Turn Your Radio On...

Well, last night marked my first story broadcast on "Tapestry," the WBHM arts show. All in all, I was happy with it. The Mayor's Arts Awards Ceremony isn't exactly breaking news, but it was (I think) informative and interesting. So far I haven't had anyone tell me how terrible it was, so I guess I'm okay...:-) I am really looking forward to doing more for this program.

Nothing else new or eventful going on. My favorite "Seinfeld" was on last night, if that counts... (the one where Kramer retires and moves in with Jerry's parents, and Jerry's dad runs Kramer for president of the retirement community.) I really miss that show, but thanks to reruns, it'll always be on somewhere.

Just to see if anyone's reading, what's YOUR favorite Seinfeld? For bonus points, what's your favorite "Gilligan's Island?" (Mine is the one with the pancake syrup glue.)

FLT3

Whistling In The Dark...

My apologies to those among you who actually read these musings...I have been very slack about posting for the past few weeks.

"Politically Incorrect Cabaret" was a great success, despite having been performed in the dark. About one hour before showtime, a transformer blew somewhere in the area, and the entire hall was plunged into darkness. After some deliberation, it was decided that "the show must go on," and Ron Dometrovich (guitarist for the production) and I went in search of battery-powered lanterns. With these and a few random flashlights, we did the show. It gave the evening the true feel of an underground cabaret...fun, but the sort of fun you only want to have once in a great while. Andy Duxbury was, as always, a hit as the confrere, and I managed to make it through his re-written version of "Ya Got Trouble" with no glaring mistakes or stutters...whew!

WHOREHOUSE is going extremely well...we are now trying to finalize all of the set construction duties, which is a little daunting, but with many hands come light work, and I think it will all come together.

Rich's is still a job. No more, no less.

Winter Wonderland

Yep...it's WINTER and I am WONDERing where the warm weather went in our LAND.

Today's high is barely supposed to break freezing, and tonight's low is 18 degrees. This is NOT the kind of weather for which one lives in Alabama. Leave this nonsense to those well above the Mason-Dixon line. Grrrr...

After almost 2 weeks of temperatures in the 70's, I have gotten very spoiled. Spring can not come soon enough for yours faithfully. Thoughts of sun, the beach, and heat advisories dance around my mind all day long, as the outdoor ice cooler continues to freeze over. I can only take comfort in the knowledge that by mid-February, we are usually enjoying lots of spring-like days with only the occasional burst of arctic air. If/when I ever make my fortune, I'm buying a house on the equator.

WHOREHOUSE is going well. Rich's is...well, it's a job. Yesterday, I got $5 and a candy bar (no joke) as a bonus for enticing a customer into opening a new in-house charge account. Beyond that, work has been uneventful.

FLT3

When the roll is called...

well, maybe not up yonder, but right here...

Good read-through tonight. For those who keep up with Bham theatre, here is the cast list for WHOREHOUSE:

BANDLEADER.....Ron Dometrovich
MISS MONA........Celeste Burnum
SHERIFF ED EARL DODD...John Falkenberry
MELVIN P. THORPE....Don Everett Garrett
THE GOVERNOR...Frank Thompson
DOATSY MAE........Christie Kosatka
C.J. SCRUGGS........Terry Hermes
RUFUS.....................Raymond Quintero
EDSEL/TV COLORMAN....Andrew Duxbury
SENATOR WINGWOAH....Brent Jones
JEWEL..................................TBA
ANGEL..........................Holly Dikeman
SHY/IMOGENE CHARLENE...Vallerie Paulin
ELOISE............Shannon Andrews
TADDY JO.......Jacinda Carlisle
LINDA LOU....Leah Luker
RUBY RAE......Kim Dometrovich
BEATRICE......Ashley Combs
DAWN..............Leticia de la Rosa
DURLA............Dana (still need last name)
GINGER/ANGELETTE.....Katie Hines
HARLEY MAE/REPORTER....................Melissa Bailey
FLORENCE...........Kerrie Benson
BETTY SUE/ANGELETTE.....Angela Stephens
LURLEEN/ANGELETTE........Sheila (still need last name)
GOVERNOR'S AIDE/TOWNSPERSON........Dave Crabb
MELVIN P. THORPE SINGERS..........Eileen Ellison
Lesa Zabowski
Francine Lovette
CAMERAMAN/AGGIE COACH/REPORTER #1..........Joe Towey
SHY KID/SCANDINAVIAN AGGIE/REPORTER....Connor McCarty
FARMER/AGGIE/TOWNSPERSON.......Chuck Evans
PHOTOGRAPHER/TOWNSPERSON......Karly Tucker
TV STAGE MANAGER/KC/TOWNSPERSON....Jimmy Gibb
REPORTER #3/ANGELETTE/TOWNSPERSON....Madeline Wadley
REPORTER #2/TOWNSPERSON...Megan Hall
PHOTOGRAPHER/TOWNSPERSON....Katie Hallman
ASSISTANT/AGGIE/TOWNSPERSON...Thomas Hyde

There will be a few more added over the next few days, but there's the gist. :-)

Come To The Cabaret...

"Politically Incorrect Cabaret" rehearsal is tomorrow, followed by WHOREHOUSE auditions, so it should be a full day...the cabaret shows continue to get better and better, due largely to the efforts of co-creators Diane McNaron, Elise Mayer, and Andy Duxbury. Some of the material is truly worthy of the best of "Saturday Night Live" with a slightly more cerebral edge. They really have come up with some great material, and for my part, Dubya is just so damn easy to lampoon. It really is like shooting dead fish in a tiny barrel with a bazooka...

Well, inventory time is over at Rich's, and everyone survived. Two days of beginning work at 6:00 am did not kill me after all, although my sleep pattern is completely confused. For the past two nights I have gotten about 4 hours of sleep, punctuated by an hourly wake-up-and-check-the-clock ritual that always plagues me when I know I have to get up early. When I get done with work, I'll take a nap for a couple of hours, and then wake up to a darkened room, not knowing whether the 6:12 on the clock means am or pm...I'm not sure I really even know what day it is.

Lift that barge, tote that bale...

It's inventory time in luggage-land! Today was spent prepping all the merchandise and counting everything so that an inventory company can come in and "officially" count everything. I know, this carries the same sense of illogic as cleaning up the house so that the maid can come and clean it, but oh well...

Tomorrow's workday begins at 6:00am, an hour I have not seen in years except when preceeded by a wild night of debauchery. Greeting it after a short sleep will be interesting, to say the least.

FLT3

Texas Has A Whorehouse In It...

Getting everything ready for WHOREHOUSE auditions is taking up a lot of this week's time. There seems to be a great deal of interest in the show, and I anticipate a good turnout this weekend. The Burt Reynolds/Dolly Parton film version was on one of the cable channels last night, so I took that as a good omen.

The "Politically Incorrect Cabaret" group is re-assembling this weekend to get started on the next installment of the always-entertaining political humor series. I will once again take the stage as the insincere, bumbling, malaproping George "Dubya" Bush. Andy Duxbury has written a hilarious duet for myself and "Laura" (played by Kim Dometrovich) to the tune of "Make Believe" from SHOW BOAT, and I understand that a rewritten version of "Ya Got Trouble" from THE MUSIC MAN is also in the works. This should be great fun. Oh, and while we're on politics...HILLARY IN '08!!!!!!!!!!

Not much else going on right now...I may be offered a full-time job at Rich's, which would really be not-so-bad now that the holidays are over. Peddling luggage isn't exactly a glamour job, but it's a paycheck...

I just started a wonderful new book called "Hotel Bemelmans" by Ludwig Bemelmans, best known for the series of "Madeline" children's books. It is hilarious, engaging, uproarious, and a close cousin to the best of P.G. Wodehouse. I recommend that everyone rush out to the bookstore and pick up a copy.

Signing off for now. I will try and write more regularly, but make no promises. :-)

FLT3

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot...

Does anyone really understand what the lyrics mean in "Auld Lang Syne?" If so, please don't bother to explain them to me. I prefer to think of them as lines to a truly vulgar and depraved, albeit cryptic, Scottish drinking song. I would be SO disappointed to learn otherwise...

I decided not to join in the revelry this year, and have indulged in nothing more decadent than a Milo's hamburger and fries this New Year's Eve. Actually, the internal damage from my meal is probably greater than that inflicted by a bottle of champagne. Oh well, there it is.

It is now about three minutes after midnight, and the fireworks are a-banging outside my window. (Some of them sound more like mortar shells, and on any other night, I would anticipate the coming of a revolution and/or gang war.) Earlier tonight, the 10:00 news broadcast a story about how local law enforcement officials have been asking (well, begging, actually) the locals to refrain from firing off handguns at midnight. A-way down here in the land of cotton, the new year is apparently oft-welcomed with gunfire. It's ever so charming to usher in January with a head wound, I suppose. (Favorite old joke: What are a redneck's last words? "Hey, Bubba...watch this.")

Happy New Year to all!

And The Dawn Comes Up Like Thunder...

...not out of China 'cross the bay, but in Birmingham, Alabama, where it's cold, grey, and generally boring. As I look ahead to another day of pretending to care if the customers at Rich's get a 10%-off coupon, purchase the P.O.S. $49.99-for-ten-pieces luggage, or drop dead of apoplexy on the spot, I keep in mind that customer service is simply acting...

A gentleman presented himself at my counter yesterday with a Samsonite bag which had clearly been through the Punic Wars, and perhaps even the Boer. "Scuffed" would not begin to describe this satchel. Said gentleman mentioned that he had flown with this case "three or four" times, and pointed to a small separation within the zipper. He demanded that we "honor the warranty" and replace the bag...despite repeated statements on my part that it was Samsonite, and not Rich's who bore responsibility for replacement, he persisted in his demands. I responded with a cheerful "let me get my manager" which is really retail shorthand for "f*#k you, I'm passing you along to someone who is sufficiently paid to deal with a*#holes such as yourself." When said manager arrived en scene, I dropped all interest in the proceedings, noticing the gentleman angrily exiting moments later. Oh, well...

Must sign off for now and greet another day in luggage-land. :-)

Food, Glorious Food...

Well, there wasn't any "hot sausage and mustard" nor were there "peas, pudding, and saveloys," but this evening did provide an excellent meal at the home of my friends Mike and Julia Fallon. They had a group in for a post-Christmas dinner, which was great fun, and the food was wonderful. A South-Western soup was served, not unlike chili, but with more varied ingredients. I will have to ask for the recepie...recipie...receipie...(I never could spell that word.)

FLT3

The Holly And The Ivy...

...when they are both full-grown,
of all the trees that are in the wood,
the holly bears the crown...

No significance here...just the opening verse of my favorite Christmas Carol.

It was a very nice Christmas, beginning with an overnight (which turned into 2-night) visit to my parents' house on Christmas Eve. The next morning brought a 6:30am arrival at my sister's house for gift-exchanging and breakfast. My sister and her family, my parents, my grandmother, and a couple of friends had a good time visiting and enjoying Christmas morning. Just a few hours later brought an excellent (as always) Christmas dinner back at my parents' house. After a huge meal, the rest of the day was spent relaxing and reading, or watching the 24-hour marathon showing(s) of "A Christmas Story" ("You'll shoot your eye out, kid!")

Early day at Rich's tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be busy. :-)

No "Carnivale" tonight, but HBO showed 4 consecutive episodes of "The Sopranos" which were outstanding.

I received several books for Christmas, including a collection of the writings of Theodore Roosevelt, and I look forward to some interesting reading.

Happy Christmas to all...

FLT3

Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful...

Entirely too cold to be creative, pithy, or even entertaining. Perhaps the brain and the font of observations will thaw in the next day or so. Until then, pedestrian commentary is the best to be offered.
A general malaise seems to grip those of us in southern climes when the thermometer dips below 60 degrees or so...perhaps those of hearty yankee stock are better prepared (or at least attuned) to such nonsense, but give me the heat of the summer. I'm already counting the days...
Christmas, THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS, and other fun diversions loom on the horizon, creating great expectancy and a feeling of incipient merriment. (I must have taken a Dickens pill with breakfast today, hence the resultant verbosity and flowery prose.) With that in mind, and with the wind whirling 'round the window, perhaps a bowl of oatmeal and "Oliver Twist" would be appropriate. ("Please sir, I want some more...")
Have gotten (re)hooked on the HBO series "Carnivale," which is well-written with some great characters, but (as the saying goes) as weird as cat shit in a blender. The re-runs have been plentiful and frequent, as the show's second season premieres in January. Still another year to wait for the return of "The Sopranos." Quel dommage!
Enough babbling for tonight...

Baby, It's COLD outside...

High for today was somewhere on the wrong side of 40 degrees...here in Alabama that qualifies as arctic. Probably less than 10% of all the conversations I had today did NOT begin with one of the two parties mentioning the freezing conditions...BRRRRRR!

The verdict is in on PETER PAN...with all income accounted for, we made a VERY modest profit. We will be able to pay all of the show's expenses, pay the rights for THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS, and then...well, we'll be almost broke again, but that's beside the point. :-) Centerstage is building more and more of a solid audience and donor base...I forsee great things for our little company!

No work today, but back to retail-land tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun!

Quiet Monday

After a tremendously successful run of PETER PAN, it has been nice to just relax for an evening. I worked from noon to 4pm at Rich's today, and even the mall was somewhat quiet and restful. I have some very nice co-workers who seem to share my sense of humor, so the time passes pretty quickly. While I don't want to make peddling luggage my life's work, it's not so bad for the time being.

The time has come for yours faithfully to start buying gifts, addressing cards, and generally getting ready for Christmas. Every year it seems to come a bit more quickly than the previous year! This weekend, there are several holiday parties to which I have been invited, and I am looking forward to each of them. I also hope to make it to the movies at least once or twice before Christmas, as I have not seen any of the holiday releases. The new "Bridget Jones" sequel is a must-see, and I have heard good things about several others currently in release. The popcorn is good, too! :-)

Hee Hee Hee

Funny experience tonight...a few of us went to Sneaky Pete's Cafe for a late dinner after the show. Among them was my friend Andy Duxbury, author of the (in)famous MNM reviews. Andy is a very dignified fellow, and while quite fun-loving and humorous, not really given to fits of mirth. A funny story was told about someone in the cast (not a mean-spirited story by any means, but names will be witheld nonetheless.) Upon hearing the story, he became so tickled that he could not catch his breath for laughing. This made everyone else at the table crack up, which made Andy laugh even harder...by the end of the evening, one only had to mention the name of the central character in the story to thrust him into peals of giggling laughter. Oh, the little joys of theatre...

Good show again tonight, with around 200 in the audience. Still hoping for a sell-out tomorrow.

Today was my father's birthday. I am happy to say that at 67 he is still going strong and for the most part doing well health-wise. I spoke to him for a few minutes this morning and look forward to seeing him and my mother at tomorrow's matinee.

Two To Go!

Another good night last night...with several other Christmas shows going on in town, not to mention multiple productions of "The Nutcracker," we had an enthusiastic crowd of just over 180, which in a 300-seat theatre feels nicely filled. Our pre-sale for tonight is at 150, and tomorrow's matinee is at 212. Birmingham is a big "walk-up" town, so I am hopeful and optimistic about our chances for ending with a sold-out performance.

I have been working a holiday job at Rich's department store for some extra Christmas money. Retail at the holidays is rough, but at least I am in luggage, which is a slightly less-traveled area of the store. Being an hourly employee (non-commissioned) also allows one the luxury of not giving a rat's arse whether the annoying woman with five screaming kids, a perpetually ringing cell phone and a bad attitude buys a 500-dollar Tumi carry-on, a 25-dollar cardboard suitcase, or for that matter, drops dead on the spot. Fa-la-la-la-la...

It's threatening to turn truly cold for the first time this winter. Tonight's low may dip into the upper 20's, and I am already counting the days until spring. Someday, when I make my fortune, I will definitely buy a little house somewhere along the equator. :-)

Another Good Performance

Just settling in after a fine, solid performance of "Peter Pan," which I have directed for CenterStage, the theatre group for which I am Artistic Director. We opened last weekend with three good performances, and following a couple of days off, we seem headed for a successful second weekend. Audiences have been (for the most part) large and responsive, and I could not have asked for a more talented, good-natured cast. Our spring show, which I am also directing, is "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" which should be fun.
Birmingham is a ridiculously conservative town in many ways, but so far there has been great advance interest in "Whorehouse," at least among the arts community. As with any arts organization, we have to be very aware of what will "sell," and I think we can look forward to large audiences for "Whorehouse."
Not much else to add...please visit our website at www.centerstage-productions.org to see what we're all about, and check out www.centerstage-productions.org/panbios/panbio.htm for a look at the wonderful cast of "Peter Pan."

Is This Thing On...?

Just starting out on the whole "blog" thing...it looks like fun. Any suggestions/tips from those among you who know much more than I about this whole computer thing?