle of electrolysis to the woman (I think) selling foam-rubber teddy bears and "Man Of The Year" frosted bathroom mirrors. We were a kind lot, my family and I...
Joking apart, I am very unhappy (see above) with the "Monkeys Riding Dogs" advert. I would like to think that the animals are well-treated and adequately looked after. Yes, I would really REALLY like to think that...but I have my doubts. I console myself with the knowledge that monkeys and dogs are among the best biters in the animal kingdom, and can most likely chomp a chunk out of any human who starts trouble. I would imagine the bouquet de carny is a bit sub-standard...most likely a Schlitz/Spam combo...
Oh hell, I will say it. Don't go to the fair. The monkeys can't be proud of their work, and why add to their embarassment? Why also add to the coffers of a company that would exploit innocent animals in such a degrading way? Perhaps if the public does NOT flood the gates, the mystic "they" will realize just how distateful this type of "entertainment" is to the thinking populace.
I'll even buy you a new toy if you don't go. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...lap-dancing tax break endangered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8263284.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Reader Responses...And More!
Day 27: FELIX: (After seeing his leading lady heavily drugged) Doc! Will she be able to work?
IRVING: Is Batman a transvestite? Who knows? I was specifically requested to
alleviate her anxiety. Work was never mentioned...
(Another classic from S.O.B., Blake Edwards' brilliant hollywood satire.)
Today brings a big shout-out to two of my good friends and readers...Darrell, who added his memories of The Andy Griffith Show and Thelma Lou's smooching-in-church adventures (shameless floozy!) And Kristi, who posted a reply that somehow got lost in the great swirl of cyberspace...hopefully it will surface soon. At any rate, big thanks to both of you for responding...it's nice to know you're out there reading... :-)
Today brought a return to subbing at VHHS, and I am happy to say that I had an absolute blast! I was in for yet another good friend, Alan, who was kind enough to leave me in charge of his theatre classes for the day. As the kids are just getting started on improv, we played a series of "Whose Line Is It Anyway" type games, which all seemed to enjoy. I got my greatest pleasure of the day out of watching the handful of kids who were most reluctant to get onstage...and then realized how much fun improv can be...as is always the case, the current events of the day influenced the scenes, and Taylor Swift/Kanye were frequently invoked. All in all, a great day with a really wonderful group of kids.
In today's News From The Motherland...spending cuts announced...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8262168.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
IRVING: Is Batman a transvestite? Who knows? I was specifically requested to
alleviate her anxiety. Work was never mentioned...
(Another classic from S.O.B., Blake Edwards' brilliant hollywood satire.)
Today brings a big shout-out to two of my good friends and readers...Darrell, who added his memories of The Andy Griffith Show and Thelma Lou's smooching-in-church adventures (shameless floozy!) And Kristi, who posted a reply that somehow got lost in the great swirl of cyberspace...hopefully it will surface soon. At any rate, big thanks to both of you for responding...it's nice to know you're out there reading... :-)
Today brought a return to subbing at VHHS, and I am happy to say that I had an absolute blast! I was in for yet another good friend, Alan, who was kind enough to leave me in charge of his theatre classes for the day. As the kids are just getting started on improv, we played a series of "Whose Line Is It Anyway" type games, which all seemed to enjoy. I got my greatest pleasure of the day out of watching the handful of kids who were most reluctant to get onstage...and then realized how much fun improv can be...as is always the case, the current events of the day influenced the scenes, and Taylor Swift/Kanye were frequently invoked. All in all, a great day with a really wonderful group of kids.
In today's News From The Motherland...spending cuts announced...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8262168.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
With The Mail...A Treasure!
Day 26: Now listen to this story that we will tell to you...
The story of The Minnow, five passengers, and crew...
If those lyrics seem familiar but not...there's a reason. They are the intro lines for the theme song to The New Adventures Of Gilligan, a cartoon series based on everyone's (well, at least my) favorite fictitious castaways. This series aired in the early 1970's, and is extremely difficult to find...but today, I struck gold. In the mail, I received a 4-DVD set of the entire animated series, purchased online from a collectables shop somewhere in Illinois. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. This is damn nigh the Holy Grail of Gilligania...
After viewing one episode, it is, as I recalled from childhood, basically an extended collection of episodes featuring Gilligan, The Skipper too, The Millionaire...and you know the rest... (pun intended. ;-) Five of the original cast provided the voices for their cartoon counterparts, with Jane Edwards voicing Ginger and Jane Webb giving speech to Mary Ann. Tina Louise wanted to distance herself from the series, and Dawn Wells had prior touring commitments in a stage play, so they were unwilling and unable to participate, respectively.
The other addition to the group is Snubby, Gilligan's monkey friend. Obviously, training a real chimp would have been difficult, but hey...animation allows for anything! :-) It has been pointed out to me that the original series was pretty much a cartoon with live actors, and I agree. That's what made it so delightful!
I suppose today's post won't mean much to anyone except me and a few other die-hard Gilligan nuts, but to us, this is like striking oil...which happens in one of the cartoons, according to the episode guide...I have great faith that the cartoon Thurston Howell III will find some way to gain control of the oil well, only to get his come-uppance in the last five minutes...or else he will soften towards the end and share with the others. Even as much as I love the show and the characters, I can't pretend that they aren't predictable.
So...I pose a question to my readers (audience participation time! :-) What was YOUR favorite TV show/toy/book/etc. from childhood which you still enjoy? Come on...admit it...you still have that Brady Bunch lunchbox in the attic, don't you? How about the Strawberry Shortcake dolls, the Red Ryder BB gun, the Rock-Em Sock-Em robots, the Lassie coloring book, the Star Trek videos, or any other of the bajillion entertainment-based items aimed at the under-18 market? We were raised as pop culture consumers, you know...
Looking forward to some good answers...
In today's News From The Motherland...a possible postal strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8259867.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
The story of The Minnow, five passengers, and crew...
If those lyrics seem familiar but not...there's a reason. They are the intro lines for the theme song to The New Adventures Of Gilligan, a cartoon series based on everyone's (well, at least my) favorite fictitious castaways. This series aired in the early 1970's, and is extremely difficult to find...but today, I struck gold. In the mail, I received a 4-DVD set of the entire animated series, purchased online from a collectables shop somewhere in Illinois. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. This is damn nigh the Holy Grail of Gilligania...
After viewing one episode, it is, as I recalled from childhood, basically an extended collection of episodes featuring Gilligan, The Skipper too, The Millionaire...and you know the rest... (pun intended. ;-) Five of the original cast provided the voices for their cartoon counterparts, with Jane Edwards voicing Ginger and Jane Webb giving speech to Mary Ann. Tina Louise wanted to distance herself from the series, and Dawn Wells had prior touring commitments in a stage play, so they were unwilling and unable to participate, respectively.
The other addition to the group is Snubby, Gilligan's monkey friend. Obviously, training a real chimp would have been difficult, but hey...animation allows for anything! :-) It has been pointed out to me that the original series was pretty much a cartoon with live actors, and I agree. That's what made it so delightful!
I suppose today's post won't mean much to anyone except me and a few other die-hard Gilligan nuts, but to us, this is like striking oil...which happens in one of the cartoons, according to the episode guide...I have great faith that the cartoon Thurston Howell III will find some way to gain control of the oil well, only to get his come-uppance in the last five minutes...or else he will soften towards the end and share with the others. Even as much as I love the show and the characters, I can't pretend that they aren't predictable.
So...I pose a question to my readers (audience participation time! :-) What was YOUR favorite TV show/toy/book/etc. from childhood which you still enjoy? Come on...admit it...you still have that Brady Bunch lunchbox in the attic, don't you? How about the Strawberry Shortcake dolls, the Red Ryder BB gun, the Rock-Em Sock-Em robots, the Lassie coloring book, the Star Trek videos, or any other of the bajillion entertainment-based items aimed at the under-18 market? We were raised as pop culture consumers, you know...
Looking forward to some good answers...
In today's News From The Motherland...a possible postal strike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8259867.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Pimp Of The Year?
Day 25: Brands belong on cattle, and that ain't what we're sellin' at Miss Mona's.
- from the Broadway musical "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"
I have been following with some interest the recent foofaraw and kerfuffle (sp? who knows?) over the undercover "pimp and whore" who applied for ACORN assistance and were somewhat cryptically instructed on how to receive a subsidy. While I firmly belive that such commerce between two consenting adults is completely their business, even I have to suggest that perhaps this is not exactly the sort of free enterprise that warrants governmental support. Lest my readers think I have fallen victim to some trumped-up bluenose morality, fear not...it just seems a senseless waste of money. I mean, beyond the hotel expense (which one can reasonably assume will be included in the fee quoted by Jasmine/Dakota/Stormee-With-Two-Ees,) the weekly case of condoms, and the occasional bottle of drugstore perfume, how many business expenses can legitimately be associated with this endeavor? When one stops to consider...it truly is one of the most low-overhead enterprises around. (And yes, I know the use of "overhead" in this context can easily inspire Beavis And Butthead levels of giggling. Feel free to indulge. I certainly did.)
One also has to wonder how the application was approached. Did the applicant list himself and his partner as "Mr Cleavon Velveteen Jones and Cherry Poptart, The Celebrated Courtesan To The Masses?" or did he express himself with the more earthy, understated sort of "JoJo Washington and Ho" patois so favored by inner-city hooligans and Kanye West? One does indeed wonder...
Are purple zebra-print miniskirts considered deductable business expenses? How about herpes medication? Heroin spoons? Lime-green Cadillacs? These are questions which must be answered if we are to legitimize this oldest of professions. What of unionization? Perhaps a political action group...I propose CROTCH (Credentialed Registered Order of Theraputic Caressing and Handling) as a catchy acronym. I think it could catch on.
This could quickly hit the gutter (too late, you say?) so I suppose I will quit while I'm ahead. (Yes, feel free to have another Beavis And Butthead moment now.)
In today's News From The Motherland...a singing star helps out...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8259388.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
- from the Broadway musical "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"
I have been following with some interest the recent foofaraw and kerfuffle (sp? who knows?) over the undercover "pimp and whore" who applied for ACORN assistance and were somewhat cryptically instructed on how to receive a subsidy. While I firmly belive that such commerce between two consenting adults is completely their business, even I have to suggest that perhaps this is not exactly the sort of free enterprise that warrants governmental support. Lest my readers think I have fallen victim to some trumped-up bluenose morality, fear not...it just seems a senseless waste of money. I mean, beyond the hotel expense (which one can reasonably assume will be included in the fee quoted by Jasmine/Dakota/Stormee-With-Two-Ees,) the weekly case of condoms, and the occasional bottle of drugstore perfume, how many business expenses can legitimately be associated with this endeavor? When one stops to consider...it truly is one of the most low-overhead enterprises around. (And yes, I know the use of "overhead" in this context can easily inspire Beavis And Butthead levels of giggling. Feel free to indulge. I certainly did.)
One also has to wonder how the application was approached. Did the applicant list himself and his partner as "Mr Cleavon Velveteen Jones and Cherry Poptart, The Celebrated Courtesan To The Masses?" or did he express himself with the more earthy, understated sort of "JoJo Washington and Ho" patois so favored by inner-city hooligans and Kanye West? One does indeed wonder...
Are purple zebra-print miniskirts considered deductable business expenses? How about herpes medication? Heroin spoons? Lime-green Cadillacs? These are questions which must be answered if we are to legitimize this oldest of professions. What of unionization? Perhaps a political action group...I propose CROTCH (Credentialed Registered Order of Theraputic Caressing and Handling) as a catchy acronym. I think it could catch on.
This could quickly hit the gutter (too late, you say?) so I suppose I will quit while I'm ahead. (Yes, feel free to have another Beavis And Butthead moment now.)
In today's News From The Motherland...a singing star helps out...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8259388.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Monday, September 14, 2009
Back To The Grind...
Day 24: Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?
This week represents a much-needed return to what passes for normalcy in my life. Tomorrow I have two performances of Anything Is Possible at Vulcan museum, and Thursday I return to VHHS for a day of subbing.
So...there it is. Tomorrow's post will be longer, I promise. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown promises budget cuts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8255938.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
This week represents a much-needed return to what passes for normalcy in my life. Tomorrow I have two performances of Anything Is Possible at Vulcan museum, and Thursday I return to VHHS for a day of subbing.
So...there it is. Tomorrow's post will be longer, I promise. :-)
In today's News From The Motherland...Mr. Brown promises budget cuts...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8255938.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Sunday, September 13, 2009
TV
Day 23: Singin' In The Rain...Again...
When flipping through channels, as I usually, do, I am consistently amazed at how many people apparently think that someone with the secrets to making billions of dollars (while doing nothing) would actually sell that knowledge for three easy payments of $29.95. If I had that secret, I wouldn't tell a soul, and I would quietly and without fanfare, become disgustingly wealthy.
It also amazes me at how horribly most networks butcher old movies to make room for these commercials...but that's another rant for another time.
In today's News From The Motherland...Tokyo cracks down on subway groping...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8254389.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
When flipping through channels, as I usually, do, I am consistently amazed at how many people apparently think that someone with the secrets to making billions of dollars (while doing nothing) would actually sell that knowledge for three easy payments of $29.95. If I had that secret, I wouldn't tell a soul, and I would quietly and without fanfare, become disgustingly wealthy.
It also amazes me at how horribly most networks butcher old movies to make room for these commercials...but that's another rant for another time.
In today's News From The Motherland...Tokyo cracks down on subway groping...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8254389.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Beer, Beer, Beer
Day 22: A long time ago, way back in history,
When all there was to drink was nothin' but cups o' tea,
Along came a man by the name of Charley Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops...
(From the English drinking song, Beer Beer Beer.)
I like beer. No, scratch that...I love beer. I love the smell, the taste, and the sensation of holding a frosty mug/can/bottle in my hand. I like expensive foo-foo beer, and I like cheap PBR or Schaeffer. I like imports, and I like domestic. I am a fan of (in the words of my good friend and philosopher Brian "Skippy" Kidd) of an ice-cold barley pop.
A beer buzz is different from the feeling one gets from wine or a cocktail (both of which I hold in high regard, of course.) It brings to mind the tiddly feeling enjoyed on a chilly Christmastime evening in college, strolling the campus with one's true love (of the week) after quaffing a few at a holiday party. At other times, it conjures memories of lazy summer afternoons fishing or sitting at an outdoor concert. Beer is arguably the most sociable of all adult beverages. While I am sure I have enjoyed a beer solo on more than one occasion, the mere mention of it suggests conviviality and a jocularly communal spirit. When a 12-pack and ice chest meet, a gathering of friends is likely to follow...
I prefer draft beer, but bottled/canned is also quite good.
When I was in my early twenties, I spent a delightful summer in Manteo, North Carolina, performing in the outdoor drama The Lost Colony. Manteo is a cozy little town, one of two nestled on tiny Roanoake Island, on NC's Outer Banks. (Just for the record, the other town is called Wanchese, named, as was Manteo, for a famous Native American tribal leader.) One of the delights of Manteo was (and I suppose remains) The Weeping Radish Brewery, which served up gargantuan steins of freshly-brewed beer that was about as tasty as any I have ever sampled. The Weeping Radish was a popular place, particularly around payday.
There was once a rather inexpensive and (presumably) indelicate little brew known as Frothingslosh, which was quite popular in the early 1960's, if memory serves. My hero, the great Jim Backus, provided the voice-over for a series of commercials which happily observed "Oh my gosh! It's Frothingslosh!" It was also marketed as the only beer "with the foam on the bottom," which simply meant that the labels were applied upside down to the bottles and cans. Marketing is a fine thing...
This essay must now draw to a close, as the beer I was drinking whilst writing has oddly evaporated, leaving me with an empty can. Steps must be taken to remedy this ghastly turn of events...
In today's News From The Motherland...a forgotten treasure uncovered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8252978.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
When all there was to drink was nothin' but cups o' tea,
Along came a man by the name of Charley Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops...
(From the English drinking song, Beer Beer Beer.)
I like beer. No, scratch that...I love beer. I love the smell, the taste, and the sensation of holding a frosty mug/can/bottle in my hand. I like expensive foo-foo beer, and I like cheap PBR or Schaeffer. I like imports, and I like domestic. I am a fan of (in the words of my good friend and philosopher Brian "Skippy" Kidd) of an ice-cold barley pop.
A beer buzz is different from the feeling one gets from wine or a cocktail (both of which I hold in high regard, of course.) It brings to mind the tiddly feeling enjoyed on a chilly Christmastime evening in college, strolling the campus with one's true love (of the week) after quaffing a few at a holiday party. At other times, it conjures memories of lazy summer afternoons fishing or sitting at an outdoor concert. Beer is arguably the most sociable of all adult beverages. While I am sure I have enjoyed a beer solo on more than one occasion, the mere mention of it suggests conviviality and a jocularly communal spirit. When a 12-pack and ice chest meet, a gathering of friends is likely to follow...
I prefer draft beer, but bottled/canned is also quite good.
When I was in my early twenties, I spent a delightful summer in Manteo, North Carolina, performing in the outdoor drama The Lost Colony. Manteo is a cozy little town, one of two nestled on tiny Roanoake Island, on NC's Outer Banks. (Just for the record, the other town is called Wanchese, named, as was Manteo, for a famous Native American tribal leader.) One of the delights of Manteo was (and I suppose remains) The Weeping Radish Brewery, which served up gargantuan steins of freshly-brewed beer that was about as tasty as any I have ever sampled. The Weeping Radish was a popular place, particularly around payday.
There was once a rather inexpensive and (presumably) indelicate little brew known as Frothingslosh, which was quite popular in the early 1960's, if memory serves. My hero, the great Jim Backus, provided the voice-over for a series of commercials which happily observed "Oh my gosh! It's Frothingslosh!" It was also marketed as the only beer "with the foam on the bottom," which simply meant that the labels were applied upside down to the bottles and cans. Marketing is a fine thing...
This essay must now draw to a close, as the beer I was drinking whilst writing has oddly evaporated, leaving me with an empty can. Steps must be taken to remedy this ghastly turn of events...
In today's News From The Motherland...a forgotten treasure uncovered...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8252978.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, September 11, 2009
A Rainy Look At Art
Day 21: Singin' In The Rain...
Well, the plan for Lovey and me this evening is to have dinner with the Von Redlichs, (good friends from Tuscaloosa) and then to hit ArtWalk, which is a sort of art show/street fair here in Bham. So far, the weather has been capricious at best. I started the day in jeans, switched to shorts, went back to jeans and a jacket, and am now hot again...yes, we have gone from hot to cool to hot to cool and now back to hot, all in one day. No wonder everyone is sick. 'Tis the season to be contagious...
I do hope ArtWalk is not rained out. I also think the asshole senator who yelled at the president is an asshole, just in case you were wondering. It is his constitutional right to be a walking talking rectum, and I resepect that right, but it does not alter his basic constitution...
In today's News From The Motherland...pig races!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8251527.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Well, the plan for Lovey and me this evening is to have dinner with the Von Redlichs, (good friends from Tuscaloosa) and then to hit ArtWalk, which is a sort of art show/street fair here in Bham. So far, the weather has been capricious at best. I started the day in jeans, switched to shorts, went back to jeans and a jacket, and am now hot again...yes, we have gone from hot to cool to hot to cool and now back to hot, all in one day. No wonder everyone is sick. 'Tis the season to be contagious...
I do hope ArtWalk is not rained out. I also think the asshole senator who yelled at the president is an asshole, just in case you were wondering. It is his constitutional right to be a walking talking rectum, and I resepect that right, but it does not alter his basic constitution...
In today's News From The Motherland...pig races!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8251527.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Back On Track
Day 20: I have the best friends in the world.
Having taken another (hopefully understandable to my readers) two-day hiatus, I am now completely back on track. I had assumed after Monday's posting, all would be back to semi-normal, but how mistaken I was! As unpleasant as it may sound, I would encourage everyone to make as many funeral plans as possible while still living. I had no idea it took so much planning and decision-making in an extremely short time.
At any rate, my dad's funeral was extremely nice, if such an adjective can be applied. The clergy and florist and all the dozens of others who helped were outstanding, and it was well-attended. He was given a first-class sendoff, which is exactly what he would have wanted. Many many thanks to all my friends who called, emailed, came to the viewing and/or funeral, and just generally rallied around. I love you all, and thank you.
Now...looking ahead, I am eager to get started on rehearsal for Dames At Sea, which will begin in a couple of weeks. There is also Santa In Space at BCT, in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony. Toss in a couple of Vulcan performances and an installment or two of Politically Incorrect Cabaret, and it looks like the fall will be pretty full theatrically.
Speaking of theatrics, The Trial Of Larry Langford begs to be musicalized, and I think my friend Debbie Buie is working on it right now. I do hope Sherman Helmsley will be available for the title role. If the guy who played the prosecuting attorney in My Cousin Vinny is still alive, he would make a good Jim Parkman...perhaps the Jabba The Hutt puppet for John Katapodis?
In today's News From The Motherland...continued debate over global warming...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8249668.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Having taken another (hopefully understandable to my readers) two-day hiatus, I am now completely back on track. I had assumed after Monday's posting, all would be back to semi-normal, but how mistaken I was! As unpleasant as it may sound, I would encourage everyone to make as many funeral plans as possible while still living. I had no idea it took so much planning and decision-making in an extremely short time.
At any rate, my dad's funeral was extremely nice, if such an adjective can be applied. The clergy and florist and all the dozens of others who helped were outstanding, and it was well-attended. He was given a first-class sendoff, which is exactly what he would have wanted. Many many thanks to all my friends who called, emailed, came to the viewing and/or funeral, and just generally rallied around. I love you all, and thank you.
Now...looking ahead, I am eager to get started on rehearsal for Dames At Sea, which will begin in a couple of weeks. There is also Santa In Space at BCT, in which I play an alien. I smell a Tony. Toss in a couple of Vulcan performances and an installment or two of Politically Incorrect Cabaret, and it looks like the fall will be pretty full theatrically.
Speaking of theatrics, The Trial Of Larry Langford begs to be musicalized, and I think my friend Debbie Buie is working on it right now. I do hope Sherman Helmsley will be available for the title role. If the guy who played the prosecuting attorney in My Cousin Vinny is still alive, he would make a good Jim Parkman...perhaps the Jabba The Hutt puppet for John Katapodis?
In today's News From The Motherland...continued debate over global warming...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8249668.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Monday, September 07, 2009
Food, Glorious Food...
Day 19: "Anyone's entitled to be ugly but some people abuse the privilege." - Benny Hill
Today has been a day of huge feasting, which is to be expected, I suppose. There have been SO many sweet and wonderful people bringing food to my mother's house, and I don't want to insult anyone by omission, so I will just say THANK YOU to everyone who has come. It has been most appreciated.
I have been contemplating the motivation behind bringing food when someone dies. I suppose the basic goal is to save the family from having to worry about cooking or going out to eat...but I wonder if it doesn't go deeper than that. Food is symbolic, of course, of life. Is the unspoken message "life must go on?" Is there some spiritual "feeding the body feeds the soul" philosophy here? Or is it simply one of those kindnesses that have become so ritualized that nobody really knows the origin?
...or are people just essentially nice, good, and caring?
I'm opting for the latter. Any cynicsm I ever had about the basic goodness of Man (capital deliberate) has evaporated over the past few days.
In today's News From The Motherland...Sudan shows a remarkable moment of sanity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8244339.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Today has been a day of huge feasting, which is to be expected, I suppose. There have been SO many sweet and wonderful people bringing food to my mother's house, and I don't want to insult anyone by omission, so I will just say THANK YOU to everyone who has come. It has been most appreciated.
I have been contemplating the motivation behind bringing food when someone dies. I suppose the basic goal is to save the family from having to worry about cooking or going out to eat...but I wonder if it doesn't go deeper than that. Food is symbolic, of course, of life. Is the unspoken message "life must go on?" Is there some spiritual "feeding the body feeds the soul" philosophy here? Or is it simply one of those kindnesses that have become so ritualized that nobody really knows the origin?
...or are people just essentially nice, good, and caring?
I'm opting for the latter. Any cynicsm I ever had about the basic goodness of Man (capital deliberate) has evaporated over the past few days.
In today's News From The Motherland...Sudan shows a remarkable moment of sanity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8244339.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Hail To The Chief
Day 18: Please, don't squeeze the Charmin.
I wish I had fifty kids today, so I could sign fifty permission forms allowing my children to hear the president's speech. The actions of the reactionary right continue to mystify me...and no, I am not being a hypocrite. If George W. Bush had prepared an address to the children of America, I would have said that the kids should hear it. Politics aside, no reasonable person can honestly think that a sitting president would say something inappropriate in a speech being broadcast to millions of schoolchildren. (Cue the sigh and eye roll...)
Not much else to report. Just a short political rant today.
In today's News From The Motherland...Venice lauds Pixar.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8241282.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
I wish I had fifty kids today, so I could sign fifty permission forms allowing my children to hear the president's speech. The actions of the reactionary right continue to mystify me...and no, I am not being a hypocrite. If George W. Bush had prepared an address to the children of America, I would have said that the kids should hear it. Politics aside, no reasonable person can honestly think that a sitting president would say something inappropriate in a speech being broadcast to millions of schoolchildren. (Cue the sigh and eye roll...)
Not much else to report. Just a short political rant today.
In today's News From The Motherland...Venice lauds Pixar.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8241282.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Wet And Squishy
Day 17: Life goes on.
Today's title sounded more like an advertisement for a family-themed water park or a pair of secondary mischeif-making characters in a 70's sitcom...but, alas, it was simply a reference to the weather. It has been rainy today, but it's been pleasant. I sometimes enjoy a couple of days of steady, constant light rainfall. A crashing thunderstorm is exciting, but generally short-lived, whereas a heavy sprinkle may go on for hours and days. It's excellent napping weather.
My mother, my sister and I have gone into full-swing preparation mode for my dad's funeral. I have, of course, heard countless people talk about how complicated and involved the planning process is, but I always assumed that to be some sort of situational hyperbole...I mean come on, how difficult can it be to make a couple of phone calls and simple decisions?
Needless to say, my uppance has come for that little touch of hauteur.
It will certainly all get done, but I am now among the countless who will nod sympathetically at the recently bereaved and mumble some vague comment about how tough it is to make all the required arrangements. We have played divide and conquer on the event, and my main task has been handling things with the church. While everyone there has been wonderfully helpful and kind, it's just the sheer magnitude of the information one has to collect in such a short time that seems overwhelming....what's the last name of his friend who agreed to be a pallbearer?...what scripture reading would we like?...how many pews will be required for the family?...Sweet Mother Of God, I don't usually ponder this many questions in an hour, and now they all need to be answered on the spot in rapid succession... at one point I thought about simply shouting out random nonsense answers...orange! Seventeen! Photosynthesis! Henry V! It would have given the church staff something to talk about at lunch, at least... (btw, everything did get handled, and painlessly. If you ever have to execute a complicated task at a sad time, you couldn't be in better hands than those at Cathedral Church of the Advent. My fondest thanks to them.)
On other subjects, I have noticed that football season seems to have begun. I am sure I will go to a few parties this season, but I truly couldn't care less about the game. As a southern male, I am supposed to have the sports gene, but I just don't. Even stranger is the fact that I am a southern male who is also a graduate of The University Of Alabama, that football-mad elysium for those whose greatest dream is to attend a four-year sports bacchanal with an occasional class tossed in. Don't get me wrong...I love my alma mater, and I got an excellent education and had lots of fun. I just never understood the thrill behind sitting and watching 22 people lining up and crashing into each other in contest over the ability to run with a small ball across a grassy lawn towards an oddly-shaped giant fork.
I am, however, in a very tiny minority, and I am aware of that. ;-)
An irony of not complete insignificance dwells in the fact that aside from the game (or match or meet or whatever) I usually very much enjoy most of the activity surrounding a sporting event. I love football parties, provided there are enough party-goers rotating into the kitchen or bar area to talk to me. I love tailgate parties, especially if the weather is cool. I have been to one professional baseball game, and I felt like I was at a huge amusement park, which was delightful. I even like the sound of a football game being broadcast over the radio, which reminds me of Saturday afternoons in the fall when my parents would listen to the radio broadcasts of those UA games that were not televised. Sports stadium food? Love it! Slightly mushy hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts and beer...what's not to like? I love the feeling of togetherness that comes with visiting good friends during a televised game and sitting together around the tv. Above all, I love an excuse to drink at 11am and not look trashy. It's just watching the event itself that puts me to sleep. Oh well, it's not like I've never been the odd one before... ;-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a quest for truth in cigarette branding.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8239028.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Today's title sounded more like an advertisement for a family-themed water park or a pair of secondary mischeif-making characters in a 70's sitcom...but, alas, it was simply a reference to the weather. It has been rainy today, but it's been pleasant. I sometimes enjoy a couple of days of steady, constant light rainfall. A crashing thunderstorm is exciting, but generally short-lived, whereas a heavy sprinkle may go on for hours and days. It's excellent napping weather.
My mother, my sister and I have gone into full-swing preparation mode for my dad's funeral. I have, of course, heard countless people talk about how complicated and involved the planning process is, but I always assumed that to be some sort of situational hyperbole...I mean come on, how difficult can it be to make a couple of phone calls and simple decisions?
Needless to say, my uppance has come for that little touch of hauteur.
It will certainly all get done, but I am now among the countless who will nod sympathetically at the recently bereaved and mumble some vague comment about how tough it is to make all the required arrangements. We have played divide and conquer on the event, and my main task has been handling things with the church. While everyone there has been wonderfully helpful and kind, it's just the sheer magnitude of the information one has to collect in such a short time that seems overwhelming....what's the last name of his friend who agreed to be a pallbearer?...what scripture reading would we like?...how many pews will be required for the family?...Sweet Mother Of God, I don't usually ponder this many questions in an hour, and now they all need to be answered on the spot in rapid succession... at one point I thought about simply shouting out random nonsense answers...orange! Seventeen! Photosynthesis! Henry V! It would have given the church staff something to talk about at lunch, at least... (btw, everything did get handled, and painlessly. If you ever have to execute a complicated task at a sad time, you couldn't be in better hands than those at Cathedral Church of the Advent. My fondest thanks to them.)
On other subjects, I have noticed that football season seems to have begun. I am sure I will go to a few parties this season, but I truly couldn't care less about the game. As a southern male, I am supposed to have the sports gene, but I just don't. Even stranger is the fact that I am a southern male who is also a graduate of The University Of Alabama, that football-mad elysium for those whose greatest dream is to attend a four-year sports bacchanal with an occasional class tossed in. Don't get me wrong...I love my alma mater, and I got an excellent education and had lots of fun. I just never understood the thrill behind sitting and watching 22 people lining up and crashing into each other in contest over the ability to run with a small ball across a grassy lawn towards an oddly-shaped giant fork.
I am, however, in a very tiny minority, and I am aware of that. ;-)
An irony of not complete insignificance dwells in the fact that aside from the game (or match or meet or whatever) I usually very much enjoy most of the activity surrounding a sporting event. I love football parties, provided there are enough party-goers rotating into the kitchen or bar area to talk to me. I love tailgate parties, especially if the weather is cool. I have been to one professional baseball game, and I felt like I was at a huge amusement park, which was delightful. I even like the sound of a football game being broadcast over the radio, which reminds me of Saturday afternoons in the fall when my parents would listen to the radio broadcasts of those UA games that were not televised. Sports stadium food? Love it! Slightly mushy hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts and beer...what's not to like? I love the feeling of togetherness that comes with visiting good friends during a televised game and sitting together around the tv. Above all, I love an excuse to drink at 11am and not look trashy. It's just watching the event itself that puts me to sleep. Oh well, it's not like I've never been the odd one before... ;-)
In today's News From The Motherland...a quest for truth in cigarette branding.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8239028.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Friday, September 04, 2009
A Non-Depressing Retrospective
Day 16: Not the happiest of days. This, however, is a happy post.
If there are any among my handful of readers who are keeping up with the dates of postings, I will confess to them that I did, indeed, skip a day of posting on my 365-day marathon. Given the circumstances, I think you will all give me a pass this once.
My dad passed away early this morning, just after midnight. My mother and sister were with him when he died, and assured me that it was peaceful, relaxed, and all the other things one seeks in a "good" death. While we are all very sad, of course, all of the cliches about relief at the end of great suffering can and must be applied. He had been basically immobile for a couple of months, the result of which was tremendous discomfort. He was (due to a combination of ever-lessening oxygen to the brain and massive painkillers) either somewhat disoriented or asleep for the last couple of weeks of his life. We will miss him, but he was ready to go.
I sincerely hope that it does not seem disrespectful or cold to compose a blog post on a day like this, but it just seems like the thing to do. A wonderful, loving, funny, delightful soul is gone, and if I can communicate just a bit of his essence to even one person...well, I will have done a good thing.
For those who never met my dad (called "Bud" by his children, his wife, and everyone who knew him...a slightly truncated version of his childhood nickname, "Buddy Boy,") he was an extremely warm person. While almost a bit shy, he genuinely enjoyed getting to know people, particularly my and my sister's friends. He wasn't just polite and detatched...he asked them questions, honestly listened to the answers, and remembered a little point of reference for everyone he met. Even if he was only able to toss in something along the lines of "your mother is a nurse, right?" or "I remember you...you like baseball," he was always able to personalize any subsequent meeting with a new acquaintance. I am happy to say that my friends always liked him.
Guests brought home to my parents' house always left slightly fatter, a fact that always delighted my dad. For some bizarre reason he took great interest in what people ate. If you were around him more than once or twice, chances are you were asked what you had for breakfast or lunch that day, dinner the night before, etc. Again,this was no mere courtesy question. He was, for whatever reason, honestly fascinated with the subject. He might just nod and say a word or two of admiration/approval, or he may ask detailed questions about how whatever it was tasted/was prepared/etc. I was simultaneously delighted and perplexed by this.
Kids were important to my dad, and he had a very soft and tender heart when it came to them. Although he was definitely thrifty by nature, the one cause that would always have him reaching for his wallet was needy children. He gave to Toys For Tots, The Salvation Army's Christmas efforts, and that sort of thing, but more telling still were the numerous times I would see him slip a few bills to one of his employees who may have been having a tough go of it, telling them to "get a little surprise for Jimmy" (or Suzie, or Billy, or Vladimir, or whatever the child's name happened to be.) After the recipient walked away, he would usually say something very vague along the lines of "they don't have much, and that little kid needs some toys" or "bless his heart, that poor fellow works like a horse, and they don't have much, but they have a little girl at home and she needs something nice." That's the kind of person he was. (Incidentally, if he said "bless his heart," it wasn't southern shorthand for "as soon as I say this, I can say something hateful." He really wished blessings upon the subject in reference.)
While certainly intelligent and educated, Bud never stopped being himself. I have always thought of my dad as a cross between Buddy Ebsen and Andy Griffith. He was smart, but slightly folksy, with a quick wit that dwelled comfortably within a soft-spoken, gently drawling ease. He was always the perfect gentleman, never once losing his manners (he would sooner have died than to have taken a bite of food before my mother started eating) but never made those around him feel anything but completely relaxed. If I can ever be half as genteel as he was, I will be just fine.
My dad also had a splendid sense of humor. We usually found the same things funny...we were both great fans of Are You Being Served, the 1970's British sitcom set in a department store (clearly meant to depict Harrod's.) It seems so ridiculous to remember this right now, but there was one particular moment where one character told another to "hold himself in readiness" which made us both laugh uncontrollably. (Yes, I came by my eccentricity honestly...) The Three Stooges, Larry McMurtry novels, Soap, and any movie starring Richard Pryor would always crack us up. He also shared my love of comedy arising from the completely random or misplaced. One of his (and my) favorite musicals, Oliver!, tells the story of the cruelly mistreated Oliver Twist. Whenever Oliver asked for more gruel, one or both (usually both) of us would say "greedy little bastard." Laughter would always follow, each of us as amused as we were the 50 times preceeding.
My dad was an outdoorsman, and he loved to fish (a passion which I share) and to hunt (which I do not.) He also enjoyed sports, which I don't. In so many cases, this would be a perfect setup for a bad relationship. In my case, not so...Bud never pushed his interests onto me, nor did he express anything less than a sincere interest in mine. (While I never got him onstage, I did get him into the audience about a bajillion times. :-) He frequently said that you don't "raise" your children as much as you "let them unfold." This was a civilized man.
We both appreciated and enjoyed election years, and my dad had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of 20th century American politics. This shared enthusiasm gave birth to some of the best conversations we ever had. I remember driving home after seeing A Christmas Carol at ASF. Bud had driven from Birmingham to Tuscaloosa (where I lived,) where we had dinner and then rode down to Montgomery together. Driving back in a thick fog, we had to drive very slowly for safety. Somehow we started talking about the Nixon White House, Nixon's pre-Watergate accomplishments, and his (Nixon's) grasp on foreign policy. It was a discussion straight out of Firing Line or McNeil-Lehrer...completely cerebral/intellectual, and with a hint of look-how-smart-we-are.
Five minutes later, we were both laughing at my imitation of a drunken, foul-mouthed Bob Dole cursing out a crowd of reporters. God, his sense of humor...
Bud was a very cautious, calm, "let's think this out clearly" sort of fellow. This quality made his few massive blunders perfectly marvelous. The one which comes immediately to mind is the never-ending backyard fence. Two summers ago, he decided to erect a fence so that his dog could play in the backyard. Fine. Good. So far, normal. Ever the devoted son, I agreed to dig "a little trench" along one side of the yard to level off the ground so that the top of the fence would be level. This was originally sold to me as a two-days-at-the-most project...
Two years later, and still no fence. There is a huge, gaping gash in my parents' backyard. Seriously, it looks like baby Superman's rocket skidded to a halt behind the house. I have moved the square-foot equivalent of Rhode Island in dirt. Three refineries' worth of fence posts have disappeared into the abyss...and the dog still lives in the basement. Oh well, he seems happy there...
I could go on and on, but I won't. If you've read this far, you've gotten the point. My dad is gone, and I am going to miss him like hell, but I am truly grateful for the 39 years I had with him. They were fun, they were happy, and they were interesting. Most of all, I never doubted for one second that I was completely, totally, and unconditionally loved.
No News From The Motherland today. This is Father's Day. :-)
Cheers!
FLT3
If there are any among my handful of readers who are keeping up with the dates of postings, I will confess to them that I did, indeed, skip a day of posting on my 365-day marathon. Given the circumstances, I think you will all give me a pass this once.
My dad passed away early this morning, just after midnight. My mother and sister were with him when he died, and assured me that it was peaceful, relaxed, and all the other things one seeks in a "good" death. While we are all very sad, of course, all of the cliches about relief at the end of great suffering can and must be applied. He had been basically immobile for a couple of months, the result of which was tremendous discomfort. He was (due to a combination of ever-lessening oxygen to the brain and massive painkillers) either somewhat disoriented or asleep for the last couple of weeks of his life. We will miss him, but he was ready to go.
I sincerely hope that it does not seem disrespectful or cold to compose a blog post on a day like this, but it just seems like the thing to do. A wonderful, loving, funny, delightful soul is gone, and if I can communicate just a bit of his essence to even one person...well, I will have done a good thing.
For those who never met my dad (called "Bud" by his children, his wife, and everyone who knew him...a slightly truncated version of his childhood nickname, "Buddy Boy,") he was an extremely warm person. While almost a bit shy, he genuinely enjoyed getting to know people, particularly my and my sister's friends. He wasn't just polite and detatched...he asked them questions, honestly listened to the answers, and remembered a little point of reference for everyone he met. Even if he was only able to toss in something along the lines of "your mother is a nurse, right?" or "I remember you...you like baseball," he was always able to personalize any subsequent meeting with a new acquaintance. I am happy to say that my friends always liked him.
Guests brought home to my parents' house always left slightly fatter, a fact that always delighted my dad. For some bizarre reason he took great interest in what people ate. If you were around him more than once or twice, chances are you were asked what you had for breakfast or lunch that day, dinner the night before, etc. Again,this was no mere courtesy question. He was, for whatever reason, honestly fascinated with the subject. He might just nod and say a word or two of admiration/approval, or he may ask detailed questions about how whatever it was tasted/was prepared/etc. I was simultaneously delighted and perplexed by this.
Kids were important to my dad, and he had a very soft and tender heart when it came to them. Although he was definitely thrifty by nature, the one cause that would always have him reaching for his wallet was needy children. He gave to Toys For Tots, The Salvation Army's Christmas efforts, and that sort of thing, but more telling still were the numerous times I would see him slip a few bills to one of his employees who may have been having a tough go of it, telling them to "get a little surprise for Jimmy" (or Suzie, or Billy, or Vladimir, or whatever the child's name happened to be.) After the recipient walked away, he would usually say something very vague along the lines of "they don't have much, and that little kid needs some toys" or "bless his heart, that poor fellow works like a horse, and they don't have much, but they have a little girl at home and she needs something nice." That's the kind of person he was. (Incidentally, if he said "bless his heart," it wasn't southern shorthand for "as soon as I say this, I can say something hateful." He really wished blessings upon the subject in reference.)
While certainly intelligent and educated, Bud never stopped being himself. I have always thought of my dad as a cross between Buddy Ebsen and Andy Griffith. He was smart, but slightly folksy, with a quick wit that dwelled comfortably within a soft-spoken, gently drawling ease. He was always the perfect gentleman, never once losing his manners (he would sooner have died than to have taken a bite of food before my mother started eating) but never made those around him feel anything but completely relaxed. If I can ever be half as genteel as he was, I will be just fine.
My dad also had a splendid sense of humor. We usually found the same things funny...we were both great fans of Are You Being Served, the 1970's British sitcom set in a department store (clearly meant to depict Harrod's.) It seems so ridiculous to remember this right now, but there was one particular moment where one character told another to "hold himself in readiness" which made us both laugh uncontrollably. (Yes, I came by my eccentricity honestly...) The Three Stooges, Larry McMurtry novels, Soap, and any movie starring Richard Pryor would always crack us up. He also shared my love of comedy arising from the completely random or misplaced. One of his (and my) favorite musicals, Oliver!, tells the story of the cruelly mistreated Oliver Twist. Whenever Oliver asked for more gruel, one or both (usually both) of us would say "greedy little bastard." Laughter would always follow, each of us as amused as we were the 50 times preceeding.
My dad was an outdoorsman, and he loved to fish (a passion which I share) and to hunt (which I do not.) He also enjoyed sports, which I don't. In so many cases, this would be a perfect setup for a bad relationship. In my case, not so...Bud never pushed his interests onto me, nor did he express anything less than a sincere interest in mine. (While I never got him onstage, I did get him into the audience about a bajillion times. :-) He frequently said that you don't "raise" your children as much as you "let them unfold." This was a civilized man.
We both appreciated and enjoyed election years, and my dad had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of 20th century American politics. This shared enthusiasm gave birth to some of the best conversations we ever had. I remember driving home after seeing A Christmas Carol at ASF. Bud had driven from Birmingham to Tuscaloosa (where I lived,) where we had dinner and then rode down to Montgomery together. Driving back in a thick fog, we had to drive very slowly for safety. Somehow we started talking about the Nixon White House, Nixon's pre-Watergate accomplishments, and his (Nixon's) grasp on foreign policy. It was a discussion straight out of Firing Line or McNeil-Lehrer...completely cerebral/intellectual, and with a hint of look-how-smart-we-are.
Five minutes later, we were both laughing at my imitation of a drunken, foul-mouthed Bob Dole cursing out a crowd of reporters. God, his sense of humor...
Bud was a very cautious, calm, "let's think this out clearly" sort of fellow. This quality made his few massive blunders perfectly marvelous. The one which comes immediately to mind is the never-ending backyard fence. Two summers ago, he decided to erect a fence so that his dog could play in the backyard. Fine. Good. So far, normal. Ever the devoted son, I agreed to dig "a little trench" along one side of the yard to level off the ground so that the top of the fence would be level. This was originally sold to me as a two-days-at-the-most project...
Two years later, and still no fence. There is a huge, gaping gash in my parents' backyard. Seriously, it looks like baby Superman's rocket skidded to a halt behind the house. I have moved the square-foot equivalent of Rhode Island in dirt. Three refineries' worth of fence posts have disappeared into the abyss...and the dog still lives in the basement. Oh well, he seems happy there...
I could go on and on, but I won't. If you've read this far, you've gotten the point. My dad is gone, and I am going to miss him like hell, but I am truly grateful for the 39 years I had with him. They were fun, they were happy, and they were interesting. Most of all, I never doubted for one second that I was completely, totally, and unconditionally loved.
No News From The Motherland today. This is Father's Day. :-)
Cheers!
FLT3
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Wal-Mart Dreams And Stranger Things...
Day 15: Fancy Wedgwood can fit in with casual cousins...or so says the newspaper.
Last night I found myself once again at Wal-Mart, the great mecca of all commerce. It was, as usual, a pleasant enough experience. As much as one can point to Wal-Mart as an example of all that is excessive about American culture, I must confess that I, like everyone else, would be lost without it.
Wal-Mart (along with it's upscale cousin, Target) has truly redefined the concept of shopping over the past 25 years or so. While convenience stores and department stores certainly existed in the pre-WM era, Sam Walton's brainchild was one of the first megamart shopping arenas. For the first time, one could buy groceries, housewares, plants and automotive supplies under one roof, and at affordable prices. Now that the roster of services offered has expanded to include an optical clinic, various fast-food emporiums (emporii?) and a beauty salon, all Wal-Mart really needs to be a self-contained community is a school system and a hospital. One could arguably live an entire lifetime without leaving Wal-Mart, much like the Chinese boat people who never touch dry land.
When I was a kid, I remember the Saturday shopping trips I used to take with my mother and sister. These were all-day events, which included (usually) a trip to Loveman's (a department store which no longer exists,) Rich's (ditto,) Pizitz (are you spotting a pattern? Perhaps we inadvertently cursed these places somehow) and at least one or two other department stores. We would usually make a pass through the bookstore and sometimes a music shop. There was always a break for lunch somewhere, followed by a visit to the (yes) now-defunct Pizitz Bake Shop for pastries for Sunday morning. All of this can now be accomplished for the most part at Wal-Mart, with the exception of higer-end clothing...but can it really be too long before a couture boutique and/or Brooks Brothers outlet opens in WM? I wouldn't be surprised...
Which begs the question: has the convenience of the Wal-Mart/Target (et al) era homogenized some of the fun out of a shopping trip? As is usually the case, has efficiency and order somehow robbed the experience of a certain charm? The family dinner table has given way to microwave and/or takeout food eaten whenever the individual's schedule will allow, and the daily newspaper gasps out a dying breath at the hands of up-to-the-minute internet news feeds...can shopping as recreation be on the decline? I certainly hope not.
On the other hand, as long as there are people who need dog food, Liz Taylor cologne and/or a John Grisham novel at 3am, Wal-Mart will ever serve a purpose.
In today's News From The Motherland...the Mini provides jobs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8235025.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Last night I found myself once again at Wal-Mart, the great mecca of all commerce. It was, as usual, a pleasant enough experience. As much as one can point to Wal-Mart as an example of all that is excessive about American culture, I must confess that I, like everyone else, would be lost without it.
Wal-Mart (along with it's upscale cousin, Target) has truly redefined the concept of shopping over the past 25 years or so. While convenience stores and department stores certainly existed in the pre-WM era, Sam Walton's brainchild was one of the first megamart shopping arenas. For the first time, one could buy groceries, housewares, plants and automotive supplies under one roof, and at affordable prices. Now that the roster of services offered has expanded to include an optical clinic, various fast-food emporiums (emporii?) and a beauty salon, all Wal-Mart really needs to be a self-contained community is a school system and a hospital. One could arguably live an entire lifetime without leaving Wal-Mart, much like the Chinese boat people who never touch dry land.
When I was a kid, I remember the Saturday shopping trips I used to take with my mother and sister. These were all-day events, which included (usually) a trip to Loveman's (a department store which no longer exists,) Rich's (ditto,) Pizitz (are you spotting a pattern? Perhaps we inadvertently cursed these places somehow) and at least one or two other department stores. We would usually make a pass through the bookstore and sometimes a music shop. There was always a break for lunch somewhere, followed by a visit to the (yes) now-defunct Pizitz Bake Shop for pastries for Sunday morning. All of this can now be accomplished for the most part at Wal-Mart, with the exception of higer-end clothing...but can it really be too long before a couture boutique and/or Brooks Brothers outlet opens in WM? I wouldn't be surprised...
Which begs the question: has the convenience of the Wal-Mart/Target (et al) era homogenized some of the fun out of a shopping trip? As is usually the case, has efficiency and order somehow robbed the experience of a certain charm? The family dinner table has given way to microwave and/or takeout food eaten whenever the individual's schedule will allow, and the daily newspaper gasps out a dying breath at the hands of up-to-the-minute internet news feeds...can shopping as recreation be on the decline? I certainly hope not.
On the other hand, as long as there are people who need dog food, Liz Taylor cologne and/or a John Grisham novel at 3am, Wal-Mart will ever serve a purpose.
In today's News From The Motherland...the Mini provides jobs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8235025.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
When Will The Madness End...?
Day 14: Fish don't fry in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill.
Well, friends, the news is out. Those bastions of fertility and right-wing thought, The Duggars, are having another baby. Say it ain't so, I know...as wild as it sounds, the tv reality show that was once called 17 Kids And Counting, and then 18 Kids And Counting, will soon have to add 19 to the title.
Patriarch (and clearly randy old bastard) Jim Bob Duggar just can't keep his hands off the luscious Michelle, with her fundamentalist hair and ankle-length skirts. Then again, what man could resist? There's just something about her, I suppose...maybe it's her rapier wit and intellect...
The Duggars have several children who are clearly destined to go bad (including a daughter who's on the fast train to slutsville and a son who looks as if he might enjoy starting fires,) a few that may or may not be brain-damaged, and at least one that is already pretty blatantly homosexual. These are the fun, entertaining ones who will most likely grow up to become adults you would want to invite to a party.
On the other end of the spectrum, several of the litter have obviously upended the Kool-Aid glass and come back asking for more. Holy-rolly fundamentalism seems to appeal to them, and they look and act like the mealy little prats who always made hall monitor. These are the uptight, priggish ones you really want to slap.
I have been gently reprimanded on more than one occasion for my attitude surrounding this circus of procreative arts, and I really don't mean to be unkind. I obviously watch the show (even if it is largely to make fun of it) and I must confess...I enjoy it. Yes, it may be akin to the enjoyment one gets from watching a car crash, but still...
Just for the record, The Duggars DO seem happy, and Jim Bob clearly rules with a velvet glove around the iron fist. He reminds you of the goofy but well-meaning hick at work who really wants to be liked, so you begrudgingly become his friend...and then realize that he is oddly likeable. Michelle is just too damn exhausted from shooting out kids to be much more than vaguely complacent, and most of the kids are amusing in one way or another.
I think what bothers me is the whole "Quiverfull" concept, to which the Duggars clearly subscribe. In short, it is a movement (popularized by appalachian fundamentalists,) which basically says to have as many kids as possible so they (the kids) can all grow up and vote Republican. No, I'm not kidding. If the Duggars keep going at this rate, they can influence Arkansas politics for years to come...
Oh well, they seem to be able to afford a houseful of kids, so good for them...it just seems contra naturam to have children younger than one's grandchildren. What's sad is that this is not the weirdest thing about these people...they condemn dancing as sinful, but mom and dad are clearly lust-driven sex maniacs with an Aqua Net fetish. It's amusing yet unsettling...and by the way, they are cerebral sophisticates compared to their friends, the Bates Family. I won't say the Bateses are inbred, but they missed a good chance. Imagine an Amish family without the old-world charm and more irritating accents.
Tune in next time...
In today's News From The Motherland...no cell phones in the pub.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/8232798.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
Well, friends, the news is out. Those bastions of fertility and right-wing thought, The Duggars, are having another baby. Say it ain't so, I know...as wild as it sounds, the tv reality show that was once called 17 Kids And Counting, and then 18 Kids And Counting, will soon have to add 19 to the title.
Patriarch (and clearly randy old bastard) Jim Bob Duggar just can't keep his hands off the luscious Michelle, with her fundamentalist hair and ankle-length skirts. Then again, what man could resist? There's just something about her, I suppose...maybe it's her rapier wit and intellect...
The Duggars have several children who are clearly destined to go bad (including a daughter who's on the fast train to slutsville and a son who looks as if he might enjoy starting fires,) a few that may or may not be brain-damaged, and at least one that is already pretty blatantly homosexual. These are the fun, entertaining ones who will most likely grow up to become adults you would want to invite to a party.
On the other end of the spectrum, several of the litter have obviously upended the Kool-Aid glass and come back asking for more. Holy-rolly fundamentalism seems to appeal to them, and they look and act like the mealy little prats who always made hall monitor. These are the uptight, priggish ones you really want to slap.
I have been gently reprimanded on more than one occasion for my attitude surrounding this circus of procreative arts, and I really don't mean to be unkind. I obviously watch the show (even if it is largely to make fun of it) and I must confess...I enjoy it. Yes, it may be akin to the enjoyment one gets from watching a car crash, but still...
Just for the record, The Duggars DO seem happy, and Jim Bob clearly rules with a velvet glove around the iron fist. He reminds you of the goofy but well-meaning hick at work who really wants to be liked, so you begrudgingly become his friend...and then realize that he is oddly likeable. Michelle is just too damn exhausted from shooting out kids to be much more than vaguely complacent, and most of the kids are amusing in one way or another.
I think what bothers me is the whole "Quiverfull" concept, to which the Duggars clearly subscribe. In short, it is a movement (popularized by appalachian fundamentalists,) which basically says to have as many kids as possible so they (the kids) can all grow up and vote Republican. No, I'm not kidding. If the Duggars keep going at this rate, they can influence Arkansas politics for years to come...
Oh well, they seem to be able to afford a houseful of kids, so good for them...it just seems contra naturam to have children younger than one's grandchildren. What's sad is that this is not the weirdest thing about these people...they condemn dancing as sinful, but mom and dad are clearly lust-driven sex maniacs with an Aqua Net fetish. It's amusing yet unsettling...and by the way, they are cerebral sophisticates compared to their friends, the Bates Family. I won't say the Bateses are inbred, but they missed a good chance. Imagine an Amish family without the old-world charm and more irritating accents.
Tune in next time...
In today's News From The Motherland...no cell phones in the pub.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/8232798.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
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