Day 14: Fish don't fry in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill.
Well, friends, the news is out. Those bastions of fertility and right-wing thought, The Duggars, are having another baby. Say it ain't so, I know...as wild as it sounds, the tv reality show that was once called 17 Kids And Counting, and then 18 Kids And Counting, will soon have to add 19 to the title.
Patriarch (and clearly randy old bastard) Jim Bob Duggar just can't keep his hands off the luscious Michelle, with her fundamentalist hair and ankle-length skirts. Then again, what man could resist? There's just something about her, I suppose...maybe it's her rapier wit and intellect...
The Duggars have several children who are clearly destined to go bad (including a daughter who's on the fast train to slutsville and a son who looks as if he might enjoy starting fires,) a few that may or may not be brain-damaged, and at least one that is already pretty blatantly homosexual. These are the fun, entertaining ones who will most likely grow up to become adults you would want to invite to a party.
On the other end of the spectrum, several of the litter have obviously upended the Kool-Aid glass and come back asking for more. Holy-rolly fundamentalism seems to appeal to them, and they look and act like the mealy little prats who always made hall monitor. These are the uptight, priggish ones you really want to slap.
I have been gently reprimanded on more than one occasion for my attitude surrounding this circus of procreative arts, and I really don't mean to be unkind. I obviously watch the show (even if it is largely to make fun of it) and I must confess...I enjoy it. Yes, it may be akin to the enjoyment one gets from watching a car crash, but still...
Just for the record, The Duggars DO seem happy, and Jim Bob clearly rules with a velvet glove around the iron fist. He reminds you of the goofy but well-meaning hick at work who really wants to be liked, so you begrudgingly become his friend...and then realize that he is oddly likeable. Michelle is just too damn exhausted from shooting out kids to be much more than vaguely complacent, and most of the kids are amusing in one way or another.
I think what bothers me is the whole "Quiverfull" concept, to which the Duggars clearly subscribe. In short, it is a movement (popularized by appalachian fundamentalists,) which basically says to have as many kids as possible so they (the kids) can all grow up and vote Republican. No, I'm not kidding. If the Duggars keep going at this rate, they can influence Arkansas politics for years to come...
Oh well, they seem to be able to afford a houseful of kids, so good for them...it just seems contra naturam to have children younger than one's grandchildren. What's sad is that this is not the weirdest thing about these people...they condemn dancing as sinful, but mom and dad are clearly lust-driven sex maniacs with an Aqua Net fetish. It's amusing yet unsettling...and by the way, they are cerebral sophisticates compared to their friends, the Bates Family. I won't say the Bateses are inbred, but they missed a good chance. Imagine an Amish family without the old-world charm and more irritating accents.
Tune in next time...
In today's News From The Motherland...no cell phones in the pub.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/8232798.stm
Cheers!
FLT3
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