Pimp Of The Year?

Day 25: Brands belong on cattle, and that ain't what we're sellin' at Miss Mona's.
- from the Broadway musical "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"

I have been following with some interest the recent foofaraw and kerfuffle (sp? who knows?) over the undercover "pimp and whore" who applied for ACORN assistance and were somewhat cryptically instructed on how to receive a subsidy. While I firmly belive that such commerce between two consenting adults is completely their business, even I have to suggest that perhaps this is not exactly the sort of free enterprise that warrants governmental support. Lest my readers think I have fallen victim to some trumped-up bluenose morality, fear not...it just seems a senseless waste of money. I mean, beyond the hotel expense (which one can reasonably assume will be included in the fee quoted by Jasmine/Dakota/Stormee-With-Two-Ees,) the weekly case of condoms, and the occasional bottle of drugstore perfume, how many business expenses can legitimately be associated with this endeavor? When one stops to consider...it truly is one of the most low-overhead enterprises around. (And yes, I know the use of "overhead" in this context can easily inspire Beavis And Butthead levels of giggling. Feel free to indulge. I certainly did.)

One also has to wonder how the application was approached. Did the applicant list himself and his partner as "Mr Cleavon Velveteen Jones and Cherry Poptart, The Celebrated Courtesan To The Masses?" or did he express himself with the more earthy, understated sort of "JoJo Washington and Ho" patois so favored by inner-city hooligans and Kanye West? One does indeed wonder...

Are purple zebra-print miniskirts considered deductable business expenses? How about herpes medication? Heroin spoons? Lime-green Cadillacs? These are questions which must be answered if we are to legitimize this oldest of professions. What of unionization? Perhaps a political action group...I propose CROTCH (Credentialed Registered Order of Theraputic Caressing and Handling) as a catchy acronym. I think it could catch on.

This could quickly hit the gutter (too late, you say?) so I suppose I will quit while I'm ahead. (Yes, feel free to have another Beavis And Butthead moment now.)

In today's News From The Motherland...a singing star helps out...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8259388.stm

Cheers!
FLT3